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Your comments on Dress

I think this campaign is excellent. I am appalled at the conviction rates for rape and also at people's attitudes in an apparently 'modern' society. Keep up the excellent work.Karen Irvine, female

Congratulations on this excellent and essential campaign. The web site is very informative. I wish you every success.Iain, male

It is great that a campaign has highlighted some of the really pervaisive and harmful myths surrounding rape and sexual assaultCatherine, female

Hello everyone, This is Jane here from the interview. I would like to thank anyone who watches the interview or is helping the campaign. It is really important that we let as many people as possible know about this so we can start doing something about it. For any rape survivors out there, please, please tell someone whether it be the police or your local rape crisis centre. They are professional people who are really nice and are trained to help deal with these issues. Also please do not feel you cannot report your rape because you were say drunk or had been wearing a revealing top. No means not at all times and you are within your rights to say no before, during or after sex with anyone from the opposite or same sex. Thanks JaneJane, female

I think this is a wonderful campaign and that we all owe thanks to the many people that tirelessly campaign to try and change people's attidudes.Kirsty Pryde, female

I am so pleased and relieved to see a great campaign being launched to counter the ignorant and horrendous myths surrounding rape. Well done Rape Crisis, you've put the issue of rape back on the agenda, hopefully this campaign will encourage people to question their attitudes and beliefs.Amy, female

Yes! This is a brilliant campaign! These are exactly the kind of attitudes that need to be challenged.Rachel, female

Despite the strive towards gender equality patriarchal beliefs still persist. When, if ever, does a man consider he may be at risk or blamed for a sexual assault because of how he has dressed, flirted, whether he has consumed alcohol or given tacit agreement because he's in a relationship with a sexual abuser? We must all, men and women,dispel these outdated myths and judge the rapists for what they are...cowards and abusers. Well done Rape Crisis...as always leading the way!Maz, female

I'm very excited about this campaign's release. In my experience, even usually moral and considerate people often hold bizarre and damaging attitudes about rape and the assignation of responsibility when a woman has been raped. I hope this campaign at least changes people's private beliefs, if not their public ones. A woman may well be raped whilst walking home drunk and wearing next to nowt but this doesnt mean she shouldnt walk home drunk wearing next to nowt. Avoiding being raped should not be at the forefront of a womans mind, anyones mind, when they leave their house. And anyway, this stereotypical attitude that only young, attractive, drunk women who walk alone at night are raped denies the fact that women of all ages, races, backgrounds, appearance etc are raped, often at home and often by someone they know. When will people get it?!?! And before anyone starts, this is not a campaign designed to blame men, to demonise them: it is clearly designed to blame rapists for raping women, as well as challenging general beliefs about rape.Elle, female

I think this is a positive step towards eradicating the entrenched attitudes towards the subject of rape in which focus is always put on the woman. i hope that the message of this campaign will spread to the rest of the country. we need a new discourse; directing the focus onto the perpetrators as opposed to the victims. This is a campaign long over due. but halleluja it's finally here!mian, female

Fantastic campaign... I am so impressed and hope that the rest of the UK soon catches up with the groundbreaking public awareness work you are doing.Denise Marshall... Poppy Project, female

"Dont try to second guess the significance of a womans dress or demeanour women are entitled to make whatever choices they please when choosing what to wear just as men are free to choose whether or not to commit a rape" Seems a bit harsh to generalise like that! I should clarify. Men are free to choose - I am completely against rape. However, who said it was only men who are committing these crimes? Have you forgotten about the lesbian rapes, rapes committed on men, etc? More than a little insensitive and a little hypocritical for a page claiming to be about equality and how appearances shouldn't affect our lives in an adverse way..David, male

Long overdue, It is fantastic, I feel it will really grab peoples' attention and maybe focus them on their own outdated beliefs. For all the women out there who have been subjected to rape remember this was never your fault and hopefully this campaign will go a tiny little way to help you see that.Susan, female

I found ad's in your face and very attention grabbing which is exactly what they needed to be. For too long its been ignored as an uncomfertable subject. Well done!Fiona, female

I was driving down the road today and this big nipple picture was in a bus shelter window. It was the big nipple which caught my attention and my eye lingered upon it a second or so longer than it should have, and i nearly crashed because of it. Good luck with your little campaign but this nipple picture is a danger to motorists and should be removed from road sides advertising boards.Craig, male

Hello there. I think rape is justified if the female wears slutty clothes lololololFritz, male

Craig "Good luck with your little campaign" I have to say that it is not a little campaign. Being a rape victim myself this campaign is excellent and i'm fully on board. I do believe that this will change the way people think and if it stops just one person being raped then that is a small justice in itself. xxxNatalie, female

David, sexual violence is committed predominantly by men. That is not to discount the abuses that women perpatrate, nor the experiences of men who experience rape and abuse (which, according to all available evidence) is mainly carried out by other men, but, really. Do some research on the topic and you will be faced by waves of research to support that rape is mainly a gendered crime and abuse of power by men toward women. Your analysis (and I use the term loosely) is, at best, based on a real lack of understanding of equality issues. Finally, how many areas are realistic for one campaign to cover? The aim of this one is to challenge rape myths - myths which affect mainly women (men face different problems than being blamed for what they were wearing or what they had to drink). Is it too much to ask that you maybe do a little research and get hold of some facts before letting loose with inaccurate rants which serve only to distract from a really important campaign and message. I only wish men would be so vocal in challenging other men about their attitudes instead of hiding behind a pc.Alice, female

I agree with the last guy, it has been very genralised towards men. A friend of mines male cousin was raped but the woman got away with it as they said they did not have the right facility to put a woman who had commited this crime into. I think this is something that should have more time and money put into making people aware of it. Anyone can be raped by anyone, that should be ur slogan!Ashley, female

Excellant site and campaign however only portrays that women are raped when out drinking or scantily dressed and young. This does not represent a true picture of rape eg. women are raped everyday, young and old, able bodies and disabled and not just when they are going out at night drinking.Jill, female

These posters are brilliant in that they highlight women doing every day ordinary things and that makes them so potent. Rape can never be excused and in this supposed enlighten society should never be accepted or condoned. Everyone must condemn rape and demand penalties from our courts that match the crime, rape victims will live with what happened to them for the rest of their lives and their attackers should similiarly suffer a punishment that will remain with them for a long time.Wilma Gilchrist, female

What a spectacular waste of money.Stephen, male

This campaign does not place enough emphasis on a woman's responsibility to protect herself from her assailant. Please consider not only trying to inform men about when it is/is not appropriate to have sex with a woman, but also help the woman to know how to give clear signals when she does not want to have sex as well as how to protect herself when things go awry.Andrew, male

Who needs an invitation for rape!!! i think rape is a terrible word - i prefer to call it surprise sex!!!Danny, male

Jane from the interview has said something that should be picked up on. In her comment she says "you are within your rights to say no before, during or after sex" and I'm afraid I don't understand how a woman has the right to say no AFTER sex. Isn't this more confusing myth-spreading? I agree with Andrew that more should be done to educate women on how to communicate what she wants clearly and how to avoid getting in to trouble in the first place. This is in no way to suggest that rape victims are responsible for what has happened to them, I'm merely suggesting an alternative to the current blame culture - since when has blaming and moralizing ever truly helped a society or individual to come to terms with trauma? If we want to eradicate sexual violence first we must understand it. This doesn't include fear-mongering; has anyone on this campaign considered how pointing the finger at men instead of women and contributing further to present attitudes of mistrust may have future consequences on the lives of innocent men who are against rape? Perpetrators of sexual violence are emotionally and psychologically damaged people, yet we never seem to ask ourselves "why does rape happen?" Perhaps when we do we may begin to learn how to create a society in which men will no longer choose to rape.clare, female

What a horribly sexist campaign. The implication of your advertisement is that all rapists are male and all victims are female. This is demonstrably false and it is about time such chauvanistic attitudes were changed.Alan, male

As the victim of a violent rape I am horrified by the last three comments by Andrew, Stephen and Danny. I hope you never find yourselves asked to sit on a jury at a rape trial. You're just the sort of person I would not have liked to have had judging my attacker who went to jail. Rape is rape is rape. Forget gender, it's a power thing. It's illegal, it destroys the lives of victims and their families and friends. I said no, I tried to get away, I fought, I lost the battle, I was degraded, violently abused and raped. I don't drink, I wasn't dressed improperly (unless jeans, rugger shirt and jumper are improper), I wasn't being 'intimate' with my attacker and I wasn't in a relationship with him. It was mid afternoon. Your comments are the very reason why this campaign is so necessary. You are sadly lacking in empathy. If it ever happened to you or one of your loved ones I reckon you might think differently and see rape for the awful crime that it is. Shame on you for being such bad examples of some men's attitudes towards this dreadful crime.Jane, female

Anyone sick enough to commit the crime of rape will not be deterred by a poster campaign. The best way to prevent rape , and the circumstances that allow for rape to happen , is to exercise due caution when on a night out for example. No , I'm not telling anyone what to wear or how to act - that is totally upto them. But take care. To be honest I find the methods used by this campaign to be a bit crass and I feel that it demonises men. Good idea , badly executed.Paul, male

Anyone sick enough to commit the crime of rape will not be deterred by a poster campaign. The best way to prevent rape , and the circumstances that allow for rape to happen , is to exercise due caution when on a night out for example. No , I'm not telling anyone what to wear or how to act - that is totally upto them. But take care. To be honest I find the methods used by this campaign to be a bit crass and I feel that it demonises men. Good idea , badly executed.Paul, male

Most of the women close to me, my wife daughter, sons girl friend, have been victims of serious sexual assault at some time or other in their lives and a few cases have resulted in successful prosecution. I cannot say what permanent damage has been done to their lives and what scars they will carry to the grave, but I do know that the sickening sense of revulsion at these crimes and the deep sense of shame that I feel, as a man, (surpassed only by the crimes against children) are unlikely to leave me. That an intimate beautiful thing should be turned into a despicable act of violence and cowardice is both incomprehensible and bestial. So I welcome the initiative, but cant help feeling that it is yet another classic case of missing the mark. The offenders are not the people who think it is unwise for young girls to parade the streets late at night, semi naked and drunk, or who suggest that leading someone on and then saying no is foolish or who advocate more care in choosing someone to commit to or who simply encourage more responsible behaviour. The offenders are those who commit the crimes and I very much doubt if any amount of in your face advertising will change their attitudes one bit.Crawford, male

I think this whole campaign is really interesting and everyone should be made to find out about it. I have read many stories about rape in magazines etc even though I'm only a teenager. It's good to know that there is loads of help and advice out there for people who have been victims of rape. The bit about dress especially interested me as personally, i find that drunk old men always shout comments at me even when I'm just going to the shops in a decent length skirt. Well done. xMyriam, female

I think you are missing the point about this campaign Crawford. What the people behind this campaign are trying to do is change the way in which men view rape, and what is commonly accepted as rape. They want us to believe that a woman is in no way responsible at any time for being "raped" as they see it. If you dont understand what i mean, then do a google search on Helen Mirren, who, a few weeks ago, said she was raped twice while at university, but both times it was her fault, as she led the man on to the stage just before penetration, and then she said no. She also said that the men should never face prosecution. These comments provoked a furious response from some sections. While i do agree that rape is one of the most serious of crimes, I do also believe not all women who believe they have been raped and report it to the police, actually have been raped. Women do need to take responsibility for their own safety. This is a feminist led campaign, designed to demonise men. It will soon be reaching the stage that you need both parties to sign a consent form, and have had counter signed by two witnesses, before you can have sex with someone.David, male

I admire your efforts, but don't think that you can overturn millions of years of evolution with these facile posters.Neil, male

I think it's absolutley ridiculous that a female rape victim can be blamed for being raped because of what she was wearing, you have the right to wear whatever you want to wear without having to worry about being attacked. At the end of the day, why should a woman who is raped be blamed because of what she is wearing when really it is the attacker who is commiting the horrific crime.Katy, female

Surely Rape isn't just a female problem?Eddie Forummer, male

Nobody can deny the importance of campaigns such as this, but everybody still has a responsibility for their own safety. You have to accept that there are people out there who will/can do you harm, and you can also minimise the risk you have of encountering them. nobody should change the way they dress on account of fears of being a victim, but when every weekend I see young girls wandering around town centres late at night, drunk and on their own they are putting themselves in danger. As a man I avoid situations like this as there's always the risk of someone starting a fight or similar. It's no different for women. if you go on holiday, leave your windows open and get burgled- yes, you are the victim of crime, but you also presented an opportunity for the crime to occur. You didn't ask for it, but you didn't do anything to prevent it. This doesn't mean you are to blame for it happening in any way. You can't live in this society and expect everyone to play by the rules, you need to anticipate the ill-desires of others and act to protect yourself. Hopefully campaigns like this start more open discussion on such matters and raise awareness!Alex, male

Nice idea to raise awareness, too bad it portrays a false image of not only 'all rapists are male', but that 'all males are rapists'. Yes, a biased opinion because I'm male, surely - and while I'm not saying the statistics don't prove a female majority in the victim category, it seems a bit unfair to lump all men into one category of dangerous sexual monsters. If you attempted to make a campaign saying all blacks are criminals or all disabled people are useless you'd get torn apart because it's totally false and improper. There definitely needs to be a greater awareness of the frequency of rape and the damaging effects, but let's bring people together to support, don't exclude and shut out by portraying men as monsters. Some of the male comments are simply looking for some glory or trying to shock and offend. If it was their sister or daughter they'd change their tune. I wonder how the posters make women portray men that might approach them in bars or nightclubs with the best of intentions to actually get to know them.RDM, male

Paul and Crawford, wise up. The campaign isn't aimed at rapists. The point is to spread the attitude within the general public that rape, regardless of circumstance, is wrong and that the rapist should be held responsible for it. Rape is always going to be present in society, but it is the public's responsibility to determine how they're going to deal with it.Hannah Riotto, female

To those males who wonder about the effectiveness of the campaign when it comes to rapists: You are probably right that a rapist is still going to rape, but that doesn't mean that there shouldn't be effort to teach the non-rapists who dismiss the rape victims that what they're doing is wrong. Hopefully this campaign is going to be most effective when it comes to discouraging people from taking the rapist's side, which will have an effect on attitudes about rape. And to those who point out that there are male victims too, rape of males doesn't mean that rape of females shouldn't be acknowledged. Also, motivations for rape of males tend to be different than for females, so it doesn't surprise me that this campaign focuses on females only. And I see no reason why male victims shouldn't start their own campaign against rape.Martin, male

So we know that rapists are usually someone that the victim knows quite well, and that it's about power not sex yadda yadda. So what's the point of this campaign banging on about how women should be able to wear short skirts etc.? It's old school, tame, pointless, and behind the times. And the comments of "Before, during and AFTER" Jane at the top, perfectly epitomise the brain-dead rhetoric of the people behind this. We're all people, even men.A.Non, male

Good website, I am fed of people thinking of doing a rape on me because of my clothes. lol tb xBill Board, female

Lets be realistic, in no circumstances should a woman be raped whether she may be covered head to toe or is naked, BUT a woman who shows her body in a sexual way will attract a specific sort of attention. That is why most women who are raped are wearing revealing clothes!! They don't deserve it, but they DO play a part in it.Hamid, male

The name of this campaign is a complete contradiction...how can you invite someone to rape you? If you invited someone, this implies consent, but rape is non consenting sex!Tyrone, male

Thank you for this campaign- it's refreshing to see a campaign demonstrating that the only people who can stop rape are men themselves.Sam, female

Several of the above comments miss the point. This isn't necessarily about stopping individual rapists or potential rapists, but is geared more towards changing myths that dominate the discussion of rape in society. As for those who wrote above about how rape happens to all types of people, yes, it does, but it is incredibly important to consider the percentages. It is a crime mostly committed by men, mostly against women. If this is not something you like to hear, that may be difficult to accept. But it doesn't make this campaign any less necessary; it just proves this IS necessary.Tristessa, female

Puzzles me why some people; mostly men, are so driven to protect a man's 'privelege' of access to anyone's body; even though someone's happiness or even their life may be lost. These people are silent except when an opportunity arises to be apologists for rapists. What do they gain from that? With the utterly disgraceful record of arrests and convictions for rape, these people should hang their heads in shame.Lee, female

From your "Dress - What you can do"-page: "women are entitled to make whatever choices they please when choosing what to wear just as men are free to choose whether or not to commit a rape". Is it just me, or does this comparision trivialize rape? Women (and men, for that matter) should be free to wear what they want without fearing harassment, humiliation or rape. Men should not be "free" to rape without fear of retribution. Would you please change that formulation?Gabriel Psarros, male

Unfortunately I - along with every man I know - think that this advertisement campaign is an insult to men everywhere. To find it such a priority to remind men NOT to rape women is ridiculous. Implying that men think that women wearing revealing clothing deserve to be raped is an absolute disgrace. Do we need reminded not to murder or not to torture? I think it is reasonable to suggest that women would be up-in-arms if a poster were published stating A rich man is not an invitation to steal all his money via a divorce settlement and then take full custody of his children which I can assure you, happen just as much as invited rape. This is sexism at its inexcusable worst and I think anyone believing the average man is a rapist should be ashamed of himself or herself. In a new world that profits on the fear of individuals, this is not only exploitative to young females but also abusive to the average man. Remind yourself that you all have fathers and often thoroughly decent men in your family; do you remind them not to rape? An absolutely disgraceful campaign; shame on you all.John smith, male

This is an amazing campaign and I highly support it. I like the way you guys divide information into "myth", "facts" and "impact". Valuable read indeed, and I hope this will open many more eyes and minds.Munira, female

The campaign is targeting the common "myths" which lead to victims being blamed for rape, and I welcome it. Of course men are also victims of sexual violence, as are elderly women, children, disabled people....etc. However, there tends to be a bizarre attitude in our society of looking for reasons to blame young, attractive women for causing their rapes, while sexual attacks on the other aforementioned groups are seen as "sick" and there are no excuses made for the rapist. Rape against anyone can not be excused. I would welcome male groups highlighting the problems and stigma attached to males reporting rapes (as many female groups have in the past, & continue to do so).Mary, female

Found you thru Feministing.com... this campaign is awesome! And, to all of you nasty, rape-apologists ("but WHAT ABOUT THE MENZ???"): piss off. To the people doing this campaign: KEEP THIS GOING, Y'ALL!!! xoxo, Love, an American.Doctress Julia, female

Seems like some folks are getting the wrong idea in part - from what I've read on the website, the campaign seems in part to be trying to challenge the general perception of the public rather/more than the perpetrators of rape themselves. The examples of court situations where someone has got off completely/lightly because the victim was slatted due to dress, etc is wrong and so should be challenged. Unfortunately, I don't think that the current method of provocative advertising is likely to get this across to the general public, but maybe the advertising is just to get people to check out the website - which worked with me.Scott, female

This website is awesome! I thank feministing for pointing me in its direction. I plan to start spreading awareness at my high school ASAP.Elle, female

I support you all completly and only wish there was more towards males, but alas get the main problem sorted and we can work to the sides ;) And to Doctress Julia - to even use that name and tell men who have been raped to piss of, please go read the Hippocratic Oath and get some respect for all human beings. Keep it up guys.Josh, male

Fantastic campaign, fantastic website - thank you Rape Crisis Scotland!Eleanor, female

I dont know John Smith...should I remind my father and other "respectable" men I know not to rape? When statistics (and I mean REAL ones, not the widespread and mostly false gender stereotypes you presented) show that only about a fourth of rapists are unknown to their victim, about 3 fourths are friends, acquaintances, family members, or partners. Lets not begin the topic of unreported rape which I really can assure YOU, is much higher than the number of gold digging women. Can we please put aside the hurt egos and accept the fact that rape is a shame, and its not, never has been, and never will be the fault of the victim! If a man can walk down the street shirtless and feel safe, why cant a woman? Men dont have to question their sexual safety because they often are not the victims. And those who are victims disprove the unfortunate belief that what youre wearing puts you at fault. We as HUMAN BEINGS have the right to wear what we want. And in the 21st century, we should also ALL have the right of protection and safety!not a "feminazi", female

I don't understand why men feel insulted. This campaign is directed to EVERYONE, men and women, to try to get people to give rape victims more compassion rather than blame. This campaign is for everyone who has thought rape is partly the victim's fault which surveys have shown is over 25% of Scots. Even if we can stop rapists with this, changing the attitudes of police officers, judges, and everyone else could help more rapists get convicted and make potential rapists think twice. Good job.Lyndsay, female

This website is just just what is needed! About 30% of British people surveyed thought that women are partly to blame for wearing a short skirt and etc. Unfortunately, I know from personal experience that the "short skirt=rape" myth is not true. I was walking on a main street wearing long-ish shorts and t-shirt (also having short hair), got cat-called by some guys in a car, and then ran for dear life when said car stopped. Funny that people keep stressing women "keeping safe" when no other crime gets this level of victim-blamming, even muggings of drunk people.Charlotte, female

Just because this does not cover all forms of sexual abuse possible does not mean it's not a step in the right direction, nay-sayers. This is not a campaign aimed at men who rape, but rather the people who stand by and finger-point. Cops and nurses who don't take rape victims seriously, judges who let rapists go free, and so-called "friends" who discourage victims from seeking justice because "they deserved it." And judging from the responses here, it is a campaign badly needed.AVies, female

Women aren't the only victims of rape. Plus this campaign makes women look weak and hopeless. Needing protected from the evil that is man. Very bias.Gemma, female

Brilliant campaign! Ignore the trolls that have arrived in the comment section! They must spend a lot of time searching for things to disagree with...clearly not worth fighting with. Keep up the awareness campaign!Anonymous, female

This is a spectacular campaign. Well done!Meghan, female

This is simply the most idiotic, atrocious advert ever made in scotland, and when you consider the importance of the subject it's quite shocking. [This part of comment edited due to abusive language] Now they're going to see this and say, "hey, fantastic, it's not our fault if we get raped, let's be even whorier, after all - it won't be our fault!" I actually cringe every time I see one of these poorly thought out adverts up anywhere. Job well done, people.campbell, male

I was raped by a woman some months ago after recovering from surgery. I was highly sedated and on strong painkillers. She took this as an opportunity to preform and unsolicited sex act on me - one which I would have NEVER allowed had I been sober. Women can rape men, as well. Please include this into your campaign.BB, male

This campaign is clearly very successful and I have heard many young people discussing it. But I feel an excellent opportunity to address one of societys biggest remaining taboos has been missed, that of same sex rape. It appears that, even now, when our society is more open and ready to face its ills in a way never seen before that this topic has a blanket ban, even from pressure groups. Please consider this approaching this issue in future campaigns.Scott, male

Obviously its ridiculous to think that anyone ever "wants or deserves" to be raped but to ignore that how someone behaves affects the possibility of their being raped is foolish and do start a campaign to deny it is irresponisble.Mark, male

I'm writing a higher english discursive essay and this co-insides with my essay question, i was suprised to find the attitiudes of my classmates (male) seemed to match the myht rather than fact, keep up the great work =]Kate, female

Thank you thank you thank you!Jackie, female

Perhaps Doctress Julia should go somewhere and relieve her obvious, angry bitterness towards men, because it makes for unpleasant reading. Repeatedly this campaign has been described as "challenging the myths held by society rather than aiming at the rapists themselves". Umm..HELLO? no-one else see the massive flaw there? People who aren't actually raping people DON'T NEED TO BE TOLD NOT TO.Frank, male

What a wonderful campaign. Wish we had something similarly powerful in the States.SC, female

The violent act of rape is still taboo, and puts many people on the defensive. I was raped 5 years ago this month. I blamed myself terribly, even though I had done nothing out of the norm. My attacker was a friend of mine, who overpowered me in my t-shirt and jeans, and refused to respect my repeated refusal for any sexual contact. He later said to me, "I thought if I could make you be with me just once, you would realize that you wanted to be with me." I think for those of us who are normal, it's hard to fathom such a point of view. I understand why some men feel as is they are being villainized, but I want them to know how valuable their(and all of our) voices really are. I wish that my attacker had lived in an environment where his friends and family spoke openly of their intolerance of rape. It it a terrible crime which anyone can suffer, and our culture trivializes it. This site represents an awareness campaign, and serves to get a discourse going. That is valuable, and I thank the campaign creators for it.Giulia, female

It's very telling reading the comments section. I've noticed an overwhelming majority of male voices engaged in victim blaming, justification for rape, and foul jokes about the crime of rape. Is it not surprising that we need campaigns such as this to make people aware and educate them about what is inappropriate? Stop raping people and we won't need to inconvenience you with "little campaigns" such as this. I think the campaign is great, I hope it plants a seed of growing awareness in people inclined to ignore other people's bodily sovereignty, and proves to be very successful. Good job all around.Jen, female

fantastic to see such a bold initiative - this has been too long in coming already...I find it amazing how ignorant some people still are in a so called evolving society... lots of support ..HelenHelen, female

I think it's terrible how rape victims are treated a lot of the time.Ellie, female

I fully support this campaign,but think it is important to consider that women aren't the only victims, men can be raped too, both by women, and by other men. I think it is important that we don't portray all men to be monsters here. Having said that, as a survivor of rape I am in full support of any cause to end violence against women.Alysan, female

I don't think I've ever been so pleased with an advertising campaign. Let's hope we can change some attitudes and end the attempted legitimisation of rape!Chris, male

Drinking alcohol & the resulting lack of inhibition, or inability to give consent should NOT be taken as an invitation to take ANY advantage.HW, male

Wearing skimpy clothing in hot weather is acceptable, but wearing very skimpy clothing on a night out at the pubs gives out the wrong signal to SOME males. Skimpy clothing and alcohol does not reduce your right to say no to sex. No matter what situation you are in, your right to say not to sex should always be respected.M, male

Mildly erotic? Provocative? Follower of fashion? Whatever your view, how you dress should not be seen as an invitation that you would be "asking for it".HW, male

I do not believe that women who dress provocatively are sending out a sexual message, it's about fashion and confidence!AS, 19, female

Marriage is a commitment, but that does not mean men have the right to sexually harrass or abuse their partners.AS, 19, female

Get's the point across that there is no excuse/justification for rape.AD, female

Why is there nothing what so over about Male/Male rape or Female > Male rape? I know the percentages are lower, but to completely ignore is irresponsible.Mark Lawson, male

im sorry but increasingly many girls or women dress in a way that is very sexually suggestive, thats not to say they are open to rape but many should take more care on appearence. You can see this prime example on halloween when some are wearing next to nothing, and younger girls are getting a taste for it-and its slightly disturbing. increasingly bebo is becoming a place to model yourself in suggestive clothing-either what it is or how they wear it.Tom, male

What is womens goal with showing alot of skin, other then sending a signal of being fertile and attracting other people in a sexual context? -If none other: then it is a matter taking a riskBob, male

I for one am greatly offended by this campaign. The idea being presented that because I am male I am therefore to be treated as a potential rapist, and somehow need billboards and other forms of advertising to remind me not to rape women. I've spoken with a number of militant lesbians in the past who have had the opinion that all men, simply because of their sex, are "potential" rapists. It seems your advertising campaign has gone down the same route.Will, male

I think that this campaign is brilliant and is well called for . IT is a brillant way to educate people and raise awearness of this terrible situation when people have vulgar oppinions that it was the Rape victims fault . NO means no and there is no exuse for rape . I find it gut wrenching that some people have vile oppinions or sugest that the victim being drunk or wearing revealing outfits means its thier fault the get raped !Jamie-leah , female

Great campaign. Keep up the good work!Angela, female

While i applaud the aims of the campaign i can't help but feel that those who would contemplate forcing themselves on another (be they male of female) would do so in the full knowledge that the situations shown in the campaign are not "invitations to rape" someone. i saw a large billboard for the campaign tonight on the way home from work and my 1st reaction was actually humoured disbelief that it would actually have been considered effective because i'm not sure it is or will be. it may well be a talking point among people but actually making people who would consider perpetrating these crimes think twice about their actions?...i think there isn't a campaign that couldGary, male

Rapists don't use invitations, they just gate crash the party.Hardeem, male

This is the most patronising site in the world. I know when and when not to have intercourse with someone. I know this is a serious subject but come on give us some credit. In the 'mixed signals' photo she is clearly wanting a bit and in the rest of the pictures I know they are not an invitation for rape. If people come on here seeking guidance on whether or not they should be raping someone if they are showing a bit of nipple through a t-shirt then they are thick. Everyone that thinks this is a good campaign are idiots or given out the wrong impression by acting inappropriately. What a load of pish.John, male

I strongly support all efforts to change attitudes towards rape. But in a cultural context where being a pimp is considdered a good thing, and where violence against and sexual exploitation of women are glamorised, and women are dehumanised in every popular's men's and many popular women's magazines I hold out little hope for a campaign this small. The people who rape are almost allways men, and men really need to start seeing this as a man's issue as well as a women's issue. Everytime a man or women wears clothes that glamorise prostitution and porn, everytime they buy music or magazines that do the same, they are buying into rape culture. The responsibility rests with us, not the government or the police, and certainly not with the victims.Ed, male

You make a good point, and a lot of the information available on the site is shocking. However, I do agree that the site is sexist. Men and boys do suffer sexual assault, this perhaps is not on the same scale as a man raping a woman, but it is still important. Your campaign gives the impression that the only victims are woman and that it is only men that commit this crime. Those who suggest that women wearing reavealing clothes or getting drunk are inviting someone to rape them, is untterly ridiculous and it was clear as I read through some of the comments that it is only men who agree with this theory. That is very telling. Your campaign is very imformative but I highly doubt that it is going to make any difference, men who commit rape do not do it because they believe that the woman wants it or that it's ok to do it, they are not common people like me or you. So seeing a poster telling them not to rape their wife, or someone they meet on a night out is not going to make them stop and reconsider.Claire Docherty, female

You wouldn't walk the street with 1000 in cash, because people will get tempted, you wouldn't leave you're front door open. 'The facts' are, that flashing cash will increase the chances of getting it stolen, leaving the front door open will increase chances of burglary, wearing revealing clothes... sadly that is the way it is.Curtis, male

Do you really think that rapists will be looking at this site? What's it for?Michael, male

I hate people who rape women, scum, they deserve to be hung upside down by their privates, and then castrated and thrown in a cell for the rest of their life. But, instead, our justice system usually fails, and ends up sending back onto the streets, non castrated rapers who are now confident they can beat the system, and they end up raping sometimes not only once, but multiple times more. As well as sometimes even leading to murder. So many crimes needs to have their punishments revised, its a necessity to make them so harsh, that people will stop doing these things, and even fear just thinking about doing them. Rape crimes need to be stopped. They need to be prevented, and they 'need' to be punished 'without' mercy.Will Weremecki, male

Hi I just want to say that this campaign is wonderful. I was drugged and raped 3 years ago and my boyfirend at the time blamed me for it. I really hope this helps to stop the stigma attached to rape and means that more girls can come forward and report it when it does happen to them. Even now, not many people know what happened to me because I'm worried that they will think it was my own fault - how stupid is that (but it's what happens!!)Suzie, female

There is no excuse EVEN if you are wearing a short skirt EVEN if you were kissing. NO means NO and it should be respected. It is a violent, criminal act. As I have personally experienced the tragedies of this as have some of my friends, can I frankly say a great big "EFF OFF" to those of you who want the victims to take some of the blame. Of course they are going to blame themselves! They will berate and despair and wonder what if... Combatting these myths hopefully will make it easier for victims to come out and report what has happened. What we need is support - not doubt. Can we please stop talking about these victims who "cry rape"? I doubt they even exist. As far as I'm concerned it's a myth propagated by misogynists and sexual deviants looking for excuses.Tara, female

Clothing on a woman has nothing to do with leading a man on, basically the law is blaming the woman for getting raped. It is ridiculous. Your campain is very informative, it could make a difference if you's really work at it.Steffi McGarrell, female

The suggestion that there even is such a thing as an "invitation to rape" is appalling. I find this campaign shocking and am concerned that the research involved prior to launching the campaign was sub par posting educational billboards of the topic rather than suggestive and almost pornographic pictures of women would be a more sensible and less insulting approach.Justin, male

I think people are missing the point when they are talking about men who have been raped and why they are not included. It is important that men who have been raped get the support they need but it is not the same. When a man is raped do people ask what he was wearing? Do they ask if he had been flirting? If he had gone back to their house, or had a drink beforehand? That's the message I think these ads are trying to get across, and it's not just to those who rape, but all of society, as shown by all the comments above.Alex, female

I agree that all are myths.. bar one of them!! I have some squibbles with the myth concerning alcohol. I dont believe ANYTHING to be an invitation to be raped, however, I feel that blaming the rape on being drunk is not acceptable because you were not in a fit state to look after yourself due to your own actions and your own mistake of drinking too much. We have too much of a nanny state in the UK and have to start taking responsibility for our own actions.mary, female

Great Campaign, Great Website, lets hope it makes a difference. keep up the good work.Louis, male

Claire, it seems quite naive to suggest that people who rape are 'not common people like you or me'. The evidence shows overwhelmingly that the majority of rapists were known by their victim. People who were very much considered normal people like you or me . I think this campaign is great. The point that some people seem to be missing is that it is not trying to 'remind men not to rape' or 'demonise all men' .It is trying to challenge some of the insidious myths which surround rape. Those which place some element of blame on the victim, wether it be that she was dressing 'provocativly' or was intoxicated. The fact is that in regards to male rape these type of attitudes do not prevail. It is unlikely that a man would be blamed for wearing tight trousers or being drunk. Obviously there are many forms of sexual violence within society that need to be adressed but it is too much to expect one campaign to tackle them all. A great start though!Cat, female

I could take issue on blurring rape and the legal incapability of consent in the scenario cited under the dress section, but it highlights a fairly important peripheral problem. If increased general awareness of rape related issues can be used to resolve this misconception, then good on you.Isaac, male

I am very much a supporter of the campaign and think its a fantastic idea to try and stop within the country. However, I was somewhat disappointed to see that there is no reference to homosexual raping. This is the 21st century and yes same sex raping does occur. I think this is the reason why so many gay men dont come forward and report the fact they have been raped, as it has been drummed into people that rape only happens when a man rapes a woman, which is clearly not the case. Being a victim myself, I feel it is important to highlight this point to the public and make them aware that men get raped aswell. I never reported anything myself, as I thought I hadnt been raped, as it was never discussed growing up or at school when the teacher taught us about these aspects. Rape victims occur within both genders, so lets get the word out and help prevent the next victim being raped.Craig , male

It's not just about revealing clothing, it's also about leading a man on. Look at it this way: if a woman wearing - shall we put it bluntly - slutty clothing and then spending all night rubbing against whatever sexy men she finds in the club / whatever, then it's pretty obvious that a woman is going to be put in the situation of "putting up or shutting up." You can talk about your pretty morals until you're blue in the face, but that won't change anything. It is a woman's fault, if she decides that she's going to tease men all night long. Obviously, I'm not condoning rape at all, but you're missing the fairly basic point that we live in a society of take: if someone sees that they can get something, consequence-free, they'll take it. That's the attitude you have to change. Most people will look at your poster, anyway, and just see a hot, sexy girl.Charlotte, female

This site is ridiculous. We all know rape is bad already.Graeme, male

This is pretty dumb, if a man goes out with a rolex in plain sight in a bad part of town who do you blame? Be smart.Alex, female

TARA Whilst i agree that no means no and no women ever invites rape. I have to say that is is unfair to say that there is no such thing as a women "crying rape" Your accusation that people who say that are sexual deviants is offensive. I have never committed a sex crime in my life and the thought appauls me... However i cared for a female patient once who accussed me of rape. Rightly the system protected this woman and i was removed from her care. i was treated like dirt and looked upon with suspicion and doubt. I had done nothing wrong. 3 days later the woman admitted that nothing had happened to her and that she had made the accusation because i had insisted she not spend all day in her bed as it was bad for health. No action was ever taken against her and my career was severly damaged. I have a healthy sexual relationship with my long term girlfriend and no matter how aroused i am i allways accept no for an answer. I am no deviant. Rape is a disgusting crime that frankly sickens me but so does the idea of people using that accusation to get what they want. Please rememeber that people who do that make it harder for real victims to get the help and support they deserve.Daniel, male

All the bus stops on the main street in Aberdeen have your posters on one side, and the nude Keira Knightly 'Coco Mademoiselle' ones on the other side. Women must stand up for themselves and not dress like sluts if we are to avoid rape.Tara, female

I'd just like to say i am disgusted by this campaign it makes all men in existance to all be rapists. This is not the case this is the same as the stupid campaign that all kids who where hoddies are thugs and only a minority of them are. This advert is sexist in the highest standard classifying every man the same. My best friend was accused of rape which he did not commit. He was so distraught he nearly commited suicide! its not just women who are the victims. When a women shouts rape wrongly where are all the help groups for the man who has done nothing wrong and is forced to walk the streets in shame scared to leave the house incase he is verbally of phyisically abused when walking to the shops because the girl who relised what she did was wrong and her boyfriend would dump her if he found out. In my opinion these adverts should be removed as they are sexist and are a one way dig at society inviting women to feel as though they have the upperhand.Scott, male

"I know when and when not to have intercourse with someone. I know this is a serious subject but come on give us some credit." John, Male Apparently John the male doesn't understand the necessity of campaigns like this. Apparently John the male doesn't understand that 1 out of every 4 women being sexually assaulted, and with 96% of rapists being male constitutes an epidemic...Apparently John the male doesn't understand that according to these statistics from the DOJ website (u.s.) there is an epidemic of women being raped by men. Men who DON'T understand when it's okay and when it's NOT okay to have sex with a women. For all those men who are "insulted" by this...How about this, why don't you go out in the world and start a campaign of your own to STOP rape from happening in the first place. Why don't all you males who "supposedly understand" go out and educate all those other males out there that are out on the street raping women left and right. Gee it must be SOOOO nice to be male and be able to go out of your house without having to worry about being raped by a man. That's what we call "male privilege" and usually most men like to deny it even exists, as they are so blinded by their "male-ness" that this blindness causes most of them to be "insulted" by campaigns like this-one that point out that FACTS about rape. It shows that some men would rather blame women for their own rapes rather then look at the actual FACTS.Nic, female

By the way "mary"...about the drinking comment...So would you consider a girl who has some drinks, goes to sleep in her bed after a party (party still going on) and some guy picks the lock on her bedroom door and rapes her while she's sleeping. This happened to my friend, and the fact that you would think that she was even slightly at fault here is just sick. sick. sick. sick. sick. I'm sorry, but it's people like you who continue these myths, and it's people like you who need to be educated that drinking or anything else for that matter is not an invitation to rape. Just like it's NEVER okay to MURDER, and just like no one ever "ASKS TO BE MURDERED"...It's never okay to RAPE, and no matter what a women is wearing, doing, drinking, etc. it is never an invitation to rape. Your comments are deeply disturbing and it shows blatant victim blaming and outright hatred of women.Nic, female

This is definitely a step in the right direction to changing attitudes, but it is still a long way off. Rape is not always committed by a man, on a woman, sometimes by a man, on a man, or by a woman on a man, or a woman on a woman. None of these are any less traumatising than male on female rape.G, transgender

This is a great campaign. I've always hated rapists. You hear about it happening, and you just want to destroy the asshole that did it down to his very soul. I am very passionate about it and I must say I'm very ashamed of my gender. Good luck, anything I can do to help I will.Kaleb, male

Excellent. This is an amazing campaign. It's too bad a lot of people have missed the point, but I'm glad that you include their comments anyway, because it is extremely important that people are discussing this. Thank you!Rachael, female

I think your posters should have shown a wider cross-section of the population, (both male and female). Not all people who have been raped are good-looking with great self-esteem.Ali, female

I think lots of people make the mistake of thinking that tis campaign is targeting rapists.. it isn't. It is targeting wider society and prejudice and preconceptions in it about rape and how she could've expected it. Those are the harmful myths as they perpetuate victim blaming, permeate the legal system as well, and make it hard to 'come out' after suich an experience. Keep up the good work, and to all the guys feeling threatened by this campaign: f**k off - there's nothing inevitable about rape. It's mostly men who do it to women and when that happens, it's the man's fault, never hers. Period.irene, female

Brilliant campaign- about time someone tackled this head on. I wish we had a similar campaign south of the border. David, male

What about all the young boys and men who are raped? This is a sexist campaign and totally ridiculous. I dont think men rape women because they didnt realise the woman was not actually asking for it. They rape women because they are overly horny, perverted people who want to have sex right there and then. Is this website aimed at people who were considering raping someone and will now change their mind? This is the most bizarre waste of time and money I have seen in a long time.Randy, Thijs, Troup, male

Anything that can be done to stop rape is to be welcomed. Rape is the most disgraceful of all crimes. And some people forget it IS a crime.Kate, transgender

Whilst I agree with some of the points this campaign is raising I believe it is rather imbalanced and unfortunately lacks the sense needed to be effective. I agree with raising awareness about the nature of many rape cases and how they are often within relationships or involve people known to the victim. However I believe there is a definite lack of emphasis placed on the responsibilities of women in rape cases, especially concerning alcohol. Recently while I was working in South America a female American colleague told me how she had gotten so drunk the previous evening that she had no idea how she returned home or with whom. I cannot honestly say that if she had been raped in such a situation that I would had a huge amount of sympathy. I also defy anyone to mount an argument that she would not have been partially to blame in such case. I imagine the response I will get is, she may have been beyond decision in such matters, yet ultimately the man would have been responsible as he chose to rape her. This is correct. However, it is very nave to live without taking any responsibility for protecting yourself. Another issue that Im not sure was mentioned on the site is the issue of giving consent while drunk. It has been suggested to alter the law so a woman could retract the consent of sex in a court of law if she was drunk at the time of giving it. If I got drunk and assaulted someone, I doubt I would walk free from court by telling the jury that I was too drunk to have known any better at the time. There is a very fine line of difference between the two cases here. I believe one is always responsible for there actions. The topics of clothing, intimacy and general behaviour do go rather hand-in-hand also. There seems to be some contradiction of culture with views on this. I would appreciate if someone could illustrate to me how our media culture and the clothing fashion it stems does not promote a sense of sexual prowess through clothing, or a lack of it. Maybe I am wrong on this, Id appreciate anyones view. Ultimately, I absolutely fail to see how people see that a womans behaviour towards men who are often drunk and lacking in intelligence is not partially to blame for any unfortunate events. I am not suggesting that women should not be allowed to dress as they wish without fear of assault, but I do think a small amount of thought about behaviour could alter the reality of many cases of assault.Chris, female

Great to see the Scottish Government wasting money on yet more Nanny and disjointed policy. Posting erotic images in bus stops of woman straddling men then saying 'this is not an invitation to rape me'. What a blanket approach to what 99.999% of the time is a good night out. I wonder how many young men are going to be paranoid that the morning after there are going to be acusations flying. Stupid Scottish Government. I am ashamed to be a Scot and an Edinburgher.Sandy, male

all men are sick if they need to rape women!! especially if they use the most common excusses as " she was drunk,leading me on, wearin revealin clothing, and flirting with me!!!" there is just no need!! any woman has the right to wear what she wants and get as drunk as they want it doesnt mean that they are subject to rape and its most def not her fault!!!thereidsterr, male

All these pathetic losers who are sayin that its ok to rape a women because of her being "drunk" or or dressed to HER prefrence are just using that as an excuse to excersice there sick fantisies upon unsuspecting women i think this is pathetic!! I dont understand why they cant just get a girlfriend? but even then they would no doubt try the same on there poor girlfriend too. and these people that have said that women should be taught how to dress accordingly and not be flirty and so on you would think the rapists would get the picture when the girl says "NO" you dont need lessons for that its there sick minds that choose not to listen!!Dannii, female

I was raped by a man when I was a child. It is only recently that Glasgow has at last got a facility for male rape survivors. It was amongst the last in the UK to have one. I think the ads especially the one about marriage are anti-male, perpetuating the current myth amongst Andrea Dworkin types that marriage is made for men to abuse women and stop them being fully free etc. Rape of women should always be fought against, it's a pity it tends in a campaign like this to be driven by evidently embittered types who blur the boundaries to throw mud at men in general. Also, there is a difference between what happened to me, and many women, a stranger overpowering me and raping me in a secluded spot when I was just out going about myself; a difference between the violent rape that occurs in such circumstances and a situation where two people are drunk and they lead each other on to a point where later one has to argue whether there was a point of no return, or there has always to be a point of return. Forced sex is wrong and criminal, but don't call both of them the one word, "rape". That diminishes the full horror of what actually happened to me, to other children, and to other women who have been violently raped by strangers in the midst of their just going about their outdoor lives.Anthony, male

Quoting: "Hello everyone, This is Jane here from the interview. [...]you are within your rights to say no before, during or after sex with anyone[...]" --- What on earth do you mean "after"?Guy, male

Campbell (and Charlotte), just one thing: it is NEVER the person who was rapeds fault (no matter if theyre actually prostitutes), the decision to rape is always of the rapist (and hence he is accountable for it). Thanks for setting an example of why this campaign is so much needed. It is for people like you. Unfortunately, it doesnt seem to be workingLinda, female

I saw the advert on a visit to Scotland, and was shocked and disgusted by the negative light that this portrays men in. By implication of the medium and it's target audience, there is a strong inference here that the male population is made up of potential rapists. As a civilised, law abiding citizen who respects women, I find it downright offensive that I should be preached to like this by people who have abused the liberal law of this country to broadcast a public slur against men. If you want to reduce the incidence of rape then I suspect you're going the wrong way about it.Doug, male

I agree with earlier comment made. I do not agree with having a poster at bus shelters PROMOTING a womans breast. Yes, it may cause people to look and investigate and ask questions, but in my opinion it is distracting to motorists, bus users and is offensive. I fail to understand how this will prompt anyone to consider the issue of rape. I will be writing to advertising standards to complain. This area needs to be addressed and peoples opinions challenged but not in this way.Andy W, female

I have to say that I'm loving the posted with the errect nipples! Good to see that the UK prudish nature is being challenged. The more hidden or sexuality is the more likely we are to have innapropriate events happening, rape being the most serious. Good work!Ian, male

I am utterly stunned at a lot of the responses by men on this site. They seem to have completely missed the point, either deliberately or because they really find it difficult to challenge their own thoughts. This site and campaign is not about changing rapists behaviours, if a campaign could do that, it surely would have already. It is about changing the community's attitude to survivors of rape. Changing it from one of "she was asking for it because..." to "A woman's 'NO' means 'NO'. Full stop." Yes, we know that men experience rape, yes, we know that women perpetrate rape, and we also know that there is no way to incorporate all aspects of this topic into one campaign. We know that women are overwhelmingly the majority of victims, and the victims of men. We also know that community attitudes can and DO change, and that this is always the place to start: in the community, talking to each other about it, challenging each other's ideas. Use this campaign as a starting point to discuss women perpetrators or men victims, and while you're at it, talk about the fact that NO victim EVER "asks for it" no matter their gender. And no rape victim EVER should take any amount of blame.Erin, female

I hate to sound like a prude, but I only like seeing nipples and breasts when I'm about to have sex with their owner. Yes, I know they stick out and are pretty obvious, but is the woman above trying to make me erect? Granted, it's not an invitation to rape. But to me it is an invitation to say "For pete's sake woman, go home and put some proper clothes on"Lawtears, male

This website is amazing. Keep spreading the word and empowering women!Sophie, female

I am deeply shocked by numerous comments on this site. I appreciate there may be concerns over the execution of the campaign, and I understand concerns relating to shock tactics and sexualisation of women. But the execution and the actual message are two different issues. I was particularly appalled by Tara's comments relating to dressing like sluts- I was only just 17 when I was sexually assaulted. By my boss. I had a boyfriend of two years. And in fact the evening it happened I was wearing my chefs whites as I worked in a kitchen. He was not a stranger, but a man I looked up to, a person I had known for months and whom I hd spent a lot of time with-I considered him to be a friend. This experience has not skewed my opinion of men-they are not all evil, sick or potential rapists. This campaign does not infer that in any way, Scott I think you are taking a rather extremist view. To Sandy I ask-how can you possibly liken my experience to a 'good night out'? This campaign is to get people thinking, and for anyone in doubt of the views held by adolescents, or views generally pleas go and search sexual violence on You Tube and see how many people see it as a serious issue. And to John, your comment about 'mixed signals' clearly indicating 'wanting a bit' is a prime example of how rape is belittled and is perpetuated. If I, as a consenting adult (this does not apply to children) of any sex choose to give oral sex for example, it does not mean that I wish to have full penetrative sex. All it takes is a simple question: do you want to... The point of rape is that this choice is not available to the victim. I also agree that sexual assaults do include same sex and also women raping men-both of which are equally disgusting and need to be addressed. This is in no way a hate campaign towards men-but as this forum has pointed out, there are so many attitudes still in need of changing.anna , female

Further to my previous comment, I also want to say that what happened would have happened no matter what I was wearing, if the mentality and intent is there nothing that will stop it.anna , female

I'm curious. I understand that dressing in revealing clothing isn't an invitation to rape, nor is using intimacy or drinking or being in a relationship; but what if a woman combines more than one of those? If she's wearing revealing clothing AND being intimate, is that an invitation? What if she's doing three? Please help me out on this important manner, many thianks.David, male

Educate and prepare young men to be good citizens, ads like this do nothing to prevent rape, they only serve to stir paranoia amongst the female population.Rick, male

To Tara. My ex-friend cried rape. She did this because she had sex with him and didn't want her boyfriend to leave her. The man she accused had to leave school, and was severely beaten several times (twice giving him an extended stay in the hospital) , and was disowned by his family and friends who thought he had committed such a horrible, violent act. I'm not suggesting that every rape victim is crying rape, but it does happen.Penelpoe, female

This is an excellent idea.Cat, female

Where does it say ALL men rape? WHERE? If you feel so targeted by these ads, perhaps there is a reason.Alan, male

To the men of this forum: When victims of rape and sexual assualt and harassment speak, be quiet, and listen. Taking everything as a personal attack/statement lies at the very heart of male privelige and trivialies the victim, it says: I'm more important than you, what I think is more important than what you think. Why is it so hard for you to listen? What have you invested in protecting already formed ideas? Why is feminisim made out to be a word that can be used by men to attack women? Isn't that an inherently misogynistic contradiction?Linda, transgender

Great advert but can anyone tell me as I stand at a bustop with my 7yr old son how to explain what rape means?I believe strongly that there is a time and place for adverts like this, nightclubs,bars etc but on the side of a bus shelter? And is it only men that rape? I really dont see the logic in these posters its like trying to tell smokers that its bad for you. If someone,male or female, yes female as well, weants to rape a poster isnt going to change their mind. Not all men rape,not all men are after one thing.We do have a mind as well.Billy, male

Disgusting, sexist and sickening campaign! It makes all men feel like criminals!mark Prendergast, male

I would like to see a similar campaign in Canada. All too often I hear how it is my fault as women if I am raped or if my partner is violent with me. Love the shock value.kat, female

Rapes are committed predominantly by men against women. Why is pointing this out "demonizing men"? Why is mentioning that marital rape actually happens somehow "anti-marriage"? This is a campaign to raise awareness of the issue of rape by men against women. Want to start your own campaign of rape against men? Be my guest. No one is stopping you. But to present the cases equally would be a disservice to the vast amounts of women who have been raped compared to men. This campaign challenges commonly held doctrines that it's not rape when they're married, it's not rape when she's drunk, and it's not rape when she's being "sexually provocative" (whether through flirting or clothing.) And Anthony? Rape IS forced sex, no matter what the circumstances. The majority of rape is not committed by strangers, the majority of rape is not committed on men. You misunderstand the campaign.Anonymous, female

I was so thrilled to see this site, and so disappointed with so many of the comments. Nothing in this campaign claims that all men are rapists, or that all rapists are men. It's about women recognising their personal and legal rights. Can you imagine someone having their car stolen, and being told "Well, it's your fault for driving your car to this area of town" ? Though it sounds ridiculous in reference to a car, many, many rape victims are told or lead to believe that it's (partly) their fault. People have the right to not have their cars stolen, regardless of where they drive, and likewise, people (both men and women) have the right not to be raped, regardless of what they wear or whether they've had anything to drink. It worries me that even when people are directly told this, they still don't believe it. Even if this campaign doesn't prevent rape from occuring, hopefully it will at least help victims understand that in no way are they responsible for being sexually assaulted.Steph, female

Are all men rapists? Of course not, but the overwhelming majority of rapists ARE men. If we ignore this fact we will never get at the core of why this ad campaign is needed so badly in the first place. So to all of you men who "respect" women, let's ask ourselves as men--how do we respect women? is it only BECAUSE they are "our" wives (and then we do not have to extend that respect to ensuring ALL our sex is consensual and mutual?), do we respect them only FOR their bodies, do we respect them as long as they don't dress a certain way, don't act a certain way and don't speak a certain way? I say that is not respect at all, it is control. Real respect is examining our attitudes and the myths that perpetuate them and dedicating ourselves to change. Kudos to Scotland!Chris, male

Scarleteen -- the best online sex education site has a very important page for men on how not to be a rapist. We should tatoo this bit on our sons' forearms ...When someone wants to, really wants to, have sex with us, we'll know because that person will be taking a very active role, will be saying -- if not yelling! -- "Yes!" or "Please! or "Do me NOW!" We may know because that person is the one initiating sex, at least as often as we are. (If youre going to say that younger women just arent like that yet, know that isnt always true. Some are, but those who arent likely arent because things are either moving too fast, or they really just arent ready for or that interested in sex with you yet.) We'll know because it will feel like something we are absolutely doing together, that couldn't happen if the other person wasn't just as engaged as we are (imagine trying to dance with someone else when theyre just standing there or not really paying attention: same goes with sex). We'll know because our partners will absolutely not "just be lying there." We can easily be sure never to rape someone by making a choice to ONLY have sex with someone else when we are certain we have not only their full consent, but their full interest and attention, and they ours; when theyre clearly as enthusiastic about sex as we are, and were just as excited about their enjoyment as we are our own.....Randomizer, male

I feel that rape is a horrible crime, which impacts on the lives of many, and support any organisations which encourage disscusion of it. However, I do feel that the campaign does miss the mark. The issues surrounding males who rape usually involve their own values of what is in their eyes acceptable, and a few posters here and there will not change this. I feel that a better angle for the campaign would have been to encourage women to be more self aware. I believe that women should be free to wear what they choose and so on... however I believe a certain level of responsibility should be acknowledged. unfortunatly rapists exist in our society and therefore we as women should acknoledge this. This is the same to say that we acknoledge that paedophiles exist and we therefore should not leave our children vunerable to them.sarah, female

I see woman who have been victims of rape daily, they are traumatised, broken and their lives are destroyed. All women have a right to wear what they want when they want, drink what they want and be proud of their sexuality, this does not invite men to assume they want sex. A lot of these women have been druged, kidnapped and misled into dangerous, volatile situations. They did not knowingly do this, they just trusted the people they were with, or lost their friends. I believe we all have a responsibility to protect women and children against any violence. I would ask of all women that if you are out you must be aware of your safety, dont be alone. I am sorry for this but we live in a cruel and dangerous world at times. I must also point out that most men are wonderful, kind and as horrified at violent attacks as women are. I am shocked at some of the male comments though, but appreciate they have targeted this site with their misguided, ignorant opinions which they really should keep to themselves. I will continue to work extremely hard towards a society that sees rape as the serious, appalling crime that it is and try to raise the prosecution and conviction rate. I believe that any campaign to raise awareness to woman and men must be a good one. Thankyou TeresaTeresa Snr A&E Nursing Sister, female

diasagree with rape.but also disagre with how some of your topics are explained.no, just because a woman is drunk isn't an invitation to rape that is true BUT she should be aware of the dangers of excessive drinking.although rape isn't anyones choice how much you drink ISGaskell, male

If there is an invitation, then it's not rape.Matt, male

It's funny how a woman's nipple in a rape campaign advert is "distracting" when naked or scantily clothed women are advertising all sorts, Andy W.Rebecca, female

I don't get all the comments from people saying 'how dare this campaign say all men are rapists?'. Where does it say that? Saying that the majority of rapes are committed by men is true, and no-one can argue with that, but none of the images or the text on the site says that all men are rapists? It seems like it's easy to dismiss the images and write off people who are trying to get us to think about our opinions. It is not just for those who rape but everyone in society, as we are the jurors, the family members, the friends that can make a difference in changing our opinions and making sure that victims are not blamed. It seems like the easy option to just dismiss this rather then really engage.Annie, female

The mere fact that Andy W has viewed this site probably justifies the use of the image of the bra-less woman with a largely unbuttoned top. It's a shock tactic: it got Andy W's attention, it caught mine, it will catch a lot of others. The idea of the billboard adverts is to direct people to this website. The more people who see them, the greater the views of the website. Job don. Excellent campaign.TS, male

I remember the Lyndsay Armstrong case. I also remember that the Judge or Sherriff who led the investigation into her suicide asked why she was depressed. He just couldn't understand the negitive affect that the rape and the humilation of the court case had on her. It is so sad that there are so many people out there, both men and women, who are too humilated to come forward to report this discusting crime. Attitudes have to change.Claire Casey, female

I commend John Smith on his post. It basically covered exactly what every male should be feeling after seeing this campaign. A complete and utter waste of money, the campaign appears ignorant and its 'this is not an invitation to rape me' slogan is degrading. To all the supports of the campaign, kudos to you for being ignorant. Do you not think there would be a better way to address the problem? Education is certainly the way forward to prevent rape, however being hypocritical and having a biased view towards rape is certainly not the way forward. I am empathetic to anyone that has posted here who has been raped and I know I'll never go through what you went through, however the fact is your emotions cloud your judgment. It is the plain and simple truth, and I understand on a topic like this there really shouldn't be a plain and simple truth.John Doe, male

Wow niiice website.BOB., transgender

While there is no excuse for rape, pornography is also dangerous and destructive to society. When women dress in revealing clothing they become pornography.Dalaney , male

Honestly, this is hardly going to cut rapes. Rape is the worst crime anyone can commit EXCEPT for lying about being raped.Andrew, male

The campaign is disgusting. How dare you blatently go 'after' men. Rape is not just something that can happen to women.scott, male

Teach modesty in dress and behaviour, and try and change the lewd society we live in. Women need to understand men don't think logically when they are aroused, and its the way they dress and act that arouses men, who even if they do nothing to you, may go after someone else instead.James, male

Sadly so many of you seemed to have completely missed the point- the adverts are not intended to stop rapists but to change/challenge the general public (men AND women) and their attitudes to rape and blame. It does not address the issue of male or child rape because it is just one campaign and cannot highlight every issue that arises in connection with sexual abuse. It does not demonize men, it challenges damaging opinions. Think before you type people!!Joanne, female

Who are you to define the acceptable limits of self control? If you hold fresh meat out to a tiger don't be surprised if he take your arm as well. Why should our natural desires be smothered to satisfy the bitter minds of the small minority who wish to neuter mankind?Pete, male

Seriously guys - stop blaming the ladies like its their fault for being raped!! They have the choice to wear what they want and get however drunk that they want - rape is not their choice though!! Thats the guys choice which is soooo wrong!! Have some respect for the ladies!!Chris, male

Judging by the comments made by most of the males on this site, this campaign was MUCH needed. The men feel insulted, and attacked, and feel as if they do not need reminders to not rape a woman. WAKE UP GUYS!! If you didn't need reminders, we wouldn't be having this debate! This site exists because of the huge number of men who apparently DO need to be reminded not to rape women. And just maybe it may dispel enough myths for our youth so that rape is not so prevalent in the next generation. It is a shame we can't count on the fathers to teach this lesson.Stephanie, female

To all those guys that say that if a woman dresses provocatively she is asking to be raped, answer this: I see you, dressed as a plumber, in your van. Does that mean I can drag you out at knife point, march you up to my flat and force you to fix my kitchen sink? Just because you're dressed as a plumber? Just think about what you're saying next time you wheel out that old argument.Anon, female

So it's OK for a guy to be raped if he's wearing a kilt? Coz chances are he's not gonna be wearing anything under that kilt, so you know, he's asking for it, isn't he?Scots lassie, female

This whole campaign disturbs me. The fact that in the year 2008 the public still "has" to be warned that rape is something that you shouldnt do is absolutly rediculous. If that is the case, then the campaign is a good idea. However the execution of the Ads are AWFUL! One I seen went something like this... "RAPE. a kiss is not a contract, a feel is not consent and a hard-on doesn't give you the right to force yourself inside a women." All this does in my view is give the Family Guy generation a right good giggle. Now, dont get me wrong I dont think rape is funny. FAR FROM IT. However, this kind of campaign in this day of age cannot be taken seriously. Which is a shame. Because the issue obviously still needs to be pressed home.Simon, male

James male you have just written exactly what this campaign is trying to prove. Rape has nothing to do with what a woman wears or how modestly she behaves ....unfortunately modestly dressed and behaving women are also raped. Scotland I commend you on this campaign. Its consciousness raising is really needed worldwide.erica, female

Pete-- so, men have desires and women don't? Women have to control themselves *and* men while men have no responsibility? If someone nicked a chocolate bar out of your hands, would you be saying, "Ah, must be a chocolate craving-- I shouldn't eat chocolate in public" or would you have thought "Have some self control!!!!"? The usual idea in society is that we are each responsible for our own actions. Which means that yes, men will have to exercise some self control. If your "desires" are that strong, let me introduce you to a way to take the edge off without neutering you: your right (or left) hand. And I'll leave your chocolate in peace. We're human beings, not animals and I for one am proud of that!Kirstin, female

I've never seen such a load of biased, agressive, feminist crap in my life. If your "poster child" doesn't want sex she should keep her hands out of the lad's trousers!Amanda, female

I think even if a woman would walk naked, nothing would give you the right to simply jump at her and rape her. I mean, how cruel can you be? Do men have not a single trace of humanity in their head, and simply feast their lusts upon a woman, claiming afterwards "They were dressed suggestively?" Disgusting, downright disgusting.Kenyi, male

I think this is an excellent campaign, although most of the comments here seem to miss the point of 'This Is Not An Invitation...' I was raped seven years ago by an ex-boyfriend. I was dressed up to the nines, on a night out with friends, and drinking alcohol - I was drunk. He followed me home and broke into my house, and raped me while I was passed out in my own bed. The following day my friends said that I must have let him in the house, that it was not rape because I had been drunk and could not be certain I hadn't consented, he was an ex afterall. With reactions like that from close friends I quickly realised I would have no chance with the police, and decided to save myself a lot of heartache. I even doubted whether it was "rape," had I in some way asked for it by wearing a mini-dress and getting drunk? It really messes with your head, and it took me a long time to come to terms with the whole thing. Bottom line was, I didn't want to have sex with him, I didn't consent (being unconscious makes that quite difficult) and he had sex with me anyway. That's what this campaign is about - telling women like me that we are victims, and did not in any way ask for or deserve to go through such an ordeal.Kitty, female

i completely agree with this campaign alot of the public need to be a bit more open minded when it comes to rape and not think that the way women dress is to attract male attention i have in the past wore revealing clothes that some might find "slutty" but i wore it as i thought i looked good not so men would look at me i was sexually abused by a friend of my dads when i was growing up is that to mean it was my fualt as i wore dresses and skirts. i understand the men thast have wrote on this page as men are portrayed as the most common type of rapist but no one is suggesting that all men are rapists and that its only women who get raped we all know it isnt xxk, female

i dont care if you are male,female,transgender, straight gay or lesbian. rape against anyone has to be stopped. this sight is not targeting men. it is trying to deal with the issue of the CRIME. it should not matter if a woman is wearing lots or very little clothes or if she is drunk. no one would say "well you should have held your handbag tighter and you wouldnt have been mugged" or if you locked the wheels on your car it wouldnt have got stole in the first place. get a grip here people. rape should be seen the same as any other serious crime and should be dealt with in the same manner. personally. i would shoot any male or female that raped. i dont see why my tax should keep them in comfort. a bullet if bought in bulk costs next to nothing.Linda fae Glasgow., female

to Linda. transgender. Well said. good for you.Linda. Orkney, female

A sentiment expressed repeatedly by many women on this site is that 'men have completely missed the point of the campaign.' Well isn't that telling that it's an ineffective and confusing message?! What a shameless waste of money and a cynical side-swipe at men by people who should know better!! Reminds me why I want to move out of this country.Duncan, male

James 'Women need to understand men don't think logically when they are aroused, and its the way they dress and act that arouses men, who even if they do nothing to you, may go after someone else instead.' and Pete 'Why should our natural desires be smothered to satisfy the bitter minds of the small minority who wish to neuter mankind' What an insult to men - and you say we are anti-men!EM, female

This is an outrage!! Its a great cause, but the subliminal impact on the psyche has the opposet effect of what you are trying to promote. You promote through the use of billboards with an image that activates pleasure in the brain then the word rape next to it, linking the word to the feeling, meaning that seeing the billboard makes you more likely to commit rape. Psychological fact! There is no rape problem until its influenced through the medias manipulation, a good exmple of is our "kernel of truth" which is ruthlessly exploited to exaggerate the danger and thus increase readership or viewership to the mass population. see the effect? I do support the cause but the range of ideas need to be reviewed. Peace, Insight. For music with substance goto myspace.com/mcinsightinsight, male

This is an excellent campaign - people need to change their views on this subject and hopefully this will highlight the major myths! But I also cant believe the men complaining about this site, actually have the cheek to leave a comment!! It only highlights the cave man within them!KLP, female

I think this campaign is missing the point. Of course none of the your pictures depict "invitations to rape". But that's a far cry from your implicit message, that women should be able to feel entitled to do any of these things safely. Human sex is basically no different from animal sex. Animals respond to sexual signals, and so do people. The things your women are doing will sexually stimulate men. Sometimes, this stimulation will be strong enough for primitive male instinct to overwhelm civilised restraint - result: rape. Are the men responsible for this? Should they be? A more responsible campaign would be to downplay "rights" and "blame" and emphasize cause and effect. Women doing the things you're picturing are likely to get raped. What's wrong with a bit of discretion? No, they're not responsible - irresponsible seems more like it. Maybe a bit of sex education could help here.Alan Mackenzie, male

=( I can't believe we're still doing this sort of thing. Why do we as a people go from one extreme to the other? NO- dressing sexy is not a invitation for rape, but it's also not the opposite extreme- dressing well and stylish but not WHOREISH. It's staggering to think that your actions have no consequences. This is the progressive way of thinking. Yes, getting drunk and then raped is partly your fault for not staying in CONTROL. Drugs/Drinking impairs judgement. Don't do something the night before that cause you to feel ashamed about it later and scream rape. No I'm not saying rape is made up, but I am saying that some CONSENTUAL SEX is later deemed rape when it's not. Stop acting like animals people. Take control of yourselves and lives, and take responsibility for your own actions. Sadly, Rape is NOT ALWAYS Rape. And yes rape crisis centers are extremely underfunded, victims need all the help they can get especially at a time like that.Chris, male

So, Chris, do you think that out of all the people who report a rape, less than 10% are telling the truth? what about people who don't report it because views like yours, and many other narrow minded, under educated people who have commented on this site, have made them think it's their own fault? Or that there's no point, because they wont get a conviction anyway? The campaign isn't to decide when rape allegations are true; it's to stop people getting away with it. Men who have said on this forum that women can't expect them to control their urges - you're disgusting. The majority of men CAN and DO control their urges: Ive asked a man to stop half-way through sex before, and it was not a problem. Men DO have the capacity for self control, and the fact that you dont, or expect other men not to, says more about you and your animalistic tendencies than anything else. The point of the campaign is to prevent rape by encouraging women not to feel ashamed, and encouraging courts and juries to see past excuses that put the blame on women. Men rape (not all of them, I know, and women do it too ...) because they get away with it, by simply saying "oh but she was drunk" or "she danced provocatively with me". If we can break through these myths, maybe the minority of men who think about rape, will think again.Stacy, female

I don't care if a girl stood up on a bar completely naked, if she said no she said no. nothing else matters.Mary, female

Sory Tom, I have to disagree with you. I wear nice clothes, some are expensive. This say 'I have money'. and is not an invitation to steal from me.Allan, male

Do you seriously think that this is going to stop a single rape? Good guys don't need to be reminded how to rape, and assholes are not going to come to your little website and be like "oh I respect woman now." How about instead of encouraging getting as drunk as you want, and dressing as whoreish as you want, you address the actual issues behind rape. This site seems more like a penis bashing center then a website for legitimate discourse.GOD, male

Tom, what bearing does a tendency towards more revealing clothes have upon the likelihood of assault? Such an argument is not only an insult to women but to men as well - implying that they have no self control when they see a woman dressed appealingly. You have missed the entire point of this campaign. Women should be able to wear what they like, safe in the knowledge that men will understand that they have enough mental competence to communicate to them, through WORDS, their willingness (or unwilllingness) to have sex - since when does a short skirt have more of a say than a human being's voice?erin, female

The campaign is so necessary - as we can see from many of the comments - it does not aim to demonise men, just to challenge the general pre-conceived notions held in society. The view that women invite rape or encourage it are held, surely, because of ignorance and fear, this is why any campaign which attampts to bust taboos and open a forum for discussion should be commended. Some of the men';s comments are kind of contradictory; women shouldn't see all men as potential rapists (which we don't - we aren't all paranoid) but we should cover up and protect ourselves?? Hopefully seeing this campaign will make people who hold such believes think about their motives and reasoning behind the comments...The people behind this campaign do great work with survivors of rape and so they should know a bit about why and how it happens. Ignorance is bliss - we are happy to live our lives not seeing or caring about the number of people (men and women and children) who are raped - in their home, their place of work, somewhere they previously felt safe or on the street. It's no wonder women fear rape - I know people who it has happened to, I know boys who had to run from attackers in Kelvingrove and I have been sexually assaulted myself. Sadly most women my age have been the victim of assault at some point - whether that's a guy approaching me and being sexual or threatening, or shoving his hand up my skirt, touching my breasts or bum. How dare he think my body is his to violate?? I don't deny men the same right to own their body and to raise their voice in protest against abuse - we are all human beings; from birth we have the right not to be violated. Sadly in this world very few of us go to the grave with this right untransgressed. Just cause it happens so much DOES NOT mean it's ok, it DOES NOT mean campaigns like this shouldn't be out in the open. If things are ever to improve, if survivors (of all kinds) are to get better justice and better help then we've got to change our attitudes as a culture; break the cycle of ignorance and teach our children what is right.Sarah - student, female

I'm completely against rape, regardless of whether it is a woman or a man that is the victim, but this campaign angers me whenever i see the the posters on the bus-stop simply becuase my cousin was raped when she was 13 and i can only imagine what goes through her head when she see's these posters! It all come's down to common sense! People who know right from wrong KNOW that these are not 'invitations to rape' someone! The rapists simply are sick individuals who should be castrated, end of! But i don't think it's really appropriate to have poster's of girl's with their nipple showing in public places, did the marketing department fail to recognise that kids walk these streets also!Brian, male

Actually Chris, how about a woman being raped is the man's fault because he LOST CONTROL. What kind of man has sex with a woman who isn't all there? One committing a crime. Unfortunately a woman getting drunk can be making herself more vulnerable but only if she is around men who are rapists and have the potential to do a crime which is what rape is.Lyndsay, female

I think that its shocking that because of the way that women and girls dress we ''appear'' to be wanting to have sex with a guy....The answer to this is no we don't no, we wear what we want like guys get to wear whatever they want basically. I'm an 17 year old girl and I dress differently to other people,but it doesnt mean that I' asking for sex! The way that a woman or girl dresses never means that they want anything from it!Anonymous, female

Nobody is saying that anything excuses rape. Only that it is irresponsible to do things which increase it's chance of occuring when the benefits of said actions clearly do not outweigh the added risk. If a car is stolen, it is very clear that a crime has been committed. If someone is raped, it is word vs word, a much harder situation to evaluate. That is why the potential victims need to take on even more responsibility to prevent it, regardless of their right to wear assless chaps to a party. Men take on similar burdens in the form of precautions that wouldn't be necessary if rape didn't exist. You are looking at the issue as men vs women and asking "Why should women have to do anything? They don't deserve to be raped." This is inefficient and offensive in a convoluted way. However, I think you should be looking at the issue as decent people vs rapists and ask "What can we do to make the world better in regards to rape?" Trust me, men hate rapists as much as you do. It is our girlfriends, wives, mothers, sisters and daughters being raped afterall. This campaign targets non-rapists and tells them it's not ok to rape... will provoke more false claims of rape than it will prevent anything. Think about it.Anonymous, male

I agree with ChrisMhairi Cucki, female

the statistics are so appaling. one in three women (in australia, not sure UK figures) experience violence in their lifetime, the majority experiencing rape, sexual assault, or childhood sexual abuse. Think about it this way: If we had any other public health crisis that threatened to affect one in three of half the world's population - governments would immediately jump into emergency mode, systems would be completely overwhelemed to the point of shut down, and no one would tell the victims "well, it's your fault you got infected by this disease". And yet, when it comes to the sexual violence epidemic, the exact opposite is happening. Governments are taking money away from domestic violence shelters and rape crisis centers, women are being constantly reminded that it is they who are at fault, and many are often ignored by the systems designed to protect them. I have never encountered any other crime that blames the victim for being a victim, so why should rape be any different. Education and awareness campaigns should be supported regardless of the form they take, and this one is no exception. I got onto this cause via your facebook page and I am now inspired to take up the issue and try and get a similar campaign going here. I'm a survivor too (i think that became obvious earlier in my post) and I have had severe run-ins with the sexist re-inforcement of ideas that this campaign seeks to address. More Power to us I say :)Mel from Australia, female

If you are married then of course at some point your partner will expect to have sex with you. This does not give anyone the right to force intercourse on someone, wheather you have been married for 10 years or been in a relationship for 1 day.K., female

I am interested to see that the majority of voices in favour of this website self-identify as female, and that the majority not in favour identify as male. I wonder why? Really, why? What's going on here?Lupie, transgender

Is it just me, or does this whole thing seem to imply that rape only ever happens to women by men? Sexist, much?Alex, female

every girl is intitled to wear what she wishes weather it be an incredibly short skirt and a skin tight top or an ankle length all over dress. the point is we should all be able to live freely without the fear that we could be raped. any man that feels he has the tight to rape a woman becasue of what she is wearing is very wrong they dont have a right at all!E, female

In response to the last comment. No one is saying that young girls should dress in a sexually suggestive manner, it is just the suggestion that someones choice of clothing means the rapist is less responsible for their actions i have problems with. As though treating men like they are animals unable to control themselves in such a scenario is not as demeaning to them as it is to us women. When you see people dressed suggestively you do not think it gives you any right to violate them and neither will other reasonable people. Someone may be naive in dressing scantily and flirting. However if someone is foolish enough to leave their door unlocked one night and a burglar walks in holds them at gunpoint and forces them to hand over their belongings you dont say well as they asked for it he should get a lesser sentence... do you?killerheels, female

How can people blame us woman? If we say no it means no!! It doesnt matter what we wear, it isnt out fault! How people can say its the rape victims fault I dont know! You put yourself in the position of the victim. Would you like to be the one sitting thinking im the one to blame for being raped? I dont think so. Great campaign keep up too good work!! xAnonymous, female

Tom, women can wear what ever the they want to and it's none of your business! Your opinions, as someone who has never had to deal with sexism in your life, are completely irrelevant.Jimmy, male

I feel so angry reading some of the comments from men and women regarding this subject,as i was raped not that long ago and had the courage to report the rape by a so called friend after a night out and have had to deal with threats from his associates as well as other people saying i shouldnt have gone back to his place, etc. i know i am in no way to blame for him taking what he wanted but its comments like what im reading here which makes so many women hesitent about taking the case to the police in the first place. I have suffered severe aggresion levels,post traumatic stress as well as being put on valium to deal with the aftermath of the rape as its not only my body that was raped but my mind and soul as well and i will never be the same person again, a bit of me died that night, oh a ps i was wearing jeans at the time so good on rape crisis for havin the courage to change public perception of rape victims.s, female

For all the people who state that they are offended by the campaign and that it has been executed badly. How would you run it? What issues would you highlight? How would you better it? It is easy to criticise, but you really should state what alternatives you propose! Incidently, there are some very disturbing attitudes towards rape victims on this page. Obviously this campaign is much needed. Well done.Mary, female

Rape is one of the most utterly disgusting things anyone can do to anyone else. I recently had a scare when mg fiance was chased home by some drunk guy. Thankfully she managed to make it home and slam the door in his face just in time. Any perveted guys out there should imagine how it would feel if it was their sister, girlfriend, wife, grandmother or daughter being raped. Even the horror you yourself were beaten and raped by someone. There is never any excuse for it, this campaign needs yet more publicity if anything.H, male

I forgot to respond to one particular comment: "No means not [sic] at all times and you are within your rights to say no before, during or after sex with anyone from the opposite or same sex." Do you mean to imply that if two people have sex, and one of them decides later that they didn't really want to, the act suddenly becomes rape? That's patently ridiculous. What if you and I had sex, and I decided afterwards that I didn't really want to? Now you're a rapist? Give me a break.Jesse, male

please read..you too can have freedom like me. be strong. http://www.northern-scot.co.uk/news/fullstory.php/aid/6795/No_more:_Rape_victim_speaks_out.htmlnicky-elgin, female

I agree that all are myths.. bar one of them!! I have some squibbles with the myth concerning alcohol. I dont believe ANYTHING to be an invitation to be raped, however, I feel that blaming the rape on being drunk is not acceptable because you were not in a fit state to look after yourself due to your own actions and your own mistake of drinking too much. We have too much of a nanny state in the UK and have to start taking responsibility for our own actions. mary, female -thisAnonymous, male

I agree that all are myths.. bar one of them!! I have some squibbles with the myth concerning alcohol. I dont believe ANYTHING to be an invitation to be raped, however, I feel that blaming the rape on being drunk is not acceptable because you were not in a fit state to look after yourself due to your own actions and your own mistake of drinking too much. We have too much of a nanny state in the UK and have to start taking responsibility for our own actions. mary, female -thisDaniel, male

The frustrating point about rape and sexual assault is that it makes you question yourself rather than the attacker question himself. I think it is important that men become more introspective and empathetic with respect to this issue. Unfortunately, I think the anti-rape cause is not a priority for many men.S, female

I have to say that I am disgusted by some of the comments that people have posted. I was raped on holiday. I had put on a nice dress for a night out, and yes, it was a short, perhaps slightly slutty dress, but it was hot. I went out, and after maybe two or three drinks i got talking to a man. I never at any point insinuated that i would have sex with him. Foolishly i let him buy me drinks, and the rest of the evening is a blur. All i remember is waking up terrified and sore the next day. I then had to go through the trauma of flashbacks and HIV tests. So was it the fact that I was drinking that made it acceptable for the b*stard to rape me? Was it the dress? Was it the fact that he put something in my drink? No, it was none of these, I did nothing wrong. But because there are so many negative views towards women in my situation, like those written, I never reported it, thinking I would be laughed out the police station as another stupid british girl. What is being said makes me sick. I don't dress the way I do when I go out to tittilate men, I do it to make myself feel good. I would just like to say that I don't think anyone would be saying it was the person's fault they got raped, whether it was due to alcohol or provocative dress, if they had gone through this hell,. Have a little compassion.Marie, female

I have to say that I am disgusted by some of the comments that people have posted. I was raped on holiday. I had put on a nice dress for a night out, and yes, it was a short, perhaps slightly slutty dress, but it was hot. I went out, and after maybe two or three drinks i got talking to a man. I never at any point insinuated that i would have sex with him. Foolishly i let him buy me drinks, and the rest of the evening is a blur. All i remember is saying no, then waking up terrified and sore the next day. I then had to go through the trauma of flashbacks and HIV tests. So was it the fact that I was drinking that made it acceptable for the b*stard to rape me? Was it the dress? Was it the fact that he put something in my drink? No, it was none of these, I did nothing wrong. But because there are so many negative views towards women in my situation, like those written, I never reported it, thinking I would be laughed out the police station as another stupid british girl. What is being said makes me sick. I don't dress the way I do when I go out to tittilate men, I do it to make myself feel good. I would just like to say that I don't think anyone would be saying it was the person's fault they got raped, whether it was due to alcohol or provocative dress, if they had gone through this hell,. Have a little compassion.Marie, female

I think this website needs to address an issue-there are many people writing that this campaign will not prevent rape. It needs to be clear this campaign is not to prevent rape. It is to change the attitudes towards women who have been raped and change the way they are treated by the law and everyone around them. It is common place for women to treat rape victims as though they were "asking for it", this is not about how men treat women but how society treats them. It also has nothing to do with male rape victims, they face a completely different type of stigma which needs to be addressed in a different campaign. Homosexual rape doesn't have enough research yet for a targetted message like this, until it does, different approaches need to be made than public advertising campaigns.Wade, female

Daniel, are you saying that if a person happens to be drunk (be it male or female) and they get raped, then they just have to accept this and the rapist is excused? Then that would really be a nanny state. It would be a green light for potential rapists to act with impunity while being offered complete protection. You say you do not believe anything to be an invitation to rape? Well, that is clearly not the case. Most people have gotten hammered at some stage in their lifes, even you I would imagine. Yes, it's a bit silly, but it happens. If you were sexually assualted or raped while you had been drunk, would you just accept it as collateral damage and forget about it?Mary, female

Dear Daniel, this is as much to protect men as women , the sad truth is there is such a thing as facilitated sexual assualt, where a perp. will target a woman due to the amount of alcohol she has drunk, which in turn makes her less able to physically resist, makes her confused and dsiorientated, this is used against her to commit the crime. A woman is more at risk from assualt if she has drunken too much but having said that the blame lies on the perp, a woman should be allowed to drink as much as a man if she chooses to do so and visa versa, however whether you like it or not when it comes down to the lega definition of consent, capacity to consent is an essential element...having worked in the medical profession, i wouldnt dream of saying that a patient had the capacity to consent to an operation if he or she was intoxiacted. It is against the law to use alcohol to render a person helpless to the point they are unable to fight back.....it isnt about blaming anyone for being srunk it is about not allowing people to take advantage of a person who is rendered incapacitated....it is no different from date rape drugs, in fact alcohol is the most commonly used date rape drug that is used to facilitate an assault that is pre-medited.polka, female

Dear Daniel, this is as much to protect men as women , the sad truth is there is such a thing as facilitated sexual assualt, where a perp. will target a woman due to the amount of alcohol she has drunk, which in turn makes her less able to physically resist, makes her confused and dsiorientated, this is used against her to commit the crime. A woman is more at risk from assualt if she has drunken too much but having said that the blame lies on the perp, a woman should be allowed to drink as much as a man if she chooses to do so and visa versa, however whether you like it or not when it comes down to the legal definition of consent, capacity to consent is an essential element...having worked in the medical profession, i wouldnt dream of saying that a patient had the capacity to consent to an operation if he or she was intoxiacted. It is against the law to use alcohol to render a person helpless to the point they are unable to fight back.....it isnt about blaming anyone for being drunk it is about not allwoing people to take advantage of a person who is rendered incapacitated....it is no different from date rape drugs, in fact alcohol is the most commonly used date rape drug that is used to facilitate an assault that is pre-medited.polka, female

What is the point in showing your cleavage if you don't want male attention? I've seen women with their breasts basically hanging out and then get offended when people look at them. So ridiculous.Lisa, female

This campaign has done a fantastic job of provoking debate and therefore awareness of some very big and under discussed issues in our society. The comments (predominantly from males) who say that this campaign is sexist may like to look again at the posters- especially those showing couples. The posters don't label which person is saying or thinking "this is not an invitation to rape me". Any non-consenting sex is rape, these posters show situations where some people might think otherwise but they don't say "the woman in this image might be raped by the man" simply that "rape could happen in this situation". It is interesting that some people have automatically victimised the female character in these images. I think the campaign proves it's importance by being able to question our attitudes towards a horrific crime and also the everyday issues of the "women as object" view many people in this society still hold.Anonymous, female

The most shocking and upsetting (although, given the dominance of men in our society, not surprising) aspect of this issue for me has been the level to which so many women I have spoken have assimilated the excuses men use for their behaviour. As with any problem, early and effective education of both boys and girls, men and women, is imperative if we are to have any success in changing a culture that bows to the primacy of the individual and their wants (please note - wants, not needs).Dan, male

As a person who has been raped twice by a stranger and by a boyfriend, I have been desperate to hear someone else get angry and start to act against the tacit acceptance there is of rape myths in society, the media and the courtroom. When I have told people about the appalling rates of rape conviction, without exception, they are shocked. The question always comes up why is no-one raising this as an issue? Why are MPs not asking questions about it in the Commons? Why is it not on the front of our newspapers? We have accepted for too long anti rape campaigns or police statements urging women not to walk alone at night and not focussing on changing the attitudes or behaviours of perpetrators. Keep up the excellent work.Anon, female

Here's what I've learned from my rape. A lot of men say all the right things ("It's not your fault." "Nobody deserves to be raped.") But when you come home to a man after you've been raped and beaten, don't expect him to practice what he preached. He thinks you caused the rape. He thinks you could have gotten away. He thinks you didn't say no. He thinks you wanted it and then felt guilty afterwards. Worst of all, he thinks you're going to accuse him of rape (because apparently, you do that to everyone you sleep with). And unfortunately, neither of you will know this until you're in the situation. My husband would have been in the offended/supportive comments--until it happened to me. I fought. I said no. I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and a jacket. I had half a drink with a coworker I'd known for years. He told me he could kill me if he wanted to. He told me he knew what I wanted better than I did. He raped me. And he still doesn't think he raped me. And neither does my ex-husband. I don't care how awesome or how highly evolved you are. Either think about it because you see an ad, or think about it when it happens to someone you love. Because trust me, if you care about more than half a dozen women (your mom, sisters, friends, etc.), you're probably going to find out what you really think. Unless she's too scared to tell you because you say things like, "It's a sad fact, but if you leave your wallet on the bar, you know someone's going to take it." Then she'll probably just go through it alone. Nice job.K, female

The point of this site is only 6% of reported rapes result in conviction in England, only 3% in Scotland and part of the reason why is because people (including jury members) blame the victim like they do in no other crime. Before anyone starts saying it's because they're making it up; research has shown that only approx 2% of rape claims are false (no higher than any other crime.) The fact is that one in three women will experience sexual assault or rape in their lifetimes. Before saying a woman is to blame, recognise that among your mother, your sister or your female friends, you will already know women who have been raped but they may not have told you.Salvia, female

I appreciate this effort. Here in the US, it is the state that brings the criminal charge of rape. The victim is considered a witness and the defense is free to do all it can to impugn her testimony. I don't know about worldwide laws but this is patently unfair.Audrey, female

Thank you thank you thank you. I saw Rape Crisis and they helped me come through the most difficult thing I've ever known. I can only echo above comments about talking to them if you are a survivor - they will never ever make you do anything you don't want to - they absolutely will help. Again, thanks for this campaign. I hope one day we won't need it, but right now, as many of the comments here show, we do.Becky, female

Young girls, drunk and wearing skimpy clothes... "This Is Not an Invitation to Rape Me" ... I beg to differPokerStoker, male

Isn't interesting that most of the comments places here by men are negative!?! Like it or not this is the true reality of the world we now live in..the stats say it all!! I have been workig with young women for 10 years and will be using this as a resource next week in our programme. Parents should be doing this with their children as well as presenting clear boundaries for life.TJ FRAME, female

Hey Justin, there is no such thing as an invitation to rape but unfortunately many men and women seem to believe otherwise.Ashley, female

I think this is a great site. I am appaled by the some of the responses! But not surprised, so many people put the blame on the victim. I think this campain is brilliant because it is trying to stop the victim being blamed. RAPE IS THE ONLY CRIME IN WHICH THE VICTIM GETS THE BLAME. No not in any single of this situations is it ok to rape someone. itis never ok. and the sooner people realise this the better. I know it is not going to stop the rapists but at least it may ease the victims guilt. I have seen some a comment here that rape is more common if the woman is wearing perocative clothing. I don't think this is true, stranger rape maybe but I don't think so, as you may know that is only 8% of rapes. I was raped wearing my school uniform, I was raped wearing karate suit, I was raped wearing a hoody and a tracksuit pants (yes all by the same person) but yet when I was wearing an extreamly short mini skirt and a revealing top I wasn't So do I think that you have to be wearing something sexy to be raped NO. A woman should be aload wear anything she wants, and not have to fear that she will be raped, its a disgrace. Although I do believe this campain should not just focus on the rape of woman by men! what about the rape of men by woman? or woman by woman? Its also a common myth that these can't happen! well anyway I think thats enough of my rant!Cathy, female

Fantastic Site, - Guys should understand when the word No is used it means NO, regardless of what they have just been upto, how they percieve a situation, how a woman is dressed or even if they are married to someone, NO means NO - it's not a difficult word to understand is it?.Andy, male

- Rape is defined as unwanted sex. Legally, the word 'no' also means 'stop', and if you can't say 'no' because you're drunk or unconscious, it still doesn't mean 'yes' - if that were the case, date rape would technically be legal, and we all know that All Rape is Wrong. As for "No means no at all times and you are within your rights to say no before, during or after sex with anyone from the opposite or same sex." - this is innacurately worded, so let me explain the "after" bit, the way I understand it. The majority of rapes are commited by a person known to the victim, and many by a current or previous partner. What is meant by 'saying no after sex' is that by having sex Once, you Don't automatically agree to have sex Every Time the other person wants to. Is that clear?Citlalli, female

It's depressing reading all these comments about the woman's 'responsibility' to 'protect herself' from rape. So far most education on sexual assault / rape has centered around self defense and how to protect yourself. This paticular campaign focuses on the RAPIST, or the potential rapist. That's why it's so great (: (By the way, over 90% of rapes are against women, and 99% of rapes are commited by men. Surprise? Without devaluing the experiences of male-by-female rape victims, considering female rape is by far the most common type it only makes sense to focus on it.) @ Jesse: No, I'm pretty sure it means that if you were unable to consent at the time you can still consider it rape and report it as such after it has happened. I do think that the campaign needs to focus more on other causes of rape such as power issues, male domination issues etc. which are the more common causes of rape / sexual violence.Katy, female

I think this is an important campaign for men and women. It's shocking how many people still think that a drunk woman 'deserved' to get raped, and those attitudes come from men and from women. It's important as well that women realise they always, always have the right to say no, no matter what. I had sex with a man once, when I didn't want to, because I felt that I'd led him on. He didn't rape me, because I never told him I didn't want to do it, but it made me feel awful. I knew I could have said no, but I felt like I couldn't after I'd left the club with him. If campaigns like this can stop women from having that same experience, it can only be a good thing.Hannah, female

You make it seem as if all men think about when they see a woman is raping her...You, obviously, need to reevaluate your opinions. Alot of the time, yes, it is the guy that's to blame in the situation, but, as much is it may pain you to hear, sometimes women DO dress scantily to bother men. I'm not just saying that to say it, I was raised by my mother and her friends and I have many female friends(Which, according to you, I want nothing more than to rape) who have told me that they do this. So be sure to check your facts before you lump all men into one easily-defined demographic...Kinser, male

I don't believe that men can't control themselves when they become aroused. And if that is the case, they need to go and get help. My *dog* can start going at it in the street with another dog, but he stops if we order him to get away from her. If a dog can do it, a human being ought to be able to.Smudge, female

I thought I'd point out that many women posting here will be rape victims and so will have come here because they've heard about this site through a survivor network. Men visiting this site either will have heard from the same route because of friends / partners or being attacked themselves. The other men on here who have posted abusive, shocking comments, either remembered the website from the ads (unlikely) or searched online for "rape". I'd be a bit cautious webmaster on keeping some of the comments on here. I was raped by a stranger and by an ex boyfriend. I reported the stranger but there was no point reporting the ex because I knew it would only be my word against his. I wonder if all of the people saying women should not dress skimpily would think it was ok if on a hot day when loads of men walk around without tops on if they were raped? The fact is, very few rapes happen by strangers and when they do they are normally maticulously planned. I was stalked. I could have been wearing a pantomime horse costume the day he chose to rape me, it wouldn't have stopped him. This is an epidemic of truely shocking proportions. I agree, not all men are rapists, I am married to one who certainly isn't but not all juries are fair either. If the conviction rate in the UK for murder was 5.6%, there would be questions in parliament.Parvana, female

Firstly I believe the campaign to be a very positive step towards raising awareness. However it seems a little dated in suggesting that only woman are rape victims. Men can also be raped and just because it is not reported to the same degree female rape is does not mean it doesnt exist. Where is the support for male rape victims? Whilst it is great to see steps towards cracking down on rape crimes towards woman, the campaign still lacks capacity and openness to raise awareness of male rape. Perhaps another campaign should be established for males???Graeme, male

I'm somehow unsurprised that most of the negative comments on this page are for men - the majority of whom will never have to deal with innocuous decisions such as what kind of underwear to put on or who to dance with on a night out being turned against them after something as devestating as rape or sexual assualt. Additionally, if the message behind these posters were as 'common sense' as we all wish they were, then I doubt the numbers of women raped by friends, familly members, acquaintances and romantic/sexual partners would be so horrifically high.Suz, female

Well, it's like what that person said, if you flash hundreds of pounds about and parade that you have it it IS likely to get stolen. So if you are some 14 year old girl wearing a neon pink tutu, pink hold ups, a thong and a bra at 4am and your walking down a dark street alone and pissed out your head you ARE more LIKELY to get raped. I don't agree with rape of course, and I do think attitudes need to change, but you should be sensible and not think that just because it's "you" you'll be ok. Don't be stupid. Of course no one can predict the future but at least try and protect yourself a bit!Sarah, female

If you dress like a tart and are so drunk you can barely walk you are more likely to be raped. Fact. I never said it was ok by the way.Nottellingyoumyname, female

*bangs head off table* Why, why, WHY don't they get this?? The ads aren't aimed at those who would not rape, they are aimed at those who would discount a woman's protests based on the fact of her appearance/behaviour/level of intoxication. If this doesn't apply to you, brilliant! You're a wonderful, shining example of how an individual should behave! But what about the person who comes along five minutes after you? What if they WOULD??? Can you account for them? Can you look into their face and say "Oh, no, this person would never do something like that!" Think, for God's sake! And remember, next time you go getting your panties in a twist over this "insult", IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!Jez, female

Justin, way to miss the point. The whole reason behind the ad campaign is to show that women who dress "shockingly" (in your opinion) are seen by much of society as asking to be raped - even though she's just wearing what might be comfortable to her or simply feels good to her.Judith R., female

Wow.. I have just started to read the comments and am disgusted with the so-called 'men' who have left comments, bar apart one guy. All the men seem to think this is funny, and are joking about it or even condoning rape, then laughing about it. The cries of "sexist", although they have a slither of truth just undermine the whole campaign. I fully acknowledge that men have been sexually attacked and abused by women and it should be in no way insignificant compared to sexual attacks on women. It must be horrific. But lets face facts, that it is women who suffer the most from such terrible crimes and women who must be 'careful' to avoid it. The disgusting comments about women having to stop being attacked by taking precautions, etc - why are you blaming the victim? It is the RAPIST and the attacker who should be blamed. I feel absolutely appalled at the state of these, and I repeat, SO CALLED men who have left such shocking, horrid comments about women. I always knew being female disadvantaged me, but the attitude modern men have (according to the comments here, though I remain hopeful and optimistic for the men in the real world) show feminism has such a long, hard fight ahead for true equality. No wonder rape is so badly reported and convicted. It is a disgrace to our so called liberal, modern country. Women have to live by such terrible double standards, and be spoken about and treated like men on here... I really don't know what to say. Apart from I hope you are never subject to any kind of sexual attack or rape, and your Mothers, sisters, daughters, Aunties aren't either. :(Alex, female

yea, ok, but showing a lot of skin is an invitation to lookJack, male

It saddens me that this campaign even needs to exist. All people should take responsibility for their actions, stop making excuses. Rape is an experience that varies with each person (I refuse to use the term victim) & this campaign does not address any rapes that do not fall into the above categories. Women are not vulnerable & men are not predators, think again about what you believe. Ask yourself, what is a rape? It is not just about sex - it's the overpowering of an individual. Let's look at the background, before we start painting a picture.N, female

Good job on the site, I have been working for a rape crisis centre and they talked about this campaign, I don't see anythng sexist or wrong about it at all. The only thing is that I do think more awareness of the issue needs to be raised when it comes to sexual crimes against men. But even rapes against women barely get convicted and the conviction rate for same-sex sexual assault (for either gender) must be even lower so we still have a long way to go. I am very disappointed at most of the comments on the site. It is depressing that some people still hold these attitudes!rach, female

This campaign is 100% correct in what it says. There is never an excuse for non consensual sex. That said, I can't see the campaign changing a thing. Rather than worrying about the conviction rate a campaign to try to protect women by informing them of how they can minimise the risk of rape (don't wear provocative clothes, make sure you know someone before you live with them) is (I believe) the most effective approach. That may not be fair but it is pragmatic. Sadly, this issue won't go away just because the campaign chastises those very few men who are prepared to commit such a terrible crime.Mike, male

Militant-feminist crap. The tone and language used in this website demonise men; rape is irreconcilible with any decent moral code but this ultra-feminist claptrap is offensive in nature and doesn't actually get to the root of the problem, it only finger-points. By the way, recent statistics show that most drink-spike related rapings are male-on-male. Research the facts before going all-out as this website does.Anon., male

As a child I was molested, and as a teen I was pressured/coerced. In college, I was stalked by a stranger once and by a friend's husband another time. As a teen, I was physically abused by a boyfriend. As a coping mechanism, at some point in my life, I began to fear being attractive. I am free from that now, however, it is something that took lots of prayer and therapy to get over. I am so glad to see what you are doing to help women and girls. Keep up the great work!Donna, female

Those men here crying "U R demonizing ALL MEN!!!", defensive much?? If you're really against rape, male or female, you would not feel threatened by this campaign because the message it carries is nothing new to you. There is no way to interpret this message as "all men are rapists", that's all in your head. Please grow up.Ninny, female

No means NO!One who knows...., female

I think it's appaling that just because, a woman may be under the influance of alcohol does not mean that it wouldn't be classed as rape if she was in that situation! It makes me sick thinking that people can get away with doing something like this!Charlotte, female

RAPE IS WRONG every right thinking person of whatever gender believes this unalterable fact.the problems occurs when worthy sites such as this one allow itself to be hijacked by people who are only intent on pushing their point of view.i cannot even begin to imagine the physical and emotional trauma that the rape VICTOMS have gone through but until the attitudes of both male and females are united against rape there will be more.you will observe that i place the blame evenly on those people who hold views that only distract from what i believe is the aim of this site. my point of view is simple RAPE IS A CRIME CARRIED OUT BY PERVERTS ON PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT CONSENTED TO SEX. there are no circumstances that will change thisg, male

What a great campaign! I'm a volunteer rape crisis counselor in the US, and even victims internalize the horrible 'blaming' mentality. Men should not feel defensive- the vast majority of men are not rapists. A small percentage of all men are predatory rapists, and if GOOD men help women protect themselves by changing cultural attitudes about rape, men and women can more freely co-exist as human beings. Good luck and good work!Kate, female

The comments from many of the men above are why I've stopped dating men. You guys go ahead and call it "surprise sex" all you want, but when you surprise me, be expected to have your ass hauled to court on rape charges, you fucking rapist.Giana, female

What most of the men above fail to understand is it doesn't matter what a woman wears, where is is or at what point in the sexual activity she decides she doesn't want to go any further - once a woman says "NO!" or "STOP!" or "LEAVE ME ALONE!" and you keep going and penetrate any part of her body, then dude, you are raping her. The campaign is an excellent idea and challenges stereotypes that allow men to blame women for their selfish and aggressive refusal to leave women alone when a woman demands or requests it. No woman can "lead a man on" because he decides how far he is going to go and what he is going to do after she says "NO!" or "STOP" or "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Instead of women exercising caution about where they go and when and how they are dressed, how about men just keep their hands and other body parts to themselves and leave women and children alone?Deborrah Cooper, female

And just what gives women the right to dress like whores? I don't care how superficial it is, we judge people by the way they dress. We assume a cop is a cop because of his uniform; we don't ask to see his badge, etc... every time.Pro-modesty woman, female

Brilliant campaign - go worldwide. Then get the message out there - that rapists are sick and need treatment. However so does our culture - sexual honesty and open communication on sexual issues from puberty on would, I feel greatly reduce the ignorance, craving - and frustration that are a factor towards creating the conditions for rape to happen. There is nothing shameful, sinful or dirty about sex - it is like food, something we need. Who has been spreading these ideas about sex? Discuss!Rupadarshin (Buddhist), male

Thank you for putting this out there. It helps after hearing so many people say "You kind of put yourself in that situation." Glad to see people bring and intelligent perspective here. I shouldn't have to shut myself up because some rapist can't control himself.Amanda, female

As a male I can see why many men aggressively defend accused rapists and may leave negative comments on sites as this. The psyche of forced intercourse occurs naturally through out the animal kingdom and sadly so too in human beings. It is in the ability of a man to resits these urges and live in a civilised society with rules that separates him from the beasts.Annon, male

I thought rape was about power and control. What's having a nice figure and dressing sexily got too do with it. Now is it about power and control or sex? I'm confused.James, male

Rape in any shape or form is an affront to human dignity.Phil, male

Is a predator that has means of opportuinity more likly too attack a woman dressed "sexily" with a "nice figure" as she puts it, as he is too attack a woman not displaying a"nice figure" or dressed "sexily".You seem too be advocating that rape will be more likely too occur based on how a woman is dressed. If rape is not about sex, why is the manner in which she is dressed important at all.JJ, male

I was 14 and wearing my school uniform when I was raped. I am very sorry if my clothing was far to provocative. I'm now too SCARED to go out and get drunk, wear revealing clothing or get anywhere near men. That is the kind of damage that rape really does. I'm VERY sorry if all you patriachal critics feel that I did not sufficiently protect myself from being raped. The man was never prosecuted. Other people since then have found out and said it must have been MY fault because "things like that don't happen unless you ask for it". THAT is the kind of opinion this campaign challenges. If this could have stopped those people telling me it was my fault, that I was a filthy whore. It would probably have kept me from trying to take my own life 2 years later.T, female

I'm apaulled at some of the comments left on here! This campaign isn't about portaying ALL men as potential rapists, it's about raising awareness and trying to remove the stigma and ignorance surrounding rape and sexual crimes. NO-ONE but no-one deserves or asks for rape, regardless of gender, race, age, clothing, level of intoxication, intimacy of relationship. Rape and sexual crimes destroy lives. To some of the males who have commented...how would you feel if it was your sister, daughter, partner? Would you blame them? Would you look at them, curled in a heap, trembling, agrophobic, numb, terrified to be touched, unable to sleep due to flash-backs, self-harming and trying to take her life and say she deserved it? I think not! As the victim and survivor of a sexual assault earlier this year, I can say that it has destroyed the past 7mths of my life. I blamed myself for walking home alone, somehting I've done hundreds of times...does that mean I deserved it? I shouldn't have had a few drinks with friends. Did I deserve it? I shouldn't have been wearing that long hippy skirt & hoodie...not revealling in the slightest! Did I deserve it? Did I deserve to feel humiliated; ashamed; guilty; that I was to blame somehow? NO! My weak and cowardice assailant came up behind me, I was unable to give any visual description or get him prosecuted. Not knowing my attacker scared me when I went out anywhere, every man was a potential attacker...was I standing next to him in a shop, on a bus etc? It became so bad I spiralled into depression, I self harmed and tried to take my own life. Does ANYONE deserve to go through this? Many victims don't come forward because of the narrow-mindedness and stereotypes inflicted upon them by society's ignorance. The ONLY person to blame in any sexual crime is the one committing it. This campaign is here to help change the stigma's and misconceptions regarding all sexual crimes and it should be regarded as a positive step.Lemur, female

This is a wonderful campaign. Thank you so much.Elly, female

I'm shocked and saddened that after all the increase in women's rights and the decrease of a once phallocentric society, the percentage of people who believed the ridiculous, totally unfounded myths is, on average, a third of the population or higher. Where are all these stupid lies coming from?Anne, female

i am a trans woman and a huge fan of your work just wish we had something like it state side. plus it should be known that somewhere around 50-60% of trans woman are the victim of a sexual crime. i am so for raising awareness that it isn't the victims fault and that the court systems around the world need to do a better job of protecting womans rights with our own bodies.sophia, female

A shocking and upsetting site, but totally needed considering the attitudes towards women and rape. All too often in my line of work I see women who have had to confront the effects of these myths in court. Keep going with the good work.Ken, male

I have added link to www.teenboundaries.co.uk and will use images in schools.Leonie Hodge, female

I don't think any woman should be raped for what they wear, but in saying that do woman really need to wear skirts that just about cover there private parts and tops that show more skin than covering it and all this in the winter when the temperature is near the minus degrees. It may look good but men in winter dress accordingly to the cold and still look good so maybe we should be asking why do woman wear clothes like that, it's not to keep themselfs warm thats for sure!!!Stuart, male

As a woman who has been raped and has supported other women and girls who have found themsleves to be in the same situtation, I have to say I am shocked by some of the comments that have been made with regards to rape and how a woman is dressed on this site. For all of you who think that a woman/girl deserves what she gets becasue of the way she dresses or behaves, I really hope you never have to deal with the aftermath of rape when it is your mother, sister, wife, daughter, friend. The one thing that got me through was the fact that my Dad, my brothers and male friends all offered support. They are aware. I only wish everyone else's male relatives and friends have the same level of awareness. I have also supported men/boys who have been raped so I am aware of the issues that they face. The only definite thing that can be said about rape is that it is about power. The rapist wants power over the person they are raping. It is NOT about sex. Everybody who cares about another human being should be declaring "Rape is wrong" no matter what.Annie, female

Several comments express this idea: "what gives women the right to dress like whores? ... we judge people by the way they dress." The point is that dress has NOTHING TO DO with why men rape, and it is never a reason or excuse to touch someone who says No, at any point in an interaction. I generally dress "modestly" -- it's my choice, and I wish that so many girls and women did not succumb to the insane pressure (esp. in American large cities) to dress sexily. But that is an entirely different issue than rape. It's not THAT hard to understand, is it? The campaign doesn't tell women to dress sexy, get drunk, stay out late and dry hump on every date. The message is that IF a woman does that, she is not giving consent to sex. And so if someone DOES force sex against her expressed wishes, it is rape. Criminal and abusive and damaging behavior. People have GOT to stop judging a woman's behavior. Why bring that up in the context of a crime? Are you saying rape is the PUNISHMENT for dressing like every celebrity, singer, model, etc? Since when are rapists in charge of doling out punishment? That's some pretty sick Dark Ages sh*t when you really look at it. Leave our clothes out of the issue!Mars, female

Nothing gives anybody the right too rape a woman . She says she likes to dress "sexily" sometimes. Why would this entice someone too rape her if rape has nothing too do with sex?usa, male

"He is blighted by what his noble birth affords....thus fortune smiles upon those who own the land, and frown at trivia from the dabbler's hand." Many men on here are missing the point, because of their priveledge, they are simply...unaware of the realities inherent in the life of women. Consent and desire are powerful forces, and we ALL, men and women, have to deal with the impulse to take what we want regardless of the consequences. Every man I've ever known has at one time bought into some misogynist, rape-minimizing view, and were often surprised to realize it. Every man I have ever known has at some point violated a boundary their partners set for them. Does this make them evil rapists without hope of reform? No, of course not. Many of them are incredibly good men who were victims of what their status afforded them: an unquestioning view of the accepted myths surrounding sex. In this way, the campaign is very successful. Frankly though, I don't find this campaign's images to be shocking at all. How exactly is this campaign disrespectful to men? You are not "all rapists". But, according to the surveys, a dangerously high percentage of you believe that there are some circumstances in which it is ok to rape someone. Having been through college, I'm not surprised by that statistic at all. I hope I am never raped, for not only will the experience itself be traumatizing, but I will be examined from every possible angle to see whether or not I "deserved it", and based on the courts findings (which are based entirely on these misogynistic beleifs) my rapist may get off relatively lightly.Celine, female

This is a great site, I'd love to use the posters on my own college campus to raise awareness and to empower both men and women! Keep up the good work!Katie, female

thankyou for this campaign. Seriously... As someone who has been raped more times than I can even count and blaimed for most of them by family to the point where they have now disowned me... I know the importance of this campaign and appload you for this websiteshadowlight, female

To "Justin, male", your description of the image as "almost pornographic" is part of the problem. Women don't have to choose their clothing to suit anyone's desire to be (un)titillated. We want to wear our clothes because we want to, period. Men aren't chastised for flashing "too much" chest. They can, in fact, go topless without fear of harassment. But women cannot share that freedom, because our bodies are not the neutral default of men's bodies. In the heterosexist view of the male gaze, women's bodies are sex incarnate. Hence the myth of "short skirt = consent."Meghan, female

Of the many female friends I've had in my life, only one of them seems to have not been the target of some form of sexual assault. Keep up the good work! People need to be aware of this!Dan M., male

I was born in a country where the situation is the same as in Scotland-there's a lot of stigma attached to women who have been rape victims. However, the society also has a backfire stigma-a man even remotely suspected or ever implicated of rape is finished-professionally, socially, personally. Society views rapists as a life form slightly higher than infuzorias. I think promoting THAT view might actually decrease the number of rapes.Society 21 century, female

I love this site but its a little annoying that men seem to think its all down to woman 'protecting' themselves. Rape is an act of over-powering and forced control. I was a glamour model and was raped by a man in the same industry but the fact that he had seen me in my underwear was nothing to do with why he raped me, and me exposing myself in that way wasn't 'asking for it' in anyway what so ever. Woman should be able to conduct themselves in whatever way they choose without fearing that some sick rapist has intentions of attacking them. If men want sex they know what to do and thats usually come on to the girl.. not beat them up and force sex. I was also drunk when it happened but just because I was having a good time and let my guard down doesn't excuse the offenders behaviour, and I hate how some people in society think it does. Well done to this campayne.. keep up the good work! xKayleigh, female

I'm very worried by the comments some men are making on this site. Not all men think that way. Women aren't ever 'responsible' for being raped. It's scary that there are such backwards opinions still about in the 21st century. Good luck with the campaign.Harry, male

What about gay men in Scotland or men in general as well?Naufal Khan, male

Very nice site!alexc264, male

I am a victim of this and for the last 3 and a half years my life has been turned upside down the fact that I cannot do anything about it and I have to work with the person makes it so so much worse. I am pregant and with recent things that have happened I am more than surprised both I and my pregnancy have survived. The self blame and loathing are indescrible this past 3 and a half years. i have a great husband but cannot even speak to him about it.Sue, female

To those who disagree with parts of the campaign and say the women shown in those photos behave in a bad way - even if you believe women shouldn't be sexually provocative, their 'bad behaviour' does not justify rape! I understand that a man may want to have sex with a woman who dresses provocatively and flirts with him. That's fine. It's fine if he makes sexual advances towards her. I don't understand why he'd want to have sex with that woman while she's crying and telling him to stop, or why he'd want to physically restrain her so he can have sex with her against her will. That's not normal, and it's not right.Cat, female

Obviously women should be able to wear what they want, when they want, where they want without fear. Similarly men should be able to do the same. However, ignoring the ideological view, I would not walk through some of the less salubrious areas of any big city wearing a Rolex and heavy gold neck chain at 2am. I ought to be able to, but the reality is that I would be "asking for it". Sorry, but it's the same for women.John Baker, male

Thank you for standing up for whats right.chiquta, female

To the men who claim to be 'insulted' by the manner in which this campaign 'demonises all men' as rapists- first of all where does it actually say that 'all men are rapists'? And really, it is not men who are being demonised here - it is the act of rape itself which is being targetted. And sadly, yes, 99% of rapes are committed by men, so even if it were the case that this campaign targets men specifically (which anybody with half a brain can see is clearly not the case), should it not be that demographic which is targetted by campaigns, such as this, in order to raise awareness about the widely held prejudices and myths that frequently dominate the discourse that surrounds discussion on rape? But in any case, this campaign is aimed at both males and females in which negative 'victim blaming' attitudes regarding victims of rape mannifest themselves. I think it is really interesting that by merely acknowledging and calling out rape for what it really is, men claim to be 'insulted'. If you find that insulting, trust me, you wouldn't survive a day as a female. What about the tens, and possibly hundreds of media pieces which countless women (and men) encounter on a daily baisis, that dehumanise them as passive, vulnerable, seductive objects of desire, baisically ready for the taking? Or so called 'women's' magazines, which rage war on literally every inch of every womens/girls bodies, telling them they are intrinsinctly imperfect and must not be seem in public unless they modify themselves in some way to make themselves presentable? How's that for 'insulting'?Anon, female

This is incredible. There should be huge billboards of these across the country, the world even. People aren't simply told not to rape enough.Hattie, female

Wonderful campaign! I see some find the linking of wedding photos to rape unsettling, but isn't that the point? Rape--no matter who the perpetrator, no matter what prior relationship between the rapist and the victim--is and should be unsettling. As a survivor of (repeated) marital rape, I feel that my pain is validated here. Keep up the good work. Changing people's attitudes is a step toward changing people's behaviors.Susie, female

Excellent, well thought out, and well presented, campaign. I wish you every much-deserved success with it.Tehomet, female

I am so impressed with this campaign. It's a shame there is no equivalent in England. Thank you, and well done!Emma, female

The comments here have made me angry, sad and pretty scared to be honest. I found it really hard to believe that, in this day and age, people still think that a woman is in some way to blame if she's raped - which is complete and utter rubbish. Why would anyone ever 'ask for' forced sex with a sad, twisted, woman-hating individual? The campaign's absolutely great, by the way. Please keep up the good work.Dawn, female

The comments from many of the men on here are very, very worrying. I wonder if it's because they just really can't imagine how bad rape is and how often it leads to suicidal feelings. If they have actually read the comments made by some of the woman above who have been raped, and still went onto post the flippant and insulting comments, I imagine they're the kind of men who think forcing a woman to have sex is fine. We should try not to engage with them - their opinions are sadly not going to be changed by this website. They're clearly very damaged. On to another point, I agree that it would be sensible for women not to get so drunk they can't look after themselves, but most people have drank too much on the odd occasion - including men. If I see a girl who is really drunk and obviously unable to look after herself I worry for her safety and try to help her get home. I can't believe some men look at her and either think she would be an easy target or that if she does get raped then it's her own fault. I absolutely can't believe other women agree. It just seems like a really nasty and vindictive attitude. I was in a bar on holiday and saw a girl passed out on a pool table. A group of men where sexually assaulting her while everyone else seemed to think it was funny. I almost got attacked by the men when I pulled them off her and demanded the bar staff help me take her out of their. Everyone seemed to think it was just some fun and that it was her fault for passing out. But in reality it was basically gang rape with a huge audience. The thing is most of these people will go on to have children. I wonder if they would think it was fine for men to rape their daughters because she over-indulged one night? Actually the worrying thing is that they probably would. And for the record, I don't like this campaign very much. I think it's far too tame. I think a much harder hitting version would have been spending the money on tv ads showing a woman getting dressed up, going out and maybe even going home with a guy. And then showing the reality of what rape looks like. I think part of the problem is people think it's just being coerced a bit and don't have the imagination to realise just how terrible it actually is.Michelle, female

I'm glad this campaign is going on. I cannot believe we still live in such a dated society, where what you wear is scrutinised is court cases. What century are we living in?! Double standards doesn't even begin to describe it. Young girls are often pressured by classmates to lose their virginity & act more sexual than they feel like at a very young age, but the years later they could find themselves being judged for wearing perfectly normal clothing, or, god forbid, actually enjoying sex! It would still be the same if we all wore burkas! Was a tiny bit of her hair showing? Did her burka cling to sightly to her body that day? It's always focused on the woman. For me the lawers using these clothing arguments are as vile as the rapists themselves. I would like to know if they would honestly blame their own daughter for her rape if she wasn't wearing full length trousers?! What kind of message is this sending out? Rape is ok, so long as she is wearing this or that!?Arty, female

Some of the comments on here (Hamed I'm talking to you) show that this campaign is much needed - attitudes need to change. I cannot believe in 2010 some people believe that if a woman is wearing certain clothes she is to blame for being violently attacked. If an attractive man was out and about and drunk and had passed out and, say, got raped by someone, would you think its his fault?Ratty, female

So many of you guys have bought into the outdated myth that women always or usually get raped when they are wearing revealing clothing. Statistically, in fact, women are more likely to be raped when they are wearing body-concealing clothing, and a significant percentage of rapes occur in the victim's home. (Look it up.) Please educate yourselves instead of spreading stupidity. Also, the aim of this campaign is clearly much more than just reminding men not to rape women. The obvious goal is to change the attitudes of the general public toward the victims of rape, and to help end our culture of victim-blaming.EJ, female

I am a firm believer in this campaign, and I will continue to wear whatever I want wherever I go. However, on multiple occasions when this subject matter was brought up to a group of friends, they brought up a very interesting idea that I wanted to throw out into the crowd. In an area that is predominantly known to be heavily populated by the Crip gang, would wearing red be a good idea? I see the connection that my friends are trying to make, however I do not agree with the correlations. I just wanted to see what other people thought about that comparison, because I do think it is a very good one. People, males and females, have absolutely 100% right to wear whatever the hell they please when they go wherever the hell they please, but are there some places where maybe you should think about who will be around you at that gathering and possibly dress accordingly, just out of safety?shatrieka, female

I was raped 3 years past. police where involved but nothing came of it. i was treated like a whore and that i was in the wrong at the police station, i was humiliated, fored to stripped knacked. what was the point of reporting it??lauren, female

I don't think men truly understand what this campaign is about. Of course men are raped too, and this is no less worse or worse than women being raped. And of course, not all men are rapists. But as a man, have any of you ever had the fear of walking down a street in broad daylight alone? I, a fifteen year old girl am afraid to leave my own house by myself at any time of the day, because of the frightening idea of being raped. Every day walking home from school I am scared to cross paths with a man or men. This is the kind of fear NOBODY, man or woman should have to be put through. And I also happen to wear short skirts, because I feel as a feminist and free young woman I should be allowed to enjoy feeling pretty, and having nice legs. So what if you can see my undershirt beneath my school top? so what if I wear short skirts with stockings underneath? I should be allowed to look how I want and feel how I want. Do men have to worry about wearing too short clothes or showing off too much skin? No. And they shouldn't. Neither should women!Allison, female

Why are so many men against this campaign?? Women are bombarded with messages telling them where/when/how to travel, how to act. Rape is penetration with a penis. Therefore 100 PERCENT OF PERPERTRATORS ARE MALE!!!! And 10% of victims are also male.... So why is it treated as a woman's issue?? Infuriating. MEN! It's your responsibility to end rape. Speak out about it so it's not just a women's issue. Don't take part in or condone the harassment or objectification of women. Treat women as equal humans and encourage that level of respect in your male peers. Once all men see women as equal human beings and not disposable sexual submissives to dominate, we will end rape. Once men see sex as an interaction between 2 people and not as a conquest, we will end rape. Women are doing their bit by being extra "careful", now men need to do their bit. LOVE this campaign.Grrl, female

Your facts are bogus. You need more facts to prove your case, because provocative dressing is an incitement to rape and the only reason you disagree is because you are a woman and you dress provocatively.Jack Dougly , male

Regardless of gender, how they were dressed or whether they were drunk or not, NOBODY deserves to be raped. Oh and Grrl, rape doesn't only involve penetration with a penis - it can also involve a toy or vibrator or even just fingers.S, female

This campaign is fantastic. Too many people, male and female, fail to understand that women dressed 'provocatively' don't always want sexual attention - they simply feel confident and comfortable in what they choose to wear. It is a frightening truth that choosing to wear a skirt instead of jeans on a night out could be used against you if something were to happen. 'Revealing' clothing is popular and liberally marketed to women, and we should be free to wear it without being judged as 'slutty' or 'asking for it'.C, female

I think this campaign is excellent. Women should have the right to wear whatever they want, without fear of assault. I have been groped in a club before whilst wearing jeans, trainers and a long vest. Was I 'asking for it'? The idea that what you wear or how much you drink entitles someone to rape you in shocking in 2011. Let's get these myths broken once and for all.louise, female

Your website is sexist against males and your section on alcohol is illogical, unrealistic and misleading. I understand that it must be horrible to be told that there are somethings you can't do because you are a woman. However, this does not change the fact that there are somethings you can't do because you are a woman. Life isn't fair.Mike, male

the guy was giving some common sense advice. yes women have the right to wear the sexiest clothes they want, they can go out gogging by themselves, they can walk city streets at night alone - but are these sensible things to do?john leddy, male

the guy was giving some common sense advice. yes women have the right to wear the sexiest clothes they want, they can go out gogging by themselves, they can walk city streets at night alone - but are these sensible things to do?john leddy, male

@Justin, the intention of the pictures isn't to turn you on.. it's to present women who dress revealingly in a different light: as women who are capable of saying no and have every right to dress the way they do. There's no shame in them doing that just as there's no shame in posting these pictures.Roxanne, female

If you dress provactively expect to be checked out. It should never go further then that unless that is what you are expecting, but do not be offended if a guy checks you out.Dustin, male

You have my complete and utter support!! Why should we dress differently, just because a bunch of pre-historic 'men' can't handle it? Plenty of men can handle themselves around half naked women so why can't they all?! In my culture, something 'modest' would be considered extremly 'povocative' in another, thing is a lot of women are more advanced than men so they think it's their place ot 'put us in line' so to speak. Ugh, they disgust me. They think they can do as they please? Think they can do whatever they want to us? Wrong!! REAL MEN stand up against this! Stop finding reasons and excuses to hurt us!Sasha, female

Rape is rape. The victim is never to blame.Aaron, male

I think that this website is absolutely wonderful. There's absolutely no reason for someone to be raped, whether they're a man, a woman, or some other flavor of the gender spectrum. Raising awareness for this is a wonderful step in the right direction. I agree with Aaron, "Rape is rape." No one should ever be blamed for being assaulted that way.Joslyn, female

Too long have women been persecuted for simply expressing their sexuality. Equality and freedom means the right to express your sexuality in any manner you like as long as it's consensual. The word 'slut' needs to stop being a dirty word and women who choose to be sexually promiscuous should have the freedom to do so with dignity, respect and without fear of rape.Sarah, female

We NEED this campaign in spanish ESTA NO ES UNA INVITACIN PARA VIOLARMEEdith, female

Hurrah for a 'transgender' option at last! I love the idea of this campaign - however I think we must be more careful. It's a fact of life that a scantily clad woman will arouse a man - and sometimes lead to rape which could have been avoided by the woman dressing more modestly. While the facts on the way the law treats women in this area are shocking and awful - and rape is in no way her fault but her attacker's - women still need to protect themselves by wearing sensible clothes. Surely this is logical?Phantom, transgender

Most sensible people will agree that there is no justification to raping a woman. However, self-preservation is also an individuals responsibility. Being raped for wearing revealing clothes is like being hit by a car while crossing the road on a pedestrian green signal. The car driver is entirely to blame, I have a right to walk - but I still look both ways before crossing.K, male

Most sensible people will agree that there is no justification to raping a woman. However, self-preservation is also an individuals responsibility. Being raped for wearing revealing clothes is like being hit by a car while crossing the road on a pedestrian green signal. The car driver is entirely to blame, I have a right to walk - but I still look both ways before crossing.K, male

My mum's friend was raped by a stranger when she was 18, and when she told her mum and sister, all she got from them was, "It's your fault for wearing short skirts." Women aren't physical property, that should act or dress in a certain way to suit men. It is a woman's legal right to dress however she wants, and unless she has specifically said the word, "YES", it is rape. No exceptions.Mazza, female

This campaign is fantastic for so many reasons. For a start, it's not telling women not to get themselves into that specific situation, it's clarifying that IT'S NOT OKAY, NO MATTER WHAT. It's disgusting that women are taught to avoid rape, when really men should be taught not to rape. Thank you for this campaign!Emerald, female

Thanks for putting this up. I've always believed that yes is yes and no is no. Something like 95% of rapists don't remember the victim's clothes anyway, so the statistics don't bear out the conservanuts' views.Gabe, male

Thank you, thank you, thank you for educating the public!Bridget, female

i dont live in scottland but when i saw this campaeign i knew there was something great about it. ive first handedly experienced what its like to blame yourself and be blamed for my rape due to what i was wearing and how much i drank. not being able to talk is still NOT consent. it sickens me to think people can honestly blame a girl for being violated due to their clothing options and or being too drunk to actually say NO. all together i think this is great, keep up the good work!hazel, female

I am a FAAB (female assigned at birth) trans* person. This campaign gives me so much hope, as I am close to people who have been raped before. I know a lot more about the subject now, and I think this website will teach other people too.Eli, transgender

I think this campaign is amazing. I was raped just over 3 months ago by a guy that I knew after a nightout. After word spread throughout my University about it, I was shocked at how many people blamed me for drinking, and wearing a dress, something many girls do but regardless I didn't understand why me dressing the way I was should have influenced him. He is a human being which means he should be capable of logical thought and self control, if I see a hot topless man, I control myself - its part of being human. When people then found out we had had sex once in the past, they questioned why this time had been different, surely if I consented once I consented to every additional time. I wish people would change their views about rape, for the reasons listed above I haven't even told many of my closest friends, or my sister about what happened as I as worried that they will judge me and see me as being in the wrong even though I know full well that what he did was wrong and that I was simply a victim of his stupid and vile actions.Sophie, female

After being sexually assaulted I decided to set up this blog http://staystrong-staybeautiful.tumblr.com Your site is so inspiring and I hope we can spread awareness and end victim blaming! xxChessy, female

good this has been way over due lock the buggers up really women are there to be cherished not hurt .........Not all men are like that thoalex, male

women should dress modest, when they dress provocative then In a way the are asking to be raped. let me explane, their like my little kitten, she just about 4" high, then I have a puppy, he over 10 times her size. my kitten gose up to the puppy wanting the puppy attention and to play. but the kitten dosen't want to get hurt. but the puppy knew it get in to trouble if it plays with the kitten, but the kittens there, wanting the attention. before long the puppy gives in, and the puppy get so in to the play it dosn't relize it hurting the kitten. and that it going to kill it if it dose stop. I stop it of course, and the puppy get in trouble. my point, women are the kitten here, they want the attentions of men, right, that why the dress sexy as they say. and men do really think sex, and some time it just seen to the men their asking me to do it, alot of women think they can controller the man. but they can't. the men that rape do need to be punish, but the women of today need to rethink there dress, instead of look at me miss sexy, as women we need to say in are dress look I am a lady, please respect me. any women , rich ,poor, big, little, what ever, can dress in away that say. I am not a sex toy , I am a lady. I need respect. is that so hard to understand. I believe the rape would drop big time, if women of today stared dressing modestly. just think about it.Charity, female

Was raped man was aquited ! still after 2 and half years still living with hurt and bodily injurys had to have stint put in and have prolaps from assault ! feel damaged !cc, female

The way women dress now is rediculous. The first thing men thnk about when they see them dressed like that is ripping there clothes off.Jeff, male

I think that this is a good message. I'm not saying it will solve the problem of rape, but it will certainly help women of all ages know that it is not their fault. I was raped, and didn't report it, because I was drunk and felt that it was my fault, and by the time I came to report it, there wasn't enough evidence. I also didn't receive support from a friend, who went and told everyone she knew. Therefore, I believe this site is a step in the right direction.Hannah, female

Thank you so much for this. I attended "Slut Walk" in Washington, DC, which is another campaign for the same thing. Earlier this year, a police officer said, "If a woman doesn't want to be raped, she shouldn't dress like a slut," which is where we got the name for the march. I was raped by an ex-coworker of mine while I was drunk at a party, and people still say it was my fault. It will never be my fault. Anyways, thank you for this.Chloe, female

I disagree. If two women were walking on the road, one dressed more provocatively than the other, then she obviously attracts more unwanted, unnecessary and gross attention from men surrounding her. Women need to respect their own bodies and cover themselves right before expecting that from men. Not all rapes happen this way, and nothing can justify abuse, but when a woman can stay safe, and she doesn't, it is partly her fault. If you can avoid it, why wouldn't you? Don't act like a showpiece if you don't want to be treated like one.Haifa T, female

NO MEANS NO MEN, IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO END RAPE. I agree with Grrl 100%. Women are not responsible for men being unable to control their own behaviour. I agree with Emerald 100%.........MEN SHOULD BE TAUGHT NOT TO RAPE......first of all by their fathers/male authority figures in their lives and then in school. Why aren't there classes in all schools where from the youngest age students discuss the concepts of Power, Morals and Ethics? And to the men who propose that women should not dress in a certain way etc, when you see beautiful women dressed sexily do you want to rape them? Is this what you will teach your sons - that it's ok to rape a woman who's out at a certain time, who's dressed sexily, who's had too much to drink- because she's 'asking for it' even when she's saying NO? If your daughter is raped will you turn away from her telling her it was her fault even though she said NO? Will you watch your friend/s rape a woman dressed in a short skirt and not call the police even though the woman is saying NO? What will you teach your sons about being a man? What will you teach your sons about regulating their own behaviour? What will you teach your sons about rape? NO MEANS NO will you teach them that? MEN IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO END RAPEmaggie, female

I was raped twice before I was 16 ... I didn't tell my family, friends or anyone I knew. I have now, and have been exiled from my family and friends. 94% of men use internet porn, all of which offers rape sites as entertainment. I don't know figures for female on male rape, haven't seen any quoted, but the figs of 9 out of ten rape victims not reporting the crime leads to an overall figure of 150,000 rapes per year as 15,000 rapes +- are reported. That's 1 in 2 of the female population ... the moment women start talking about rape, a good number of men start protesting that 'not all men are rapists' as if men are a separate breed from women. Not all men are rapists, but the vast vast vast majority of rapists are men - that's the problem. So if men don't like this fact, take a stronger line with other men that do rape/joke about rape/buy rape on the internet ...derrington, female

As a survivor of intimate partner rape I support this campaign. I think its good, but then people like me would. Reading through these comments it doesn't seem like it is actually reaching the people that we need to. We need to reach the men (and women) that don't understand consent. We need to reach the people that *just don't get it*. These Ad's work for people like me, they are affirming and they are a positive contribution. I can see their value of that is all they do. Still, looking through the comments they do not work for the majority of male posters. They do not work for the "good guys" that fear that they are being put down as a gender for the actions of a few. The individuals that don't understand that trivialising rape or allowing these myths to continue is in and of itself harmful. If we want to change minds we have to meet people where they are, we have to bring them from their current understanding - perhaps these ads are just too advanced?Charlie Tyler, female

If a manufacturer produced two products, and one of them broke ten times more often than the other, the manufacturer would question the quality of that product. But males commit ten times more crimes than females, and we accept it as if it is some kind of natural phenomenon. It's not. The way we raise children produces broken men who break women. We must examine our childrearing practices and stop accepting violence and criminality from men that we don't see in women. "Testosterone" is not an excuse for raping someone, or for any other crime.Albatross, male

In my opinion, the "pornographic billboards" aren't insulting, they are a way to attract attention to an incredibly serious subject.Kathryn, female

I wholeheartedly support this and wonder what the statistics are about how many rape victims were actually wearing clothing deemed to be 'asking for it'? I imagine that statistics would show that the majority of victims were not in fact scantily clad, but have never been able to find any statistics defending the clothing issue in this way.Jessica, female

I'm guessing 90% of these incidents could be avoided by responsible women. Don't kiss and touch if you don't wanna have sex. Don't get drunk and fall on some stranger's lap when you're half naked. Just don't. If you do, I don't care.Mananvar, male

This is an excellent campaign - I hope at some stage it will change the inbuilt prejudice in the UK legal systemMark, male

Understand and wholeheartedly agree with the points being made, but WOW, what a way to go about it. Completely irresponsible to younger generations who this type of "education" is most valuable to. This seems like overt feminism as opposed to a measured way of making a difference.Sarah, female

I know its been said before, but this isn't a one gender issue. In some areas, male rape has a much higher rate than female rape, but often the men are too embarrassed for "not protecting themselves" to come forward. We need to readdress society perceptions as a whole, and perhaps consider why the word "pervert" (like those who read nuts on the train) isn't applied more liberally...Mary, female

To all of those still hung up on the clothing issue, I don't believe this site is necessarily defending immodest dress. What it is defending is the rights of ALL people to due process regardless of their color, sex, style of dress, and reputation. Think about it this way, if someone broke into your house and stole your plasma TV, is that your fault for placing the TV near the window where a passerby could see it? You may say, well that was an unwise choice, but in court, where your TV was located in your house shouldn't affect the punishment exacted on the burglar in any way. In the same vein, if a woman or man does not consent to sex and it is forced on him or her- that's rape. The punishment should be the same, no matter the "type of person" she is. Anything else is discrimination.Colleen, female

Rape sucks. Saying or implying that a woman "deserved it" for any reason is wrong. However, victim blaming, as wrong as it is, will not go away. There's a reason putting the victim on trial is used on courts all the time, and it's because it works (cognitive dissonance, and all that). Reducing rape is important. Just don't use techniques that vilify all men. If you are told you are no good because of the gender you were born with, eventually you will start to believe it. Quit making men the enemy. Make rape the enemy.Alejandro, male

It's nice to know that i am not alone in believing that people, all people, should be able to wear whatever they want and not be shamed for it. The concept of "sluttiness" is so ingrained in our culture, and we need to eradicate it.Sofia, female

This is a fantastic campaign. Living in a society that still allows such things as the Layla Ibrahim imprisonment when she was the victim (http://tinyurl.com/3oub2x7), it is also much-needed.Kate Gould, female

When I was six I was raped, and molested at ages 9, 12 and 15. I hear so many people discussing "sluttiness" in women, and taunting, "well, if she doesn't want me to be a perv, she shouldn't wear shirts that show cleavage." I was RAPED AT SIX and I'm SURE the way I dressed had nothing at all to do with it. I dress like a kid. When I was older and molested, I wore converse, jeans and band t-shirts. You could hardly tell I was even female. But it still happened. It's not about clothing, it's about perversion, control- sometimes people can only get off to raping or molesting someone, or seeing it happen. It's never ever about clothing. It sickens me that someone would think a rape or sexual assault/abuse story is less heart-breaking if the girl or guy shows too much skin, or flirts or drinks a lot. There are so many people that reinforce that idea, eventually sexual predators will only attack the kinds of people who do show a lot of skin just because other people don't care as much. An innocent girl from Kentucky who wears floral-patterned dresses to the knee with bows in her hair gets raped and it's an outrage. A highschool girl from new york whose wardrobe consists of only LBD's gets raped and 'she was asking for it'. I can't even describe my feelings right now. It's so terrible. If you think people get assaulted because of the way they act or dressed, you're just as much to blame as the rapist is. This sickens me.Jordyn, female

I think the name of the site pretty much says it all. Blaming the victim the way he/she dresses is like blaming a gun shot victim for standing in the bullets trajectory. It is like the rapist has become a norm in our society, and getting raped is atleast in part your fault. No. There never should have been a rapist in the first place.Markus, male

Surely it has to be in context. A wealthy man displaying his wealth is not inviting robbery but it makes it more likely. Taking sensible precautions is always reasonableMickieDee, male

I think that sex for men is visual, seeing provocative dress can excite men easily, when they are sexually excited they will surely find a way to release these tensions. unfortunately they choose victims which are easier to attack : child or students..Someone, male

I stumbled across the website, and I am disgusted by some of the things people say the woman is "responsible" for. The story about Lindsay Armstrong angered me the most, especially with what the defendents lawyer tried to do and her eventual suicide. I'm also appalled at the attitudes towards women and drinking. The campaign is one of the best campains I've ever come across, and I wish you the best of luck, keep up the brilliant work.Samuel Harrison, male

Thinking that men should control themselves is also a naive thing to do when statistics say it doesn't always happen. An example is when most shops put up security systems. Not all their shoppers are thieves but some are... This is a problem that I see with these arguments on this issue, one side wants to put responsibility or point fingers at the other. I think the best way to resolve this is to have some communication. The way one woman dresses might arouse a man who while not acting at the same point of arousal, may rape someone else because they became horny. That can be very hard to link. Admittedly, women know how to turn on a man and its general knowledge what turns on a man. So lets not be naive that we wear things and 'morally' men should behave...?Andy, male

your entire website is wrong! your doing more harm than good if i was taught it was partially MY FAULT for how i dress and how i behave, then i wouldnt have been raped! doesnt matter if something in a perfect world SHOULDNT BE AN INVITATION, we are dealing with the real world and in the real world, once men reach a certain point, they have to finish, therefore, better to inform woman that they can and should avoid those situations really the rule should be, unless you are willing to have intercourse you shouldnt accept kisses or touches so it should either be EVERYTHING or NOTHING, as this "in-between-" is too hard to work in the real world and no amount of polls and blogs to the contrary will actually help solve the problem the old tradition which you think is backwards, did much more good than the harm that your site does by promising something which can't be achieved realistically, no matter how idealistically you feel it should be.brandy, female

We have a mouth to communicate, though we do express our emotions by our clothing. This, however, ds not give ANYONE a right to interpret us as wanting sex, because our intentions are expressed by our voice. & if we do not have a voice, let those who do speak out for the mute. May everyone know, as the guilt & conviction in our hearts permeate our thought THAT RAPE IS A CRIME, A FAR SUPERIOR SIN THAN MURDER ITSELF! Why? Because it damages every intellectual & emotional aspect, not to mention [apart from the trauma] the physical damage of either abuse or potential diseases spread by the rapist. These sick people, whether they admit it or not are so selfish to hurt others to satisfy themselves. Rape is the same as robbing some one, & the unconscious rape is the same as burglary, that is you know you are missing something but are not sure. Peace be to all the victims, & may the guilt convict the rapist to scream the truth to the world.Jyonasan Volkov, male

People should stop attacking the victims and start blaming the people who actually commit the rapist. Blaming the victims only allows people to get away with it. Great campaighNaomi, female

If I wear a short skirt it does not mean that men can molest me.Christine Jane, female

False reporting for rape is on par with false reporting for other crimes. I'm tired of people (usually men, admittedly) using false reporting of rape as a way to detract from discussion of the very real and serious problem of sexual violence.Kerry, female

I think this is actually worth highlighting in the campaign course http://www.law.duke.edu/shell/cite.pl?14+Duke+J.+Gender+L.+&+Pol%27y+125 quote: "While people perceive dress to have an impact on who is assaulted, studies of rapists suggest that victim attire is not a significant factor. Instead, rapists look for signs of passiveness and submissiveness, which, studies suggest, are more likely to coincide with more body-concealing clothing." So not only revealing clothing is not invitation to rape, concealing clothing might actually attract rapistsFaceless Bob, male

Recently, for the first time ever, a female said to me ' if women dress provactively, they deserve to be raped'! I was outraged! Male or females have the right and freedom to choose what they want to wear and im so happy to see a site like this campaigning against ridiciouls views that it is the womans fault.Lou, female

Telling women to dress less provocatively in order to avoid being sexually assaulted does not condone sexual assault, nor does it blame the victim. Do you lock your door at night? If you do and your house is broken into, no one is blaming you for being robbed. The burglar does not have the right to steal from you. No one is justifying rape, since rapists who are caught are convicted.Dante710, male

If choice of dress as incitement to rape is a myth, you can only debunk it by showing that certain types of of dress don't significantly correlate with instances (alleged or convicted) of rape. This page doesn't do that. It just calls something a myth then documents that a segment of the population believes it. So there's nothing really interesting here for anyone who wants to get wiser. It's just propaganda.Ron, male

I am writing from the UK and I am astonished by the comments from most of the men on this page. They have no idea what effect rape has on women and the way it is about power and nothing to do with sex. Men who like women don't rape and I mean straight blokes!Alan, male

women should not be judged on what they wear as people should be allowed to wear whatever they feel comfortable in. Men and in particular boys, need to be brought up to respect women and not see them as sexual objectsBecky , female

Girls dress for themselvesMal, female

Shit I dress for myselfMallory little, female

I agree 100%.Amy, female

I dress a certain way because I love my body and expressing that love through sexy clothes serves to empower me. Men don't try to force themselves upon me as I am well known for being able to defend myself, however I still have the reputation of a slut despite having come to college a virgin. Guys aren't the only ones perpetuating the idea of a girl's outfit meaning she wanted it. I think it's important to raise awareness about other girls petty jealousies and rumours having serious consequences. A guy may not legitimately consider forcing himself upon a scantily clad woman - until he hears other women talk about how much she sleeps around. Since everybody's had a turn, one more doesn't matter, right? That being said, I also think it's important to acknowledge that a woman having a healthy sex life doesn't always mean she's a virgin until marriage. It doesn't matter how many men a woman has slept with, no means no. I guess these are just some things you should add to your website.Saman, female

Another misandry campaign by the feminazi to demonize men. What about lesbian females raping other females ?? That never happens ?? Such blatant hypocrisy. Women rape but that's alright we can sweep that under the rug. But let's demonize men because selling this type of propaganda sells easier than actual education on rape prevention. I think all the given scenarios on this site are irrelevant in the face of a firm loud NO. Heterosexual partners, Homosexual partner , male or female, need to learn to give clear and firm answers. Doing so trumps any situation mentioned by this site - drinking, clothing etc etc. Sane partners once hearing a clear firm communication of a NO will back off.tyron, male

changing men is what's needed. Start with the radical message that women don't exist to service men - perhaps getting this message out to women and girls is the best start. Rape exists because men believe they have a right to women's bodiesAnonymous, female

Walking down the street counting your cash is not an invitation to being robbed, either, but just may be taken as such by robbers.Allison, female

Don't forget that the majority of rapes are perpetrated by "friends" and relatives in private quarters (mostly homes). Stranger rape may excite more apprehension but one's own intimates present the greatest danger by far.Allison, female

Rape is not the victim's FAULT. However, though robbery is not the victim's fault, even if she was walking along in a scruffy area openly counting her cash, our first priority should not be blaming the perpetrator but avoiding being victimized.Allison, female

Firstly, rape is a disgusting crime and the victims need all the support and sympathy they can get. "What does the assumption that dress can contribute to rape say about men? That they are so completely unable to control their sexual behaviour that it is quite possible for them to launch a sexual attack if sufficiently provoked at any time? Is this how men want to see themselves?" Errr... What? I think you might just of made a mistake here, most rapists are men, but most men are not rapists. Men with the intelligence greater than that of a slug do not see women as potential targets or just a big pair of breasts they see, surprisingly, women. You know other human beings with equal rights and intellects. Implying that all men are potential rapists, just waiting for the right moment to strike, does nothing but hinder the cause. A women dressed sexually naturally draws attention from men, like a red flag to a bull, does this mean she wants to be raped or attacked? No, of course not! Do rapists care? No, sadly not.James, male

from these comments we can safely say most men condone raping a woman who is drunk or dressed in little, or who have kissed or unknowingly teased a man. Either they condone it or they think, as some here have said 'its her fault' and 'i dont care'. I've said it before and I'll say it again, men these days hate the fact that women can flirt, wear hot clothing, drink and do what they like and that doesnt entitle them to sex. The male ego allover the west is dent because of this. The amount of victim blaming and rape apologizing hugely from men is very telling and absoloutely disgusting. No wonder so many of us have been raped and have had no justice. Since being 13 I have been raped 3 times. I was gang raped by a group of lads my own age at a party, they were prosecuted. They didnt get jail, I got about 300 compensation and they had to go on some sort of 'course'. A year later I was kidnapped in broad daylight with a friend by a gang of pakistani men who were about 15 years older. I was orally raped and threatening with machetes and so was my friend. The police would not do anything when we reported it. I think it was to keep community cohesion. I was then aged 19 raped by my ex boyfriend when I told him I was leaving him. I never even reported it as by this time I had lost all faith in the justice system. Not once in these was I out of my face on beer or wearing a skirt or anything similar. Stop blaming us and start giving us proper justice. It makes me feel sick.Anonymous, female

I find it so hard to believe that some people think that if a women, girl etc wears revealing clothes that fives any man the right to rape her or do anything inappropriate towards her absoulutly sickening. If a man went out in shorts you wouldn't think twice what happened to gender equality and plus if men can't control themselves around a female wearing a dress or shorts then why are we getting the blame it makes me sick!Sunny, female

I find it so hard to believe that some people think that if a women, girl etc wears revealing clothes that fives any man the right to rape her or do anything inappropriate towards her absoulutly sickening. If a man went out in shorts you wouldn't think twice what happened to gender equality and plus if men can't control themselves around a female wearing a dress or shorts then why are we getting the blame it makes me sick!Sunny, female

I don't think leaving the windows open in my house should be an invitation for burglary- but I don't do it because I know of the people around who would take advantage of that. This campaign is good in that there is no defence for rape, but it would be a bigger detriment to society if anti-rape campaigns were to promote sexually provocative clothing.Dom, male

It would be great for this campaign to expand its borders to include men and intersex people who have been raped. Thank-you so much for fighting the rape culture that we live in. It's reassuring to see that people care.Meredith Czymmek, female

So by your logic if a women walks around half naked with a provocative outfit, wearing high heels (which serve NO purpose but to elongate the legs - a sign of fertility and "good" genes) and a T-shirt which says "slut" or something - she is not at least partly to blame? Grow up. If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck and quacks like a duck etc. Stop beating up on men. Your attire is SOMETIMES an advert.Geoff Allcock, male

So by your logic if a women walks around half naked with a provocative outfit, wearing high heels (which serve NO purpose but to elongate the legs - a sign of fertility and "good" genes) and a T-shirt which says "slut" or something - she is not at least partly to blame? Grow up. If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck and quacks like a duck etc. Stop beating up on men. Your attire is SOMETIMES an advert.Geoff Allcock, male

your campaign is excellent. Just liked it on facebook a few minutes ago. Thank for fighting against these horrendous stereotypes! Congrats from Portugal!!Antea, female

This website is informative and easy to use. I dream of a day when I don't have to censor myself in order to be respected by others and don't have to be afraid walking down the street by myself.Maggie, female

I'm a woman that dresses in a revealing manner. People like to assume that this is why I'm a rape victim. They don't realize I was raped before I was old enough to pick out my own clothing.anonymous, female

To be honest, I can kinda see why this stuff happens when girls dress a little revealing. I mean, have you SEEN their shorts/skirts OMILAWWD! Obviously, the girl likes the male attention. If not, why do they dress like that? It's obvious they are subconsciously trying to entice men into "taking" them, if you know what I mean.J Cutler, female

Where are the morals? Why would a woman want to display her nipples before everyone in public? I don't care if its not a invitation, that's not class.Anonymous, male

Rape doesn't need an invitation. "This" Simply makes you an easier target.Captain Obvious, male

Rape does not need invitation. "This" Makes you more of a target. Regardless of whether or not you were "inviting" the rapist.Captain Obvious, male

wonderful topic and interesting twist. i'm a big fan of the slut walk movement and this relates. it would be cool to coordinate this with some sort of men's group and get them to make some male directed graphics as well.chandra, female

Women don't have to wear revealing dress to get raped. I've heard news that women wearing burqa covering all over her body got raped, too. That is why I hate the apologists' analogy of "Do you lock your door in the night?" "If you don't, it's your fault you get robbed". But guess what? An intentional burglar will just break the lock! Similarly, if someone has intent to rape, dress means nil. Some will say that "Revealing dress just increases the probability!!" but I'll say that it's only because it's common perception that most men jerk off to scantily-clad women. But don't forget that there are those who get aroused looking at someone totally covered up. If people understand this, then they should understand that the onus of raping or not raping falls within the person who see the dress, not the person wearing the dress. So, I reiterate once again - how one dresses isn't an invitation to rape. Good luck with the campaign!Anonymous, male

A study in the States about convicted rapists found the one thing in common they could remember about their victims was ponytails- because they were 'easy to hold on to'. Clothing had no impact on choice of victim. Clothing is not an invitation or justification for rape.Helen, female

A girl on facebook recently posted "the way some girls dress these days!! they're just asking for it!!! mad I bet they're the one that are like "oh my god he touched my bum! that's disgusting!!" well no wonder he touched it, your skirts up yer bloody arse!" This instantly bubbled up anger in me, I couldn't believe what she said! I managed to restrain from sending a massive rant back, just. I remember seeing a picture in the newspaper of the Slutwalk when it first took place in Glasgow. I thought this was an amazing idea, and thoroughly backed it, looking out for follow ups to see if I could make them. I haven't yet due to college and living around 250 miles away, however I think I may be able to attend the next, if I find the date of course! However, I still have the newspaper clipping up on my wall to remind me of why it is such an important cause for people to learn about instead of staying uninformed.Mary Crook, female

the dress of girls should cover the whole neck, breast, waist and legs; at the same time the dress should not be so tightly designed which may look awkward.Rahul, male

so much love for this campaign. i am so sick and tired of every other campaign out there existing only to tell women to be careful what they wear and what message their clothes send off, especially if they drink. i should be able to wear what makes me feel comfortable, confident, or happy with myself. i dress for myself, not men. in no way is anything i ever wear an invitation to violate me. i can only hope more campaigns like this one will start showing up - campaigns that aren't aimed at women suggesting they can prevent rape if they would dress a certain way.abby, female

I say, that even if I walk down the street naked, I have the right not to be raped and should be absolved of responsibility. It is a man's job to refrain from raping people. I'd like to think that they consider themselves highly evolved enough that you CAN FUCKING CONTROL YOURSELVES.crc, female

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is so important. Keep up the good work!Nicole, female

She's got her hand in your man's pants and she doesn't expect sex? That's absolutely ridiculous.JC, female

There is never an invitation to rape me. EverAlex, female

It definately doesnot matter unless u are abroad and then u will be classed as easy preyJulie, female

Rape is definitely heinous. However, I believe that we should dress appropriately. We all walk confidently in the day as we feel safe due to the company of other people around us and not assuming that the police will save us from untoward incidents. Nights naturally call for more incidents due to less number of people around us. Hence, if dress is provocative in nature, there is a possibility that the culprits are attracted towards it. No one in the world can identify them before they commit the crime as they are like anyone of us. Thus, my take would be that it is always safe than sorry.Sandeep, male

When my case went to trial, I had to sit behind the witness stand and be bullied by a defense lawyer who made me explain to the jury Exactly what I had been wearing and what make up I had put on that night. I got so angry and started crying. Everything they teach you that "doesn't matter", can and will be thrown in your face in court. You didnt fight? Oh you wanted it. You didn't scream? You must have been alright. You wore make up? Oh you were looking to get lucky. You had a drink of alcohol? Oh you must just not remember saying yes. It's screwed up, but it's true. And the worst part is, a jury of my peers fell for all that BS. After I sat there crying, having to explain tot hem in detail what that monster did to me, they couldnt get past what the defense lawyer drilled into their brains. That I was lieing. That I had had fun casual drunk sex with this guy, and I was making the whole thing up because I was embarrased. Now you tell me, whats more embarasing; people finding out you hooked up with a guy? OR sitting in front of a room full of strangers describing how someone violated you? I will never get over how people thought I would make something like that up. Our society needs to rethink how they view rape.Emma Richard, female

I am a pig. I love the way a woman looks, and if she wishes to flaunt what she's got, she ought to be able to be proud, not afraid! I can't remember the name of the Muslim feminist on Bill Maher who commented about the repression that the burka represents and said, "God forbid that men learn how to control themselves!" Hell, I give myself more credit than that. If a lady wants to dance in my lap, I'll be happy to let her. At no point do I need to cross her lines. Consent is a pretty clear line to draw. And I love to watch a woman feel pretty. I like to prance a bit myself. It's all fun and games. Why should anyone feel threatened?Clubbaseal, male

I'm a teenager in school, and I was shocked to discover today that many of my peers, both male and female, believe that a women who dresses in a more revealing way is 'asking' for rape. The most pressing concern seemed to be that women should dress more modestly, and not go out alone at night to avoid rape, rather than dealing with rapists. I think this campaign is sorely needed, and needs to be even more widely spread, particularly in schools.Lizzie Frost, female

I think muggers should be able to use the defence that their victims were asking to have their money taken away by wearing expensive looking clothing and or jewelry.Gordie, male

No one is saying the way someone dresses is an excuse to rape. But the fact that some of you, including this site cannot accept is the way you dress can put you in danger. You have to accept that rapists do exist out there, so don't dress provocatively and go in to a bad area on your own. It is all about minimising risk. I don't leave my keys in the car warming it up (too much fuel duty makes it too expensive anyway), out on the road, on a cold winters day. If I did and the car was stolen, I would have to face the fact, that I could have done more to prevent the crime. If you don't like that comparison, let's use a direct one of mugging. If I walk through a rough neighbourhood with a lot of expensive electronics, openly flaunting them, I could get mugged and beaten to death. I didn't ask to be mugged and beaten to a pulp and it isn't my (the victims)fault muggers or rapists exist, but just like a woman that isn't aware of her environment, I would have to accept the fact, that I made myself a target for crime. So calm down you silly feminists, no-one ever mentioned an invitation, all they mentioned is ways not to paint a massive bullseye on yourself!Will, female

when i put on an outfit when i go out, some men have tried to get very friendly with me, one even tried following me home and thank god my friends were with me. I dress in my party clothes because it's my body and i feel great in my clothes, it isn't an invitation for men to start putting their arms round me and thinking i'm asking for it. it's my body and the men i've met trying to use their hands should realise i have not given permission. I do feel that this campaign heads in the right direction in alerting people to a woman's right to dress how she likes without fear of danger.sophie, female

This campaign is not designed to destroy the image of marriage for your children John. It's designed to raise awareness of an issue that is all too often ignored or unnoticed. Now that it is being noticed you condemn it for destroying a "happy image" and move countries?Louise Anderson, female

Just because I came over to watch a movie with you and dozed off does not mean I wanted to have sex with you - WHILE your live-in girlfriend, my friend, was at her grandmother's funeral!Beth, female

Women dress to feel beautiful for themselves, not to tease men.Lina, female

Fantastic campaign, it's agreeable that attitudes are the key to this, good luck. KaliKali, male

I wish you a lot of success in your campaign to educate the public about the true facts.Clay Hilligas, male

No, dessing sexily is not an invitation to be raped. But the question then remains; for whom and for what purpose are you dressing "sexily"? Are you not trying to attract the attention of men? And when you dress "sexily" which kind of men do you hope to attract the attention of? The decent ones? Or the ones who see women as sex objects and for whom your "sexy" presentation compounds their beliefs?Ivy1395034294639, female

No, dessing sexily is not an invitation to be raped. But the question then remains; for whom and for what purpose are you dressing "sexily"? Are you not trying to attract the attention of men? And when you dress "sexily" which kind of men do you hope to attract the attention of? The decent ones? Or the ones who see women as sex objects and for whom your "sexy" presentation compounds their beliefs?Ivy1395034294639, female

Excellent campaign it has really targetted specific issues that are visible in todays societyFrancesca, female

Desde Espaa. En Escocia ocurre exactamente igual que aqu. Bravo por la campaa!Tomas Also Sans, male

Hello everyone, It's great to hear so many people starting to talk about the social stigmas surrounding rape. I am a performer and artist and also a victim of rape. I never reported my assault mostly because I was made to feel that what happened to me was fine. This was something told to me by the young people around me at the time that I confided in, my friends. They 'rationalised' it was my own fault because of what I was wearing and because I was drunk and dancing in public. It has taken four years for me to come to terms with what happened and let go of any blame I might have put on myself. For some reason I was never able to throw away the dress I was wearing that night. It sat in a box at the bottom of my wardrobe, hidden out of sight. Now an empowered and driven artist and performer I have gone back to that box at the bottom of my wardrobe. I have an idea, for a project. An exhibition, but it requires the help of other people like myself. Like you. I want to display an exhibit of clothes, outfits worn by any victims of sexual assault. The aim of my project is to display many outfits together. Sexual assaults can happen to anyone, young old, man, women. The idea that what someone was wearing in some way excuses the rapist is something that we need to eradicate from modern culture. Unfortunately, rape occurs commonly, whether the victim is in a dress or tracksuit, school uniform or pyjamas. No victim should be asked what they were wearing for any reason other than to obtain possible trace DNA of the attacker from the clothes. I hope that by displaying many different outfits, worn by real victims, possibly along with their stories, people will be confronted by the actuality of blaming an outfit for a rape. No outfit on a mannequin is 'asking for it'. The outfits do not hold blame but the very brave and real stories of the people who wore them. If you would be interested in talking more about the project, sharing your story or if you are incredibly brave and have an outfit you would like to donate to the cause then email me on notaskingforit.project@outlook.com LauraLaura, female

The stupidity of the argument; 'because a female dresses in clothes that a man finds attractive indicates to the man that she wants to be raped', clearly concludes that men seem to have biased dominating precedence in society. You don't have to be a genius to know woman should have a intrinsic right to CHOOSE who they are intimate with. It's called called consensual sex! Still, in this day and age, woman are being held responsible for rape based on the way they dress. This clearly indicates that woman are not treated as having a right to be human! Men have a brain that can rationalise! Men know what they are doing when they rape! And just to clarify to the certain groups of men out there, NO female in the world EVER deserves or wants to be raped! No matter what the latest fashion is. Young girls are influenced by the latest fashion seen in the media. They dress to feel good about themselves. They don't ever put on a dress and say to themselves ' I hope I get raped tonight'. The major point is being lost with the lame argument/ excuse about females interest in fashion being blamed for rape as if it was her purposeful decision to go out there and get raped! Men do ultimately have control over their actions. Rape is considered by most females equivalent to murder as a crime! Why is this excuse still being used? In conclusion, if woman's dress is still being used as an excuse for enticing rape, then shouldn't men be the ones who should be restricted in society and possibly locked away hidden from the public as they are clearly the true threat in society and not vice versa!Sarah, female

I was of the opinion, until very recently, that a polite and respectful decorum should be maintained by women when we wear clothes. But the story of Lindsay Armstrong angered me! A child of 15 driven to suicide? That is terrible! Truly terrible. We should wear WHATEVER we feel comfortable in. I, henceforth, refuse to let my clothes sexualise me. Thank you, this is inspirational.Evelyn Johnson, female

If there are rapevictims who are blamed for their rape because of clothing I feel truly sorry for them, But being responsible regarding close or behaviour is a personal responibility. As a male I cannot claim to have the right to walk home drunk, dressed as a ritch-kid and not be assultet or mugged. We all have the rights to safe streets, but must take responsibility for our own actions. the crime is the rapists, but the exposure to the crime is also ones own. Open windows invite burglars, and there are off limit areas and situations if one must stay safe. this applies to both genders! The being said the victim is never accauntable for the crime. Just for its own actions. And i know that even Parker Coats and overalls wont stop rapists from raping, and its unfair to women that they have to stay alert and cant get drunk without that risk. it is. Its also unfair for me as boyfriend when i have to fend off creeps, because my girls oufit attracts them. Its unfair for me as a man, to get drunk, have sex and wake up to a rapecharge he never saw coming. that happens too. Dress how yopu please, but please take responibility for you lives in stead of demanding that the Whole of society, including creeps, adjust to your rights and freedom. We cant make the streets or parties safe enough for people to avoid getting muggedm beaten or murdered. Why is rape a special issue, when crime is the problem? Distuise yourselves as men for a night out and party like you want. see what happens. take responibility for exposing yopurselves to risk- and jail the rapists hard.Steffen, male

This article appearing today on the homepage of MSN appears to be inviting rape in the last sentence: http://www.msn.com/en-gb/lifestyle/relationships/30-secrets-every-woman-keeps-from-her-man/ar-AAeUjBr?li=AAaeUIW 30. She wants you to take control in bed. Yes, she has a successful career, she's financially independent, she lives on her own, and she doesnt need a man to make her happy (in theory). She still wants you to pick her up, carry her to the bedroom, and take without asking.Anonymous, female

Just because a woman dresses the way she wants does not mean she is open for sex. Clothing is one of many ways a woman can express her creativity freely without consent of anyone else. Teens and adolescents do need consent from their parents on what to wear, which is understandable. Full grown women should be allowed to freely express themselves without a man thinking she is "inviting" you to have sex with her.Adriana, female

I love this campaign. I remember once, when I was a teenager, I was wearing a mini-skirt and a young man at school said and then they complain that we raped them" It was awful! I am glad there are campaigns like this one now. There is no excuse for abuse.Adela, female

Being a victim of rape I am very happy about this page u didn't know how to go about it and now I want more involved in campaigns and put a stop to rape all together we are survivorsClare, female

Thank you for this campaign. I am christian, and I surly do not support all fashion today, even if I am open. But NO FASHION is an EXCUSE FOR RAPE OR SEXUAL ASSAULT. Every HUMAN BEING GOT A FREE WILL. Every rape is a FREE DECISION for a CRIME hurting other people, hurting a soul maybe for ever. Rapeexperiences are so difficult to heal that some victims will never recover completly. I am a victim of sexual assault (by a female offender) myself. I think only survivors really understand this feelings. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THAT! Most of the people who try to find such "excuses" can be happy I think they did not have to go through this sick experience of rape or sexual assault themselves.Chris, male

Excellent campaign. I'd like to know what it would happen if we, women, would sexually assault a man because of his tight clothes.Ana, female

Your comments on Intimacy

I am really pleased that this aspect has been highlighted. I've heard far too many real life incidents like these. Most of the time the victim and the victims friends also believe it's her fault. People need to be aware of their rights in all situations.Karen, female

A very powerful campaign! I hope it makes people stop and think.Russell, male

Good on you for telling it like it is. There are still too many people who believe the stupid myths. I hope this can help change some people's minds about rape.Farrah, female

The hardest thing to convince a rape survivor of is that it was not and never was her fault. I know. It took me 14 years to be able to believe this for myself.V, female

A powerful message, put across very clearly. I hope we all learn something from it.Tim, male

This is one of the most difficult things to deal with in rape. Being raped by someone you know. I was raped by an ex-partner and was completely baffled as to what happened and why. I also felt ashamed because I thought I had led him on (even though since when has a conversation meant that?). It's time we realised what rape it- it is not just having sex with someone. There are lots of comments from men about women lying about rape or blokes 'getting it wrong'. If it happened to you you would know about it. If she doesn't say yes..don't force her. Rapists are sick and a different breed.Anon, female

"Myth: a woman consenting to any level of sexual activity is to blame for "giving mixed signals"". This is not a myth...it's very true. People can be very misleading, wires can get crossed, signals can be mis-interpreted. While a woman in this situation cannot be held responsible for being raped, she can be held responsible for not making her intentions clearer. In these situations, women must accept a degreee of accountiblity too.Anon, male

When I go out in public without a bra and my nipples protruding I expect to be stared at, and I recognize some of my clothes are designed to make men imagine sex with me. I often see some of my sisters after a few drinks rubbing against men,making "fuck me" eyes etc.They are abusing their sexual power, taunting, teasing, provoking..If I behaved this way I wouldn't be surprised if one of them resented it and got physical. In an intimate situation if I'm stroking a man through his pants like in the photo and then I stop with no consideration for how I would be frustrating him, I wouldn't be surprised if he got angry. Your lessons betray a lack of understanding of the difference between male and female sexuality and an inability to empathize with a sexual male.Charlene, female

A woman has a responsibility to use her common sense. Therefore if a woman doesn't want to have sex with a man, she should not go too far with him. A dance or a kiss is not an invitation to sex. But if she goes home with him, snogs with him, lets him take her knickers off, and then suddenly changes her mind, I think she is guilty of considerable contributory negligence. As for saying that she has the right to say no even during intercourse, good God, do you think men are made of ice or something? Do you think they can just switch it off at will?Louise, female

agreeing with anonymous down the bottom to be honest, quite a strong campaign, hope you do well and get the message across, I'll be blogging about it soon hopefully, danny-connor.blogspot.com anything I post I'll link back to this site as well, bit of sponsorship either way.Dan, male

Yes, if a woman wants a man to stop, for example she is in pain, he should be able to stop. Men are humans, not animals. Why can't we go home with a man and not have sex? If he is unsure, is it so hard to say, "Do you want to?" Good luck with the campaign. Glad to see something being done.Lyndsay, female

Louise, the only men who would be "made out of ice" are the ones who would just continue to have his way despite her changing her mind. You're setting up a virgin-whore dichotomy, with either the woman accepting no intimacy or going all the way. People are more complicated than that. I can think of a number of reasons why a woman can change her mind mid-intercourse, like it hurting. Men are NOT mindless f**k machines. If a guy can imediately stop intercourse when his gf's dad walks in (I highly doubt the bloke would keep going), then men can stop when their partner says "no".Charlotte, female

I would never get "hot" in the back of a taxi, it certainly shows a vunerable teenager/woman - "wait until your home!"AS, 19, female

An outward show of emotion or affection does not imply any consent for sex.HW, male

I got in an argument with a friend about this yesterday - it made me so mad! I don't understand how people can believe it's the woman's responsibility to not "get in a situation where she'll get raped." So stupid...Katie, female

I 100% agree with louise. You can't be about to or be half way through sex with a man and then just change your mind. Men are not toys. I also don't like how in these popups over the pictures portray the girls view as always right and the mans view as always wrong. These images seem to me to be saying "girls, do whatever you want with men because your word is law when it comes to sex". If a woman does not want to have sex she should not give the man the impression that she does. Don't get me wrong, I do not agree with rape of any kind. However I do feel that there is a point where a woman must accept some blame for leading a guy on to an unacceptable degree.CM, male

its fantastic news to have this website and other types of media doing it. i hope it does change the sterotyped views of rape which have been seen in the negative way for so many decades. ive been in an abuse relationship previously, he also thought since i was his gf that he had every right to my body therfore didnt need to ask for it even when i said no or was asleep etc ans when i protested hed physicaly hurt my to get what he wanted even when he didnt want sex he still hurt me cause he could. please change this attitude as it effects us women more than men and they dont understand no matter how long it went on for and how long it stoped it wil be a lasting scar on us mentaly and physicaly both haunting stopping us moving forward with ease. its a struggle to think posstive about yourself and others and to get through each day without feeling down when bad memories slring to your mind. it has to stop and this blame on women is wrong the blame lie with the men who think this is acceptable when truth is its not.annie, female

Taken from 'The Impact' tab: "take their clothes off and roll around if they choose to." Come to America, if you ever see a woman doing this, Go in the opposite direction before she plays the rape card, otherwise, enjoy trying to prove yourself innocent!R, male

Thank you so much for making this site! Sadly, attitudes like this are still occasionally seen (here in the United States, too) and I'm glad that someone is trying to educate people about and debunk the myths surrounding rape. The site itself is also well-made and visually appealing.Becky, female

i totally agree with this campaign but the "intimacy" picture is a little bit off in my opinion, i mean she has unbuckeld his belt which is a pretty strong suggestion that something will happen, no? im not saying that she has signed a contaract or anything but the ad could have been a little subtlergary, male

i was reading the comment bylouise "A woman has a responsibility to use her common sense. Therefore if a woman doesn't want to have sex with a man, she should not go too far with him. A dance or a kiss is not an invitation to sex. But if she goes home with him, snogs with him, lets him take her knickers off, and then suddenly changes her mind, I think she is guilty of considerable contributory negligence. As for saying that she has the right to say no even during intercourse, good God, do you think men are made of ice or something? Do you think they can just switch it off at will? Louise, female" and agree with her 100% she is the smartest women to have commented. if u put urself in a vulneruble position som preditor wil take some advantage respect louisebob , male

Some people say this campaign is sexist towards men. I think some of these comments are sexist towards men. Men are indeed perfectly capable of stopping at any time when a woman says "No." Some of the above comments suggest that women just lure men into bed so they can mess with them by telling them to stop in the middle. Do these people have any idea how ludicrous that sounds? This is an extremely important issue when it comes to rape. Thank you for pointing it out.Rachael, female

I think this website would be far more effective in rape prevention if people read it than any campaign.http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/bonding_process.htmlJackie, female

How stupid do people think men are by believing that when a woman says "no" during physical intimacy, he's getting "mixed signals"? I, for one, believe men are smarter than that and know that no means no, no matter what the circumstance.Hazel, female

@ CM: If the woman isn't comfortable and says stop, its rape if you continue. If she does it to annoy you, she's not very nice, but its still rape if you continue. One small wrong and one sick violation of human decency don't make a right. "unacceptable degree" makes it sound like you think you're quite justified to have your way and she really should have considered that from the start. @ Louise: Nudity between two people does not imply sex. Foreplay does not even imply sex. Theres a whole spectrum of intimacy between friendship and sex. And of course he can (should be able to) just "switch it off"; its called respect men are not machines that must continue once started. Incidently I think this all rather highlights that couples should talk to each other more, instead of worrying about being judged.G, male

Louise said that men can't switch off at will. That might be true (moreso for some men than others - I'm surprised all men don't find it insulting that they're sometimes viewed and/or portrayed as complete animals with no self-control, and strive to change that image rather than conform to it) - but that doesn't mean that sex has to carry on. If she doesn't want it, it'd be extremely insensitive of him to force it on her just so he can get his satisfaction (which, by the way, can be achieved through other means). The comparitavely tiny gain he gets is nothing compared to the huge losses she incurrs. (Not sure if that makes sense or not...)Trin, female

I have some news for Louise - it doesn't take an iceman to control himself. Of course men can stop during sex. They will likely be left with an erection, but you don't switch off your free will when you're having sex - if a woman says no, you stop - simple as that. Any man claiming that he can't stop after he reaches a certain point should be locked up - he's basically saying that he's not responsible for his actions, which is more or less admitting to being a danger to those around him. The same type of people justify violence against other people because their blood was up.Gareth Simpson, male

What ever happened to personal responsibility? This a totally different situation from the others portrayed in the campaign. If a woman leads a man on up until the very second before penetration, and then withdraws her consent, and the man continues to have sex with her, surely she in partly responsible? If i decide i want to injure myself by lieing down on the middle of the road and letting a car run over the top of me, but then i decide i actually dont want to hurt myself and i stand up at the very moment a car comes around the corner at 30mph knocking me 10 feet in the air. Is it my fault or the drivers fault that i end up a big gooey mess on the road? Women need to take responsibility for their actions, as well as men.Dave, male

That one woman's comment is HORRIBLE; she basically said men have no control over themselves. Her ignorance sickens me.Natty Dread, female

As a rape victim who kissed the rapist before the attack I would just like to highlight the trauma of this form of rape. It does not make it any less terrifying, and there is no such thing as a "nice rape". Whatever reason a woman (or man) has for choosing not to have sex or stop sex it must be listened to or the consequences could be devastating.Lauren, female

Well done for bringing this discussion to public attention. I was "date raped" after a bit of kissing and cuddling, no nudity involved. It took me five years of marriage before I finally plucked up the courage to tell my husband about it, ten years after the rape occurred. I had always blamed myself, thought that if i hadn't been so naiive, too trusting it would never have happened. It took my husband's reaction - of course it was not my fault, I never consented, did not lead him on - to finally realise that naiivety on my part was no excuse on his part. One caveat though - I do think it is equally important to educate our daughters and young women to be more cautious, and to look out for themselves and each other.Had I been more cautious, I could have avoided a situation that gave that man the opportunity to do what he did to me. I am sure that 15 years on, he has pretty much forgotten that it ever happened. I live with it every time my wonderful husband looks at me with desire. I do not deserve that, neither does my husband. If simple caution could prevent it from happening to just one person - it would be worth it.S, female

The frustrating point about rape and sexual assault is that it makes you question yourself rather than the attacker question himself. We need men to become more introspective and empathetic with respect to this issue. Unfortunately I think that the anti-rape cause is not a priority for many men.S, female

OK, men aren't made of ice; but hearing reluctance to have sex or feeling a discomfort in a woman should trigger an immediate stop sign. It takes one big pulsion to rape, but it takes two strong feelings to make love and savour it...Jacques, male

Why is there no forum to discuss these issues? Without a proper forum, this site is wrong. You can not just make such sweeping statements and not have them challenged. Some people may agree with the POV put forward by this site, but a lot of people wont. There should be a platform for proper debate, if they are going to voice views which are as contentious and radical as the ones put forward by this campaign.Anon, male

To the writer, Louise, below who wants to believe that there is a point beyond which men lose control: Doesn't that degrade them? People change their minds about continuing sex all the time, and they should have that inalienable right. Nice to see the support of offender excuses alive and well!Louise, female

Hey Louise, I'm curious as to whether you're okay with exercising the right to change your mind? Have you ever said yes to someone then decided later you don't want to do whatever you agreed to? If you get in a car with a full tank of gas does that mean you're required to drive until the tank is empty?Anonymous, female

OMG I can not beleive what louise said. I nearly got sick reading it. NO they do not have the right to rape you even if your knickers are off. And yes you can say stop at anytime! I am a victim of sexual abuse, so sometimes during sex I need to stop because it is too much.. and my boyfriend totally understands that.. and he does stop! no they are not made of ice but its not that hard to pull out! Jesus! I'd like to slap some people.Cathy, female

Good website. It is appalling that the way that women dress can be blamed for their own sexual assault; so many of these pages just say essentially the same thing - 'men have a right to sex if they want it'. Why has nobody stopped to think of why men can walk around with their sweaty beer guts hanging out with no fear of the consequences? It is truly disgusting.Mog, female

Imagine someone with lots of cash hanging out of all their pockets, taunting poor people and then falling down drunk. If they get robbed, it is an illegal act - but, they ARE partly responsible.The Thirty Percent, male

Very nice site!Pharmb981, male

I know that this is a big issue, because I myself have seen some guys start out sweet and gentle, then change. They think, "she's given in, she want's me, I can have her now" they start to assume that a girl is just playing hard to get, or they believe she owes it to him..... they need a reminder that women are not their property.Cher(notthesinger), female

Thank gods for this website, the number of time morons have said that I wasn't really raped because I'd enthusiastically consented to making out or because I was their girlfriend is just fucking ridiculous.aileenwuornos, female

Wow some of the ignorance displayed here is astounding. Men NEVER lose control of their mind. They can ALWAYS stop. It is incredibly sexist to imply or state otherwise. Also many of the comments here reveal in themselves the victim blaming of society. Perhaps a lady or man is a little foolish , but that doesn't ever justify rape on the part of another.Susan, female

Not to play down the severity of rape, but this campaign seems a little over the top. I feel by having a penis I've somehow committed a crime!Steve, male

My GOD this whole website is COMPLETELY retarded. The whole issue is just plain ridiculous. If you're on top of a guy coming on to HIM and you don't want sex? Move back in with mommy and have her teach you how to function properly in this world. With people like that, I feel that they are 100% accountable for whatever happens. The only one responsible for your own actions is YOU.These NUTS!, male

Great campaign, I wish I had found this site earlier, it would have saved me a month of internal debating. Either way, what do you think, assuming the man honestly DID misread her signals, should he be excused, or at least be forgiven for his mistake? I know not every man who claims this is telling the truth, but this is a hypothetical situation.Jessica , female

Having been raped by a stranger and suffering both physical and mental anguish, how many times does a woman have to tell her partner "no" means NO. I have been there. I was raped one night many many years ago, and when I got home from the hospital, my then partner "wanted to make it better" by having sex to drive the "horrid images outa yer head honey". When I told him no, he forced me anyway. I was raped all over again. Having spoken to many women, girls, men and boys who have found themselves in similar situations, they have had to face the same reaction from people who are meant to protect them or at the very least support them. So - if you are sexually intimate with someone in you in your life, do NOT take the stance my partner did, give the person space and support. Otherwise you are a rapist too.Annie, female

I agree with this website i know how it feels to be treated that way. I had a boyfriend who I did kiss and hug, be he always wanted more he would make feel bad for not going on to sex, In the end he tried to force me to, at a friends house, and when i started to cry before he did anything he broke up with me and left me crying. I was 14 at the time, I belive just cause a girl flirts with a guy and ends up dating him doesnt means she is ready for sex or even wants to.AB, female

legally, i'm convinced. i'll never try to hook up with a girl again. on a rational note, though, this is giving today's young girls carte-blanche to go out wearing nothing on some self-righteous moral basis. and that's dangerous, because you won't convince many men to change their minds.Marco, male

I agree with this, and totaly support this campaign. You are doing a great job. :)Amadeus, male

Can I just say, because I feel very strongly about this issue...the idea that a woman can't change her mind because perhaps she feels uncomfortable is absolutely horrendous...for example what if you are in a relationship and have a medical condition (like I did) which can cause pain during sex...and because of that you need to stop...are you trying to imply that men are such neanderthals that they can't stop and that women should go through the trauma of enduring pain....how is that a loving relationship...and what about people who have things like penetration anxiety? When couples with that problem go to places like Relate they actually advise you to be intimate and to take the emphasis off penetration. Rape is a violent act.Ceriane, female

I was the girl in the photo. We kissed in his car. I never intended to have sex that night. I obviously made him think otherwise. He raped me twice.Sarah, female

This happened to me last night with a 'friend' who I flirt with but it was not an invitation, I dont think he sees it as rape even though he pinned me down and pulled my knickers down etc I'm glad you're doing this campaign it really is needed though I think it is going to take a lot to make attitudes change especially male attitudes. For some of the negative female comments, I think it is so easy to judge from the outside looking in its not until it happens that you have an understanding. Its just down to a total lack of disrespect really, whats worse is that I have a boyfriend which makes the situation harder to deal with. I would like to tell him but I dont think he would understand.S, female

I met a guy, he came back to mine and we had sex. we then had sex again and ive never been in so much pain, so i told him to stop, shouting at him to stop, trying to push him off me. only for him to hold my arms down and carry on, harder, causing me more pain. this then happened twice after. causing the same amount of pain, me shouting, having to kick him off me, him carrying on. I get both sides of this. how can i say anything after i had initially consented to sex, I was the one that said it was ok at first. But then when it wasnt ok, i beleive he should of stopped, regardless of me consenting earlier. I feel that yes this was my fault, but i dont think its right for me to feel like that. He should of stopped.L, female

@Dave, male: it is the LAW that you can withdraw consent AT ANY TIME. If the man forces himself on the woman, continues sex when she has said no- THAT IS RAPE. THAT IS THE FACT. STOP BLAMING WOMEN. You disgust me and THAT IS EXACTLY why this campaign exists. YOU ARE NEVER OBLIGED TO HAVE SEX. Have some fucking decorum. idiotKelly, female

Some comments here, by both MEN and WOMEN are absurd. Do some of you have a normal thinking process? Are you educated? And most of all, can you EMPATHIZE WITH FELLOW WOMEN AND MEN? Regardless of whether a woman touches your legs for five minutes while kissing you, and is fondling you... and you continue to take off her SHIRT, etc, and she says NO. And she SCREAMS NO. And she CRIES NO. THAT MEANS NO!!!!!!! That means STOP. Claiming that we need to understand male "frustration", "anger", "sexual frustration", etc is RIDICULOUS. HAVE YOU PEOPLE EVOLVED? IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO RAPE A WOMAN IF SHE FONDLES YOU FOR TWO MINUTES... GO SEE A DOCTOR AND BE PUT AWAY FOREVER.Jyssica, female

I actually just got into a conversation in which another woman said, "I tell her that adult MEN generally expect sex when your CROTCH is in his damn face! And I point out that it was a stupid move that could have resulted in rape," and continued by asking, "should I just have let it slide and let whatever was coming to her just "happen?" Excuse me? "Whatever was coming to her..."? Why is it that it's acceptable to expect to be horribly violated, but not acceptable to expect a man to keep it in his pants when asked to do so? Why is it okay to charge the victim with the prevention of violence against their person? Why is it okay to say, "She shouldn't have done/worn/said that," when talking about how someone was horribly violated against her will? Why should the girl she was talking about possibly have it coming to her? I think not only is it horrible for women to live that way, but also disrespectful to the vast majority of men to be viewed as rutting beasts who can't control their penises, and it excuses the behavior of those who don't control them. It is ridiculous to excuse any person from physically assaulting another, no matter the circumstance.Mimi, female

As a victim of rape who belived it was my fault for a very long time. Thank you, i belived that because i was durnk and had danced with him that i had brought it on my self, i hope your message goes global and more women hear that its not there fault.Stephanie, female

Thank you so much for what you're doing. I was raped by a man who I'd consented to other types of sexual activity with. I did not, however, consent to what he chose to do to me - I even stated this, verbally, clearly, multiple times, before he chose to just do it anyway. Still, there are a lot of people out there who would blame me. It was not my fault. It is not the fault of anyone who was in my situation.Anonymous, female

Mimi - that is so true. Not only are the myths about rape horribly damaging for victims, but they manage to be incredibly sexist against both men and women at the same time.Anonymous, female

Exactly. No guy is so excited to the point that he can't stop when she says no. I wish more men would take responsibility for their actions. This is a great campaign, and I'm refreshed to see the new spin you have on it. Don't blame the victim.Chris, male

I run into this mind set all the time. It is why I hide my rape from my friends and my family. NO means NO no matter when it is given.Carly , female

I hope this campaign can teach my peers that my guilt is misplaced. That just because I was okay with it at first, doesn't mean I remained okay with it the whole time. That just because I was not raped, does not mean I have no right to feel the same pain. Bless you. Truly, sincerely, bless you.Meaghan, female

When I was dating this lady a while back, there was an instance where we were getting quite intimate. Without going into too much detail, I'll just say we made it past third base and I was ready to go. As I was opening the condom, I blatantly asked 'Do you want to have sex?' She replied with a 'no' and while I was rather disappointed I knew I had to agree with her decision. So I did and got up off the bed and took a cold shower. Self-control is not that difficult.Andrew, male

This is great, but I would expand this to not only include rape but all types of sexual assault. Consent to one act does not automatically imply consent to another - even if no sexual intercourse is involved. A woman (or a man) has the right to define exactly what they are and are not willing to do with someone else, and that decision is made afresh with each new person and on each day regardless of prior consent.Lana, female

"Why are we willing to remove the blame from rapists by condemning women for engaging in risky behaviour?" Good question. It is because we live under patriarchy, society where men dominate, and we are so used to it that we can't see through it. The stereotype of female as obedient, good girl, who is not supposed to be an independent woman with mind of her own is still alive and well. Patriarchal attitudes need to go.Agnieszka Niemira, female

The idea a woman could in any way feel responsible for her being raped is appalling. If there is even any doubt in the man's mind about is she wants to, he should just ask. Or stop all together!James, male

So... in these situations that you're discussing regarding intimacy, was the male ever asked if he wanted to be intimate with the woman in question? Most times, the answer will be no. It is assumed that we always consent and have no discerning tastes of our own. It is, quite honestly, a double standard on your part to call the non-consensual acts women directly and intentionally perform, such as intimate contact, as fine for women to do to men.Concerned Male, male

When my daughter was 16, she went on a date with a guy who went to her school. He told her he wanted to have sex with her. She said "No!" and asked to be taken home. Instead, he raped her. She is now 23, and she finally told me and her dad what happened. She was so ashamed and humiliated at the timeand she believed she was partly to blamethat she didn't tell anyone that she had been raped. While her dad and I NEVER would've blamed her and done everything in our power to help her, we understand what she was feeling at the time. I have now made it my mission to let girls and women know they are NOT to blame and there IS help. Your campaign helps this mission so much. Thank you!Claire, female

I am pressing charges against my ex because he raped me multiple times. My family is asking me questions that I am not sure how to answer. Questions like, "Why didn't you say anything?" Why are you just now telling us?" and things like that. I feel like they don't believe me anymore, even though they've only known for less than 24 hours. Is this normal? Or am I unintentionally lying to them?Rachelle, female

Agree with all the comments below. Showing form of emotion and affection DOES NOT imply any consent for sex. I myself am a victim and was hard to admit it to myself. People need to understand if you invite a female round to your house, does not instantly mean she will want to have sex with you.Dhara, female

Your comments on Drinking

If a woman and a man meet in a bar, both very drunk, neither is capable of making a rational decision, and both wake up in bed together, having had sex. Why is the man charged with rape? If she decifes de facto that she didn't want to have sex then the law holds him accountable regardless of whether she consented at the time. (In addition no jury would ever convict her of rape if he charges her)A Devil's Advocate, male

Challenging the myth that women are responsible if a man rapes them after they have been drinking is excellent. However, as always we have rape apologists attempting to derail this campaign. No woman ever charges a man with rape lightly. Consider the consequences for the woman when she reports a known man has raped her. Cases wherein both rapist and victim are drunk are rare. Research has consistently shown rapists deliberately ply a woman with alcohol in order to reduce her level of resistance. Pseudo claims that if a woman and man have penetrative sex after both have been drinking and the man allegedly is charged with rape are in fact myths. Fact is rapists are opportunists they deliberately seek out women they perceive as 'easy to conquer.' Rape is both about male sexual access and male power over women.BREEZE, female

Devils Advocate, you seem to be intimitating that false allegations of rape are made on a regular basis when in fact, according to police statistics, they sit at around 3% - the same as for any other crime. The notion that women 'cry rape' frequently is yet another rape myth to engender women blaming. Given that the vast majority of women don't even report what has happened to them - because they fear they won't be believed or will be made to feel it is their fault or because they will have to endure further trauma by the legal process - and the fact that the conviction rate for rape in this country stands at 2.9% I think you need not lose any sleep about your fictional man. Why not play devils advocate with your friends or workmates instead who, like you, probably do buy into or believe many of the myths that place responsibility for rape on women. You could challenge their attitudes, maybe starting with the question, 'shouldn't men who rape take responsibility for their actions?'. Admittedly this would be more difficult and challenging for you than posting anonymously on the internet and propagating the prevalant myths that this campaign seeks to undermine, but it would be more in the spirit of being a true devils advocate and you might actually begin to understand the level of difficulty women face on this issue.Reality, female

You say that women don't lightly charge a man with rape yet there are increasing cases where men are falsely charged with this offence due to the "embarassment" of the women when caught in the act or even that she has deemed it a poor choice. This I feel is disgusting and the fact the man is publically abused during his trial while the women gets to keep her identity secret even once the man has been cleared. I believe these women themselves should be jailed for their actions.Johnny, male

Firstly there is no excuse for rape - no means no. But i cant help but feel 'Devils Advocates' point is being missed. Reality and Breeze you obviously have very strong views on this and rightfully so. However as a man in his early 20's who likes to drink i have gotten myself into a situation where i indeed dd wake up in bed with a girl after a night out with no real memory. My first reaction was worry about how this (equally drunk girl) was going to react. In the end there was no issue and everything was fine. Im not saying that being too drunk to say no is an excuse but i think Devils A has brought up a good point for discussion.Max, male

Just be careful your not inciting that if a girl gets drunk and pulls a guy, then regrets it the next morning she doesnt scream "rape". cause thats not fair.Mike, male

I do not have sex with women who are black out drunk. I realize that sex has become completely worthless in our society, but maybe men are the ones "asking for it" when we sleep with a woman who can hardly even stand and who is not going to remember what happened the night before.Ray, male

I think Devil's Advovocate does have a fair point. Arguably the law of rape has no place in situations where both parties are genuinely as drunk as each other, there has been no coercion, and both wake up in the morning with only a vague recollection of what has happened. Let's be honest tho - a charge of rape would never be brought in these circumstances. Where the law must intervene is in situations where men are deliberately going to bars and clubs looking for very drunk women to target. We need to change how this is viewed - its not 'taking advantage'. It's rape.Jemima, female

Johnny, can you give me a source for this assertion that there are increasing false reports of rape due to women being embarassed? I think it's interesting that so many people refuse to accept the many pieces of research and studies that show women are unlikely to make false allegations of rape, yet confidently repeat myths that have been around for years. If women's groups talk about anecdotal evidence from survivors of rape they are asked to come up with hard facts yet these ridiculous myths continue to be believed in the face of those hard facts which ridicule them. Wake up, for God's sake!Laura, female

There have been two cases recently (in the past year) that have involved men being wrongly accused then detained in prison whilst their fingerprints, DNA and other personal details were taken. One of them had a wife, who due to the media releasing his details, left him. Of course, they were both (eventually) cleared, but not before suffering abuse from vigilantes, mutterings from old ladies and evil glances from pretty much everyone in public. Having said that, the female accuser was jailed for a few months - but the male victim had to move out because the community had already decided - that he was a rapist because he was tarnished with the accusation of being one.Ryan, male

This country has too much of an "alcohol culture". Whatever trouble you get yourself in while intoxicated, be you male or female and whether you get raped, mugged or run over as you stagger across the street you need to accept responsibility and realise that this would probably not have happened had you not been out of your face.sober, female

If a woman can be considered too drunk to consent to sex, doesn't that mean a rapist can be considered too drunk to consent to rape?Anon, male

Well, if a man is 'plying a woman with alcahol' should she not have the wit to notice that he is doing this? Are women completely brainless? Do women have NO responsibility for their own behaviour At All?Louise, female

In a new world that profits on the fear of individuals, this is not only exploitative to young females but also abusive to the average man. Remind yourself that you all have fathers and often thoroughly decent men in your family; do you remind them not to rape? An absolutely disgraceful campaign; shame on you all.John smith, male

Wow, TWO whole cases. Um, grasping at straws much? Fact: rape is predominantly committed by MEN. The old "oh, but TONS of women falsely accuse men of rape" is OLD, TIRED, CLICHE. PLEASE educate yourselves; you really need it.Doctress Julia, female

Louise, have you not heard of anything called a date rape drug or spiking? People can be tricked about how much alcohol is in their drink. Heck, people were able to get drunk just by thinking that some root beer was spiked, tasting alcohol when there was none. Further, until I see evidence of this same level of victim-blaming for other crimes, I'm interpreting your post as classic "it's always the woman's fault" tripe.Charlotte, female

In Australia, our anti-rape ads tell us that drinking as a female leaves you wide open to rape. A campaign like this is so refreshing to see.Annie, female

Some of the people above make me very sad, and are part of the reason I never reported my rape to the police... far more often than females falsely accusing males, are women who don't speak out about what happened to them, often due to feelings of self-doubt, fear of facing their rapist again, fear of being judged, or a real recognition that the legal system is not set up to protect victims. Yes we all have a responsibility to watch our alcohol and drug consumption, but how many Scots can honestly say they haven't had 1 or 10 too many on the odd occasion. But no-one has the right to take advantage of you just because you are wasted - if anything I would like to think that people would want to put you in a taxi home, not try to have sex with you. I'm gay - and before you say it, I don't hate men at all, but I have no interest in men sexually. Yet the man who raped me still thought I wanted it because I was out of my face and unable to push him away or to say no. Since then I have had nightmares, flashbacks, I have moved house, changed the way I look felt depressed and suicidal, and even self-harmed all as a result of what happened to me that night. I am not some deranged person.... I was just f****d over by someone, and one night, when I thought I was going to a party with people I could trust, I realised to my peril that unfortunately, a person being so wasted that they can't stand up or talk somehow seems like a turn on to some people. So you above can judge this campaign, and judge women for getting drunk or wasted, but I hazard a guess you are speaking as people who have never been raped yourself. I wish this campaign had been around when I was first raped... it would have allowed my healing process to begin much quicker. And again, I don't hate men, and I don't think that all men are rapists... but the one I met on Boxing night 2 years ago was.G, female

@ Doctress Julia, female So they don't matter, I presume? 2 cases in the past year alone (in headline media, I'm sure false allegations are made every weekend) is 2 ruined lives, reputation destroyed and life threatened for something you didn't do. Ever know that feeling? Nope, because the ball is in your park. The truth is that ANY woman in the close vicinity of ANY man can accuse of abuse and harassment - that is more than enough to endanger lives.Ryan, male

If a female gets herself drunk and the has sexual intercourse, the following morning wakes up and thinks she must have been raped because she wouldn't normally have had sex, this puts the innocent male in trouble and does not do any good for actual rape incidents.M, male

I believe women or young teenagers who drink excessively are putting themselves in a vunerable position for rape, I would still drink on a night out but within moderation.AS, 19, female

This one is getting more common-people need to be able to hold their drink. I don't drink and one reason i don't is because of the state i see some people in, and the things these people do! I have seen so many girls getting drunk and almost taken advantage of or even guys taken advantage ofTom, male

Rape is too much of a token word that feminists throw around to make themselves feel better about how slutty they are. When a man and a woman have sex, both are responsible, yet for some reason you want the man to have to take responsibility for the whole interaction in case the woman is slightly intoxicated. My male friend was raped by a girl when he was drunk, yet nobody took him seriously when he told people about it. I think its time for you to drop your double standards and look at the bigger picture.gary, male

I was out one night and ended up very very drunk. A guy I know offered to drive me home - needless to say I don't remember much, but the next morning I was very sore in my genital area. I realised we had had intercourse I felt totally sick. Had I not been so drunk this would definately not have happened. In response to one of the comments posted (M, male) I think the male has to take some responsibility especially in the case I am describing as the male was sober (hence driving his car) and without a doubt knew how extremely drunk I was and therefore must have known my judgement was impaired, yet still took advantage of the situation, it doesnt sound much like an innocent male to me there.anon, female

When a woman is drinking and has her drink spiked, it is in no way ever her fault. It happened to me on holiday on my 16th birthday, I thought I was safe I was with my brother and a friend and I got separated from them. It's disgusting, terrifying and life changing. I never told anyone because I was too afraid to do anything about it. I don't want others to feel the same way I did.Elly, female

Some of the above comments are pretty disturbing in how much they place the blame onto victims of crime. I see it like this. If a man was sitting, out of his face at the side of the road and some one decided to bottle him over the head he would not be told 'well, you should have been expecting it'. So why if a woman is drunk and she is raped is it even considered that she is to blame or that 'she was asking for it'Cat, female

So, a man can be held accountable for his drunken actions but a women can't? I smell double-standards!A Sexist Prick, AMIRITE?!, male

As a young female student in Scotland, I believe that women should not use alcohol as an excuse. This is not meant to sound horrible. I myself have been in a situation of rape before. However, I do believe that as a woman you should not accept a drink from a unknown person on a night out unless you accompany them to the bar and personally take your drink from there. Plus one needs to know their limits and not get totally trashed..that just leads to a horrible night for everyone involved. The issue of reporting a rape just because you are "embarrassed" by it, is ridiculous and women who do that should get seriously prosecuted for doing this.Mo, female

I have no faith in our society if websites like this have to be created. If you are drunk, and get into a fight with someone that's sober, you are more likely you to be charged yet, if a drunk woman and sober man have intercourse, it's the man that's at fault. We shold not charge our opinions on rape. We should change, as a country our addiction to drink!Jill Pritchard, female

** THIS IS A DUPLICATE POST AS THE OTHER HAD A NAME ADDED*** The media likes to report false accusations because they like to push the status quo, they like to mimic myths that much of the (uneducated) public already buys into, also, most of the higher ups in the media, who decide what to report on are also male, it's no surprise that they would be ALL OVER a story about "false rape". Thing is, just because 2 stories are reported in the media, doesn't mean that the millions of other rapes are "false" too. Just because you see one albino chicken, doesn't mean all chickens are albino. One commenter said "but what about those two men who had their lives ruined"...Excuse me? Are you serious? What about the hundreds of thousands of millions of women who have their lives ruined because they were raped by a man? The "false rape" tripe is MRA BS. The amount of "false rapes" compared to the the number of "actual rapes" is pittance. "fake rape" is something that rape apologists bring up to put all of the blame on women. It's old, it's tired, it's wrong, and it's certainly not born out by FACTS. According to the FBI approximately 8% of accusations are "unfounded"...The number of false reports are assumed to be lower, because the "unfounded" number includes women who also don't want to continue on with investigation/prosecution for whatever reason (and by the way it's well known that many women don't want to investigate/prosecute because of re-traumatization, fear of retaliation, fear of not being believed etc. etc. However, whoever gave the 3% statistic should site where that was from. It's obvious that all these man harping about "false rape" just don't want to FACE THE TRUTH about this. Perhaps they are too ashamed, perhaps they think it's okay to rape women, perhaps they are just immorally corrupt and can't have an honest discussion that they have to lie about facts. Whatever the reasons, it's people like them who continue these absurd myths, and continue to defend rapists, and it is part of the reason why we live in such a women hating society where a women is raped every 2 seconds. Here's another fact for all you MRA's out there, according to the department of justice 99% of all rapists are male.Anonymous, female

The media likes to report false accusations because they like to push the status quo, they like to mimic myths that much of the (uneducated) public already buys into, also, most of the higher ups in the media, who decide what to report on are also male, it's no surprise that they would be ALL OVER a story about "false rape". Thing is, just because 2 stories are reported in the media, doesn't mean that the millions of other rapes are "false" too. Just because you see one albino chicken, doesn't mean all chickens are albino. One commenter said "but what about those two men who had their lives ruined"...Excuse me? Are you serious? What about the hundreds of thousands of millions of women who have their lives ruined because they were raped by a man? The "false rape" tripe is MRA BS. The amount of "false rapes" compared to the the number of "actual rapes" is pittance. "fake rape" is something that rape apologists bring up to put all of the blame on women. It's old, it's tired, it's wrong, and it's certainly not born out by FACTS. According to the FBI approximately 8% of accusations are "unfounded"...The number of false reports are assumed to be lower, because the "unfounded" number includes women who also don't want to continue on with investigation/prosecution for whatever reason (and by the way it's well known that many women don't want to investigate/prosecute because of re-traumatization, fear of retaliation, fear of not being believed etc. etc. However, whoever gave the 3% statistic should site where that was from. It's obvious that all these man harping about "false rape" just don't want to FACE THE TRUTH about this. Perhaps they are too ashamed, perhaps they think it's okay to rape women, perhaps they are just immorally corrupt and can't have an honest discussion that they have to lie about facts. Whatever the reasons, it's people like them who continue these absurd myths, and continue to defend rapists, and it is part of the reason why we live in such a women hating society where a women is raped every 2 seconds. Here's another fact for all you MRA's out there, according to the department of justice 99% of all rapists are male.Nic, female

This is a difficult one and probably the most difficult myth to debunk. I admit I have been guilty of victim-blaming in the past--not to people, but in my mind, thinking, "Well, she shouldn't have been drinking." I had also assumed that false rape accusations were far more common. But I've noticed that western culture seems to be heavily involved with drunk sex. I often see jokes about women needing a few drinks to be ready for sex. The fact of the matter is, if a woman has been drinking, and her partner has not been drinking, and she's begging him for sex, and he agrees, he is taking advantage of her impaired judgment. This is rape. Children have been known to flirt with adults--that doesn't mean that an adult can't be convicted of statutory rape. Someone who has sex with a severely mentally handicapped person is also guilty of rape. When there is any question of ability to make a sound judgment, one of the parties is guilty of rape. It's that simple. I think this myth, although the hardest to debunk, is also the most essential. This was hard to write, and I'm not sure if everything I said made sense. But I hope it did.Rachael, female

Should people be more responsible when they drink? Sure. If someone falls over drunk and splits their lip, go ahead and laugh and point fingers. But when a drunk person is raped, someone else committed that crime. No one is to blame but the rapist. Period. Stop with the victim blaming people.ZoBabe, female

This is an easy one, don't have sex with someone who is drunk. The comments about getting a woman drunk to get her "in the mood" really mean, let's impair her judgement. And there's lots of peer presurre for this. The most common rape drug is alcohol.Linda, female

I am so happy to find this issue to be addressed, i found this site through deviantart.com and it had taken me off gaurd....I was raped when I was 15 and I was intoxicated. The guy that did it was with his friend and clearly knew I was messed up and offered me more alcohol, bottom line he ended up getting drunk aswell but i remember being taken to an abandon house, robotussin being poured down my throat, being disgusted, and waking up cold and alone. That was the way I lost my virginity. I never told anyone. I blamed myself and told myself it was all my fault. The first time I admitted I got raped was in rehab about 1.5 years later, seeing as after that my drug use spiralled into unmanagable addiction. Basically what I'm saying is, women and men need to know that if instances like this occur even alcohol involved you can admit it to yourself and accept it, and I think this site is a really positive thingM, female

I think it is good to raise awareness to help people that have been raped and too prevent it happening in the future by giving people advice. Personally i agree with the above comments, if a women is that drunk that she cant walk etc... a man has no right to have sex with her. But at the same time after reading some of the above comments some people need to take better care of themselves. I mean elly, your not even legally allowed to drink until your 18, so getting wasted on your 16th birthday reguardless of who you were with was putting yourself in danger. Not only because you had been drinking but because you were on holiday and didnt know the area. Iam not saying it was your fault, but just consider if you hadnt been drinking? Its the same for many stories i have heard, alot of my female friends have been in the same situtation and have been raped. I can also agree with gary about rape being thrown around too much. To me i think people in britain drink too much and have too much sex with different partners, and i think the knock on effect is that people become so execpting to have sex that it leads to problems. By no way is every man out there a rapist, but there are men out there who are sick and must be stopped. As for the same for women, there are women who have been raped, but its the ones who cry wolf that dont help the situation. I think we all need to take better care of one and other and stop jumping into bed so quick and actually injoy the finer aspects of relationships and courtship. Sorry about the rant.Peter, male

Rape is wrong! full stop! but this campaign is shocking it's not the correct way to educate people on the subject. and by saying this I am not a rape "apoligist" as quoted by some other comments but a male who feels the poster campaign in the street send a message of making males feel like criminals!steve, male

All of you naysayers and rape apologists should think of only one thing....what if it were your daughter in this situation? Are you sure you'd be so quick to condemn?Anelle, female

Someone above asked, "why do you have to tell people not to rape?" Because people get raped. Regardless, that's not the point of this campaign.Hazel, female

Perhaps people should be more careful when suggesting that a woman was "asking for it". In saying that a woman is "asking to be raped" if she gets paralytically drunk, I would hope that people don't mean that she is fair game. It is clear that getting so drunk that you can't walk, talk or think properly is stupid anyway, whatever gender you are. Rape cases against men aside, if a man was to get ridiculously drunk I would be concerned that they'd be "asking to be" mugged for example. This in no way excuses the mugger or rapist, it is just an acknowledgement that muggers and rapists exist and that people should look out for themseleves and for their friends. On the subject of sober man, drunk woman, I should hope that most men would feel uncomfortable in this situation due to the moral implications. If both are drunk to any degree, both have impaired judgement. The fact of the matter is, however, that a lot of people have sex while drunk. I reckon that it should be classed as rape if either party should have reasonably known that the other party did not want to consent, or was not capable of making that decision. I agree that it's not a conclusion that should be drawn in the light of sobriety and regret the following morning, but memory loss / drunkeness can't excuse crime. I suppose its the difference between thinking "oh I can't believe we ended up in bed together, I wouldn't have had I been sober", and "I feel like he knew he was taking advantage of (raping) me" or "i think he spiked my drink / deliberately got me drunk". And just to conclude I think rape is an awful crime, and I think the prosecution rate is a great failing of our legal system. I think this campaign is in part doing what its supposed to be doing already, by forcing people to think about what rape is, and how it is perceived.G, male

this is a joke. we dont need a website to tell us thisDF, male

The whole drinking culture and idea among men that you have to 'get a bird back' on a saturday night is a bad one. In the highlighted cases, had the man thought, tnis girl is not in a condition to consent, I won't the case WOULD NOT HAVE ARISEN. I had a one night stand when I was younger. This woman came back to mine with the promise of some cocaine. We snorted and chatted for a bit and when we went to bed we had sex - she initiated. The next morning she did express some minor regret and joked that she would acuse me of rape just in a passing comment. She obviously wouldnt and didnt. Whilst we kept in touch any chance of anything further had dissapeared in that night. It made me realise how vulnerable women are when intoxiactaed and how this can affect their judgement. I have never had a one night stand since. I will only take a number and am now in a relationship that probably would not have resulted if a one night stand had occured when we met. IF A WOMAN IS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRINK OR DRUGS A MAN SHOULD KNOW THAT SEX SHOULD NOT OCCUR. IT IS NOT THE WOMANS FAULT IF SEMI/NON CONSENSUAL SEX OCCURES WHEN INTOXICATED. Whilst I do sympathise with men who are blatently flasely accused, it is not the drinking culture but the practice among men of cajoling intoxicated women into sex that needs to change.chris, male

to the people who are saying that being drunk and forced into sex is not rape, what if the girl drunk is your best friend or your sister? are you going to be the one to tell them it is their own fault? that if they hadn't been drunk it wouldnt have happened? surely its still wrong if the girl did not want it to happen at the time. no means no whatever the situation.carol, female

In response to Devil's Advocate, I think it's an interesting point. If both parties are extremely drunk and have impaired judgement, the girl (or guy) can't knowingly consent, but the guy (or girl) isn't knowingly ignoring that consent that hasn't been given, does this mean rape took place? If neither party realises they're taking advantage/being taken advantage of, where does the responsibility lie?Angela, female

Drunken consent is still consent declared Justice Roderick Evans. I feel he is correct, and I also agree with 'Devil's Advocate' - two people who are drunk end up having sex - if he accused her of rape, it would be laughed at long and hard, whilst she is expecting the full force of law to come down on him if she accuses him. Yes - men must take responsibility for their actions and be made accountable irrespective of a womans actions, dress etc. Women must also take responsibility for their actions. I agree that dress, previous behaviour etc shouldn't be judged but acohol, and other drugs taken freely by the woman does cloud the issue (spiking of drinks etc is another thing entirely). If a person (male or female) is so drunk they can't remember what happened then there is no way of knowing if consent was given at the time, and an 'oh sh*t, I shouldn't have done that - he raped me' response later, when sober, isn't good enough.A survivor, female

This is an often-confused issue. There is a distinction to be drawn between someone putting themselves in a dangerous situation, and then being responsible for crimes commited against them. It's true - it's never a good idea to get blootered. That goes for everyone. It does make you less capable of defending yourself from attack of any sort. But let's not muck about - even if you are incapable of defending yourself, you still have the absolute right not to be molested. Even if you're dead drunk, unconscious, on the floor, nobody has the right to do anything to you, except perhaps put you in the recovery position and call you a numpty. The perpetrator of any crime committed against someone under the influence - theft, assault, rape or anything - is the responsibility of the perpetrator, not the victim. Oh, and guys, stop harping on about cases of a few men who were unjustly accused of rape and how it affected their lives - I'm sure it's terrible if that happens to you, but there are thousands of women raped in Scotland every year, and most of them never see any justice. So, while I'm not saying that we want to see more injustice against men to balance things up, let's just bear in mind what the real problem is here, yes?Gareth Simpson, male

I see your campaign doesn't highlight the cases we hear of women DESTROYING mens lives by crying rape. It's all too easy to cry rape after a boozy night out. I remember reading stories about guys who eventually get proved innocent after losing their jobs, homes and everything they worked for because of false claims. Their names are in the paper with threats of long jail sentences. What happens to the woman who get found guilty of making false claims? A few hours community service. I'm sorry this campaign sickens me. It's so sexist I can't beleive. Rape is a terrible thing, but to unfairly tar ALL men with the same brush using these sensationalist adverts is not right. Remember men are your grandfathers, fathers, brothers and sons. Please don't stigmatise one half of the population. Your campaign has gone too far, we aren't all bad guys!scott, male

@ Reality, female 3% of false allegations are still quite alot. And keep in mind rape is a tricky thing, unlike other crimes where you KNOW it's a crime just by it happening, with rape, the action is not the crime the intent is. Therefore it comes down to one big contest of who is more credible based on surrounding opinion. If the man admits to having sex with the woman but says she gave consent, thats all it really is, one big he said she said. And people are prone to taking the womans side by default. So while I agree that many women do not report rape, I seriously doubt that false allegations are only 3%reality male, male

how dare you suggest this is a womans fault? i was raped by a man who deliberately got me drunk and that i thought i could trust. When you've been screaming for someone to stop then maybe you won't be so judgemental.17, female

Dudes, this is why you shouldn't have it off with any lassie whilst she's drunk - It's your responsibility as men. It's not fair, it's sexist and it's not right, but it's the Law.James, male

By police own statistics only 3% of rape allegation fall into the catagory of "false allegation" the same percentage as any other crime. It is one of the great rape myths that women "cry" rape after regretting sex. It is predicted that up to 90% of rapes go unreported. The horror and trauma that a woman has to undergo after making an allegation of rape is so severe that no one would willingly go through with it. The whole concept of consent needs to be re-thought as currently, wives, daughters, girlfriends and mothers all over the country are being raped and ignored by society. A woman who submits to the pressure of sex is not necessarily consenting and men need to be aware that women are not simply here to satisfy their sexual urges.Concerned, female

why cant men acknowledge the problem with rape is down to them? as soon as t is raised they raise flank issues to detract from and overwhelmingly male created problem. Perhaps if men for once stood up to fight against it then women could concentrate on battling with the minority of false cases and the issues that arise therein. Until there is some kind of admittance from guys that they never chase this issue down themselves I couldnt care less if some bloke somewhere was wrong;y accused. Certainly not when the woman was imprisoned as a result. Thousands of women myself inclucded live with the consequences of never seeing their case go to trial because of the huge issues that face us down.alison, female

'whether you get raped, mugged or run over as you stagger across the street you need to accept responsibility and realise that this would probably not have happened had you not been out of your face' so if a girl is overpowered abused and violated after having a drink she should be held responsible? you think that girls who drink are all sluts who are asking to be raped? how close minded prejudiced and judgemental is that! i have a friend who was raped at a party, she'd had two drinks but the guy was twice her size and she couldnt fight him off. was it her fault because she'd been drinking? did she lead him on by having a glass of wine and talking with her friends?katie, female

Ryan and Devil's advocate - well, your comments really cement the attitudes this campaign is trying to redress! Firstly - devil's advocate, there is a very big difference between a "rape" and a "regret" in the morning! Believe me, as a victim of rape whilst drunk (asleep in my own bed, actually), and of a very different feeling of "woops" the next day, both situations are very different. Rape is not about feeling regret for something you consented to at the time - it's a crime that is committed when that person says "no" at ANY POINT, even if there was some form of consent initially, and also where a victim is INCAPABALE OF SAYING NO, which does not make it a yes, for example being too drunk to say no. I should not have to alter my behaviour - rapists should. Men's mentality should. And Ryan - with only 2.9% of trials for rape being convicted in Scotland, I'd say that these men might very well have been guilty. So re-think your attitudes. It's time men started taking responsibility and accepting rape as THEIR issue. It's never OK, it's never the victim's fault, and there is never an excuse.frustrated, female

We need to look into the number of rape cases that don't even get to court due to 'lack of evidence', because people drop out before court or the perpetrators who don't ever get charged and put this in context with the number of cases where 'women are crying rape'. A bit of perspective please. It's about time we realised that drinking isn't a crime...rape and sexual assult is.Anonymous, female

Assuming previous posters are right, and 3% of men are wrongfully charged with rape, unlike other crimes of mistaken identity, that is clear cut malice. So by saying that no woman would ever report rape lightly, is a fallacy. What you should say is that it is not common. Secondly, nowhere on this site does it indicate how the "low" conviction rates for rape can be changed. Reason - rape cases are generally a question of he said - she said, and since it is better that a hundred guilty go free so that we dont jail an innocent, the law will not convict merely on she-said. Third - since there is no easy way to prove either side in a common rape allegation of he said - she said, women need to protect themselves, and I find this site to be counterproductive. It encourages women to dress as they please, tease as they please, all because it's not an invitation to rape. Well guess what, it might not be an invitation, but such a lack of personal responsibility puts you in danger, and your ideals wont save you. The law works to prosecute, it cannot prevent. You dont walk through the bad areas of your city when you can avoid it, and these actions are no different. I'm not inviting a a person to rob me, but I still try to avoid it by taking precautions and voluentarily restricting myself. Finally, i understand and can appreciate what this site is trying to accomplish, but it comes off rather sexist. male underreporting for rape is much worse than for women, much like male victims of domestic violence. make your project gender neutral or you will have a backlash against, as the second wave feminists encountered. Because that is exactly how you sound.Practical Points, male

i believe that people do not ask or deserve to be raped ever! however, there are people who rape, who pray, illicit, manipulate and take advantage of individuals and the situation that occurs for their own gratification. therefore i feel that it is my responsibility to minimise the risk to me, i'm aware that if i walk home alone at 3 in the morning that leaves me at risk of attack, i also feel that if i get blind drunk that also leaves me at risk of attack! obviously this is different if i have been plied with alchol or drugs. in neither situation i am at fault- the rapist is!! but i'm aware that rape might happen if that makes sense?? i was sexually abused as a child so do have a level of personal insight i'm also a mother to an adult son and daughter with whom i discuss these issues frankly now and when they were growing up!! there can be discussion on the rights and wrongs of this situation - women should be able to do whatever they like with no risks - period!! however the reality is some men rape!beej, female

Health issues aside, I should be able to drink myself under the table without worrying about being taken advantage of.Lynn, female

Saying that someone wearing skimpy clothes or who is drunk doesn't deserve to get raped is like saying people who drink and drive don't deserve to die. You made that decision now you live with the consequences. Personal responsibility, folks. The backbone of modern society.Bridget, female

I agree fully that being drunk is no excuse for rape being a woman's fault. However, rape is rape- and drunken sex is drunken sex. The two things are vastly different based on consent- the woman consented to drink, so if you feel that disables her ability to consent to sex, then it IS her fault under those circumstances. However, if you believe that consent can be given while drunk, though regretable, it would not be a womans fault.John, male

Drunken consent is still consent just as drunken assault is still assault. If you are so intoxicated you have sex with somebody inappropriate, it is your own fault. It is not rape. As a man I have got drunk and slept with unattractive women. Does the fact that they were soberer than I was, and took advantage of this fact, mean that I was raped by them?Alan, male

Yes sober female, you're quite right. There's NO WAY a man twice my size, strength and weight would manage to overpower and drag me into an alley if I wasn't 'out of my face'. Yes, being drunk makes you a little lax with inhibition but it does NOT give anyone the right to pin the blame or say "I told you so". It is ridiculous to think that just because a woman has a drink in her she is somehow responsible for the actions of the dumb animal they call "rapist". It is her decision to drink and his decision to assault. Think before you type.Outraged, female

i find it absolutely insane! i was recently raped and my girlfriend and friend got punched in the face leaving my friend with two black eyes, even so! the guy got away with it all he was charged with three things and got away with it all! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN! i still cant get my head around it and i really think something needs to be done because its not fair!sammy, female

In response to some of the comments here: if a mugger were to turn up to court and say that *of course* s/he attacked and robbed someone, they were *drunk*, nobody would put the responsibility for the theft on the victim and refuse to prosecute the criminal. It's a ridiculous argument no matter what the crime is, and rape and sexual assaults are *crimes*, not slips of judgement.Suz, female

Funny that there is a widely held view that women should not drink if they don't want to get raped, but not that men should stay sober if they don't want to get mugged or attached. Women are blamed when crimes are committed against them and men are not - a very important distinction. If a woman says 'no' or is in fact too out-of-it to say 'yes', don't have sex with her. It's not that difficult!Sue, female

If a woman gets raped because she is vulnerable due to being under the influence of alcohol then she is to blame.Anthony, male

I have to say that the issue of alcohol is a lot harder to be clear cut on. But I would never respect a man that would go after someone that was off their face. A good man would put her to bed, cook her breakfast, and see if she was interested in the morning, she she was sober. If you're just a bit tipsy I think you are still able to consent. But so frequently it is the case that the victim was UNCONSCIOUS during the act. How can you blame the victim when this is the case? No-one deserves to be raped, to have to go through that trauma, and the possibility of being pregnant or having an STD just because they decided to have a few too many drinks. It is legal to drink after all.Katherine, female

I am really torn on this issue. Whilst it is definately not right atall for a man to take advantage of a drunk woman, and i think that if she wishes she should be able to drink if she wants. It is hard to prove something that neither one may not be able to fully remember. Either way bad things are going to happen; whether it is injustice for a woman who was raped and unable to prove that she did not consent, or, a wrongful conviction for an innocent man who had a one night stand. I don't know that this problem can ever really be solved!Hayley, female

Actually, if one is stupid enough to get drunk beyond control, then yes, it is your fault. We now know the effects of alcohol. We know that it lowers inhibitions. Women wanted empowerment, but they don't want the responsibility for it. If you must get drunk, do so in a safe environment, or limit yourself to a couple of drinks if you insists on going out. Trust me, a girl on my floor freshman year of college almost ruined a guy's life because she drunkenly agreed to sex, then tried to call rape. Thankfully, she later admitted to false accusations.Anti-feminist Woman, female

to "sober, female" - just because that idea may make you feel safer, "above" the risk of being raped, does not make it logical, accurate, moral, or ethical. people who live in glass houses can't afford to throw stones - and however much you might like to distance yourself from the rest of your gender, we are all stuck in a bloody greenhouse as long as men keep raping - and getting away with it.Isabel, female

People seem to focus on a lot on false accusations and use them as a reason not to believe genuine victims. It may seem like false accusations happen all the time because they are in the paper...but due to the very fact they are deemed a worthy news story shows how rare they actually are. Don't let a few malicious women alter your view of all women. Also, to sober female - a criminal makes the decision to rape/mug etc staying sober won't stop an attack if the criminal really wants to commit the crime.Anon, female

Seriously people? What is wrong with everyone! Don't put yourself into a position of weakness if you don't plan on being taken advantage of, plain and simple.Anonymous, female

Wow - it is always pretty uncomfortable reading some of these comments. To Lynn - you are very right, unfortunately there are situations where we are more at risk and we should be vigilant and try to be as careful as possible. Sadly sometimes we can be unlucky despite all precautions possible. Also, who can we protect ourselves from our father, brother, boyfriend, friend or husband who is statistically more likely to perpetrate sexual violence against us than some stranger on a dark street. The reporting rate for rape is shockingly low and DECREASING. The stats indicate that only 1 in 5 women report and only a fraction of those that report go to court and again, less than 3% of those 'successful' cases result in conviction. There is no other crime with stats like these! In fact there are reports that police are taking women to court for wasting police time of they choose not to pursue the case. Being a witness to your own rape and having to answer degrading questions in court about your sexual activity, being judged by a jury who are judging you (and not generally taking the woman's side by default as someone else suggested) with only a 3 in 100 chance of getting a guilty charge secured is enough to daunt anyone, don't you think? Wouldn't you perhaps just try to move on and try to accept the terrible thing done to you rather than press charges? I would. Whether or not to report is a decision each person has to make by themself and it is not an easy decision - Rape Crisis do a great job of trying to get more information out about the process as unfortunately many people are under-informed. This campaign aims to take some of the judgement away from the survivor (male or female) and back with the rapist who is more than likely to get away with his crime and it is the survivor who has to suffer the consequences and make all the decisions about reporting, STDs, pregnancy, who to tell etc etc etc... Why don't we all try for some more compassion and stop looking at it as men vs women and look at it as criminals vs victims of crime? Perhaps this is the 'bigger picture' the chauvinist feminist hater meant... Also, well done to everyone who has shared their stories here - that takes guts folks, you are the survivors however and whatever happened!Informed, female

Woman who put themselves at risk of rape via alcohol should accept responsibility for being raped because it's avoidable.Anthony, male

what do some of you people not get, how can rape be a womans fault if she was drunk! it just makes the offender even more of a preditor because he is seeking out those who arent fully able to defend themselves. drunk girls want to enjoy themselves like drunk guys do. they dont want sex! drunk sex and raping a drunk girl are 2 different things! get a grip people!kayleigh, female

Yes, being blind drunk is silly. But you can't take responsibility for being raped, or mugged. It's not the same thing as getting run over, which is an accident. The person raping you or mugging you is responsible. They are making the decision to harm you - why is this so difficult for people to comprehend?Ilestlouis, female

This site loses some credibility with this section. If women want to be treated like the equal people that they are, they should separate themselves from anyone who would cast away their own personal responsibility. Sometimes you can get yourselves into situations you'd normally have a better job of staying out of when intoxicated. Unless some weirdo at the bar puts a syringe of everclear in your arm and you don't notice, you have no one to blame but yourself for getting too drunk to think, regardless of any peer pressure.Ignore me I'm a..., male

I'm commenting in response to two comments featured under the "Recent" tab from Ryan and A Devil's Advocate. First of all, while false rape accusations exist, they're extremely rare. The percentage of rape accusations that are proven to be conclusively false is extremely low. Yes, it happens and yes, that's wrong, but too many people act as if it happens all the time when it does not. Also, when a man and a woman are both wasted and go home together (and neither person conspired to get the other one drunk) then you're right, and neither person should be accused of rape. And guess what? That's very rare too. It's these kind of assumptions that make rape convictions so incredibly low. The bottom line is that I should be able to be completely wasted and walk around naked and not be attacked. If someone had sex with me in that situation, they are a rapist, pure and simple.Christina, female

this really worries me, what do I teach my sons? Get close to a woman and risk her ripping your life to shreds, it happens. If I had daughters I would be concerned that she equally has her life ripped to shreds. Do I turn my sons into social retards?adrian, male

If a male is extremely intoxicated a male cannot perform. The onus is on the male to ensure that the female is in a fit state to consent. It will not kill the male if he does not have sex, if he thinks she is drunk what difference would it make to leave it and wait till shes sober?? Obviously alcohol makes this a very complex area, however if someone committs murder and is intoxicated they will not be pardonned due to be drunk? Same goes for a male having sex with an extremely drunken female. If a female is very intoxicated, where she is unable to walk, unable to get changed, sick then she is in no fit state to have sex with. If you look at the law, you dont have to be unconscious from voluntary intoxication for it not to be rape. You have to be extremely intoxicated and not capable of being able to consent. Basically if in doubt of a females drunken state don't have sex. It will not kill you to go one night without having sexUnkown, female

The premise here is skewed. Alcohol is obviously not an "excuse" for rape and framing the issue of alcohol as it relates to rape cases as you have here confuses the point. Rather the question is whether consent--explicit or implied--is nullified by a state of intoxication. If anything there is a double-standard that seems to absolve women of their actions (that action being to engage in sex) if they made an adult decision to drink alcohol where the same is not true of men. I agree with Justice Evans when he says, "Drunken consent is still consent." Unless someone literally force-feeds her the alcohol or drugs her without her knowledge, if she gives consent or takes active participation in the encounter then it is absolutely not rape, no matter how drunk or high she is.femenist, male

My 15yr old was drinking & her & her friend asked a guy to buy them drink, which he did. Her pal wanted to go up the woods to drink it so they went followed by the guy. Her pal said she was going to the toilet, whenever came back. My daughter is afraid of the dark she had no torch, she tried to look for her pal but couldn't find her.She got lost in woods & ended up staying there, the guy kept pestering her for sex she said no, he kept on she kept saying no untill she got so tierd she said yes to get peace. Then once he was done told him to get of which he did. The police say this is consent how can this be so. ?Sue, female

Drunk women who are raped need to accept some responsibility.anthony, male

The media likes to dwell on the few cases that are misrepresented, but a far greater number are unreported. We have to remember in order to encourage all sexual assault survivors to get the help they need, we need to place the emphasis on the vast under reporting, not the few outliers, so survivors know they have support and will be believed.Cassie, female

I agree with the vast majority of this campain. The principles underlying the arguments are reasonable for any liberal society. However, with regards the drinking issue I find some fault if only with the presentation of the information. Yes, it is true that some men seek to take advantage of women who are intoxicated by drink or other means and that some men use their own intoxication as an excuse. This is true and I accept it. An angle not examined in this article is when consent is given by both parties when both parties may to an observer be seen to be unfit to do so. There are have been rape accusations by women assuming a lack of consent if they don't remember the event later; and in this instance both parties are equally to blame.Tom, male

to all the people who have commented saying that a woman should take responsibility for being drunk and as a result being raped I would say this: just because a woman is drunk it does not give anyone the right to rape her. If she says no it means no. If you think otherwise you are living in another era where women are ignorant and still living in another era where women are inferior to men. Grow up and get off your high horses!Anonymous, female

Either sex put's themselves in danger in a number of different ways if they are drunk beyond control. It's too late to think about what may or may not be legal after the harm has occured. The truth is that the thinking should be done in advance and common sense applied.Chris, male

To say someone needs to take "responsibility" for being raped whilst drunk is akin to saying I should have known that my bible study mate was a predator. In both cases, someone was harmed. Doesn't matter how it occurred. A rapist does not care if you are sober, drunk,or never have slept with a guy. It's a crime of opportunity. No need for a devil's advocate or someone saying the accusation happens more than the action. The action, most times, happen the most. Btw, in both cases a woman was still blamed. The drunk woman for drinking and me for being alone in my own house. Bah.Bubbly, female

I was raped by my ex boyfriend and was (and still am) too afraid to go to the police. He knows what he did, but simply told me I as his girlfriend had no right to refuse him. He was also drunk. Apparently that makes rape acceptable to him. I am proud of who I am, a strong woman who is not going to apologise for my sexuality.Proud, female

if women are to be as sexually free as men then why should they not have at least some responsibility for their conduct when drunk. Because at the moment if 2 drunks have sex, it is for reasons that arnt immediateley obvious the man's problem, despite the fact that an equally intelligent being is forming the other half of the encounter. women have no responsibilities because of groups like this, a man is responsible for his own behaviour and also that of his partners, so thanks for that-great step forward or not. its completely unjust for a man to be responsible for his horny girlfriends actions just because she has slightly drunkened herself. most of these cases obv wont be reporeted because the drunk girlfriend wont consider herself raped but just hasd a good night. but theres always one mental case with a grudge whos seduced the man, entrapped him and for her act he s guilty. rediculous.tommy, male

if aman preys on a drunk woman then yes its his problem, but the problem is that campaigns ike this have take it too far so that now me have to shoulder all responsibility for fully consensual sex. i gave an example of atutorial question, in it the man would be guilty of an offence just because he went along with his girlfriend. women do have responsibilities as far as sex in cooncerned and if the law keeps making more and more consensual acts count as rape then surely women will jyust be seen as part of the problem the double standards have to go- that means that a woman who consents to sex whilst drunk should take be held as having consented, its madness that she can just turn aroiund in the morning and decide she was raped. women seem to be able to effectively withdraw their consent after the act-how unfair is that.tommy, male

The amount of victim blaming here by some is ridiculous. It makes no difference whether a woman has been drinking or not, it is not her fault if she is raped or sexually assaulted. Period. The idea that somehow she put herself at greater risk and needs to take responsibility is BS. And the "false rape accusations" are a fake concern. It is so rare as to be a non-issue.Apalled, female

Regretting drunk sex is not rape. Rape while intoxicated is where violence or threats is used to force a man or woman to have sexual intercourse; it's still rape, alcohol or no alcohol. If someome says no, drunk or not, that means no, and the rapist has no right to continue to assualt the victim.Anonymous, female

Uh, this is a difficult issue. I know someone who was raped after a night of drinking, and in this story there is no doubt it was rape- She has no recollection of the night, and had things stolen from her as well- she was in no position to agree OR disagree to what was happening to her. But if a man is drunk as is the woman, and the woman says yes to sex, even if she may not have sober, how can the man be blamed for following through? Esp if hes been out too and might no have the clarity to stop and say "maybe shes too drunk for this". In a situation like that it would seem the man had no direct intention of hurting or raping anyone. I think you have to be careful with this one, and it depends on the individual circumstances. Of course it is a a danger, and there are men who go out with evil intentions, but remember there are also some innocent men who just had a few too many, just like us women do, and slept with someone without much thought. I respect this campaign and these are all important messages but dont jump too quick to tarnish a man's name.Laura, female

Many of my friends have the same attitude, that girls are asking for it. Quite frankly I think this is disgusting. Are we still in the dark ages where men ruled? I don't think so, we women should be able to go out and have a good time with our friends in the same way that men do, without fear of being raped and then WORSE being told that it was our fault for being drunk - something that is very much within our rights to do. It should not be a toss up between being safe or having a night out. Anyone who thinks differently needs their head checked. Our bodies are our own. If we want to get drunk, so be it, if we want to dress in a way which shows of our bodies, do it. But our bodies are certainly not for a man to do what he pleases with.Jess, female

Am shocked by the victim-blaming comments below. Nobody deserves to be raped, whether "off their face" or not. Instead of telling the women to stop drinking, let's tell men to stop raping!Nina, female

Alcohol is no excuse to be raped. The offender is always responsible for their actions. It is ideas that sexual assault can be prevented by taking certain precautions that leads people into a false sense of security. Why are people so caught up in how to prevent it from happening by taking precautions? If you want it to stop target the root cause- the offenders. It's a choice and sober or not any other crime they would be held responsible so why is sexual assault any different?!?!Alex, female

Everybody has to take responsibility for their actions. If you are actively trying to engage another person in some activity, you have the responsibility to ensure they are happy and willng to consent to that activity. If you are in the position where society gives you implicit authority, implicitly lends a greater sense of importance to your wills and whims, and you are drunk, and with someone whom society attempts to tell their own choices about their personal destiny are meaningless or worthless, not worth listening to, not worth pursuing and fighting for, someone whom society tells any attempt to assert their self-determination will not be listened to, will not be given any credit or worth or power, and whether they are drunk or not, YOU still have the responsibility to ensure you don't do anything that both parties aren't active and willing participants in. IT'S NOT THAT HARD!Christopher, male

Ok there seems to be a lot of confusion here about the idea that consensual sex between two people who have had a few drinks is rape. That's not it, rapists are predators who will deliberately seek out someone who is either too drunk to defend themselves or who goes somewhere alone where they are vulnerable to a violent attack. In order to avoid this situation and accusations of rape simply ensure that the person you are with is walking and talking and partcipating in the activity concerned. Ask them if they are sure they want to and when they reply 'yes' you have consent. It's very simple. Virtually unconcious and lying there like a corpse? You're a rapist.Amy, female

Why are all the most recent comments trying to argue with this site? I was raped while I was drunk- in my own bedroom, in my own house. He followed me in after being invited to our home by my housemate (he wasn't drunk by the way). Even my housemate blamed me, because I was drunk. These sites are designed to help victims of rape realise that they can stop blaming themselves so stop perpetuating the victim-blaming attitude, it's getting old.Karen, female

I think a majority of the males who are voicing their opinions on here are completely missing the point of this campaign. The campaign is not trying to "blame the male and take away a female's responsibility for her actions". On the contrary, What the campaign is trying to accomplish is for rapist to stop blaming their victims of something that is wholly the rapists' fault. Ultimatly, It's fighting for rapists to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. Because i swear if i hear "she was asking for it" one more time, I will be tempted to wring necks. A person, male or female is NEVER asking to get raped. It doesn't matter what they wear or how they act. In the end everybody has a CHOICE. And yes those females who wrongly accuse males are ofcourse very despicable, but that really has no standing in what this campaign is trying to achieve.Vixx, female

Regarding this topic, it seems that it's not as noticed when the women are actually sober and men are drunk. It doesn't matter if they are "predators" or not, if they have altered their state of mind they are capable or doing many, MANY things. I think a handful of rapists don't say "Tonight's a good night to rape someone." It just frustrates me on so many different levels. Rapists are not necessarily PREDATORS. Rapists are people that RAPE PEOPLE. If this whole..persona keeps defining what rapists are, it is easy to avoid the title. "I was drunk and had sex with her, and I may have been a little forceful. But it's not like i'm a rapist. I didn't like...do it on purpose or plan it or whatever." I was raped by two drunk men who had just left a party when I was walking home before midnight. I'm glad this campaign exists because it gives this problem a voice. This "blurred" line.Kasey, female

It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear someone say "well, she shouldn't have been drinking so much." Why is it that society feels that women shouldn't be able to go out and have a drink? Basically, that's what it seems to come down to; telling a woman that she shouldn't have a drink or two because if she does, it's her own damn fault if she gets raped. This is just fucked up. It's another ridiculous double-standard; men are allowed to, and in some cases, even expected to, go get so drunk they can't even see straight, but if a woman has a drink, then she's "irresponsible" and "should have been wary of her actions." I'm glad to see a campaign like this, this is definitely the kind of thing that deserves awareness.Kai, female

Of course men should not rape, ever! I hear stories of young girls and boys being so drunk they can't remember what they have done! In this state girls are very vulnerable. A sober girl in a short skirt must be less vulnerable than a very drunk girl in jeans. Does anyone need to get quite that drunk? Doesn't being that drunk make girls more vulnerable? Maybe we should all not get drunk? Plying a girl with drink is not illegal.exsugarbabe!, female

drinking is not a crime rape is drinking, and getting drunk is not illegal! But people who take advantage of a drunk person should be punished whether they got themselves into that state or not. Women never choose to be raped, but the person chooses to rape them! If something is completely out of your control, why should you not get justice?anon, female

If one commits any other hanis crime while drunk, they would be accused without argument. Why is rape any different?Mary, female

"No woman ever charges a man with rape lightly" Not true, unfortunately. In reality, there is a difference between (many of the) drunken rapes and violent rapes. Keep the distinction alive. I know of no man who thinks rape is ok. I know of no man who isn't disgusted by it. But at the same time, if a man and woman are flirting and drinking heavily and have what the man believes to be consensual sex, with an apparently willing partner who later regrets it, then this should not be in the same league as violent sexual assault. And why isn't the woman equally culpable in this situation?Philippe, male

Hello, male here. I just read some comments from my fellow gender here, and I must say I'm shocked. No one is ever responsible for what was done to them by others. If you're out on the streets drunk, and someone pulls out a gun and shoots you, it's not your fault because you're drunk. No one would argue with me here, but this also applies to rape victims. Too many men don't see that, and I find this fact nothing short of horrifying. If a man and a woman are both heavily drunk, and they have sex without the woman wanting to have sex, then it's still the man's fault. If you can't drink without suddenly becoming a rapist, then stay the fuck away from alcohol, it's that simple. This also applies to women of course, but I do believe that's a highly unlikely scenario. Women should be free to roam the streets naked without risking even the slightest harassment for god's sake. Men who think rape is okay deserve to be raped themselves. Sincerely, a man who DOESN'T think rape is okay.Kris, male

I agree that if both a woman and a man are so intoxicated that neither is aware of consenting to sex, this should simply be considered drunken sex, not rape-- both were incapacitated and to say that manipulation occurred only on the man's part would be grossly unjust and a sexist assumption. However, if a drunk individual sexually assaults a sober one, or a sober individual sexually assaults a drunken one, who is to blame? Drinking is not illegal. Sexual assault is. Prosecution should not be about what constitutes putting yourself out of control of your own actions, or there will always be debate about whether the victims put themselves at risk or the criminals werent aware of their crime at the time of committing it. Our laws should be focused on one detailthe inability to restrain yourself from attacking another human being, drunk or sober.Amanda, female

I'm a man who really feels strongly about this issue, it's affected more people I care about than it should. However things like the section on drinking here make it harder for me to support for a number of reasons: It encourages the spiked-drink myth (is IS a myth, it almost never happens, see http://www.freakonomics.com/2009/11/24/the-spiked-drink-myth/ ) It discards legitimate analogies, like an unlocked door with the idea that women (and men) should have the right to drink excessively. I have the right to leave my front door unlocked, it's not illegal, but it renders my insurance invalid because it's a high risk thing to do. It does not make the burgler less guilty and excessive drinking does not make the rapist less guilty. Though likely, I could've stopped the burglery if my house had been locked. Is it wrong for the police to make a campaign to encourage people into safer behaviour. I agree that the responsibility of crimes rests on the criminal, whatever the crime. I also agree that people have the right to drink and drink to excess, just as we have the right to leave doors unlocked or go mountaineering late at night with no gear. All of these things, however, are wildly irresponsible.Trying to be sympathetic, male

As a woman and a rape survivor living in Pennsylvania, USA, where a disgusting victim-blaming anti-binge drinking PSA recently ran (image of PSA here - http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/6466/ac8b69d7892dbb1b000f6a7.jpg), the fact that there are institutions out there that GET IT and put the blame entirely on the rapist is so refreshing. I wish we had this campaign here in the States.Karalyn, female

At my college, we had a saying: "There is no such thing as drunken consent." The idea was that if either party had been drinking, sexual contact should be avoided. Just because one person says 'yes' while drunk does not mean that will be the answer while they are sober. It's a personal policy that allows people to have fun and feel safe: if everyone followed it, we'd have a lot fewer problems.Chelsea, female

Great Campaign. If a woman is drunk, a man should not take advantage. FULL STOP. If a woman is very drunk, she might not get a chance to say "STOP" to sex. If a non-drunk man is barbaric enough to take advantage, notice a woman is drunk and still try it on with her, he is nothing more than a monster.Abi, female

i had my life ruined by being blamed for being gang raped as a teenager by lads the same age as I was mildly drunk. this destroyed my life and self esteem and so many people stil believe it is girls fault. i hope one day it stops, some people just hate the fact women can behave and dress how they want. its usually men who think this. disgusting.keeley, female

had to add a further comment after reading that even on here what a surprise theres loads of men turning up bringing in 'devils advocate' opinions and bleating on about false rape claims. you are the sickening reason so many women dont bother reporting this crime. a lot of people in society still see women as lower who should be at home all the time cleaning. they despise any woman who dress acts and behaves how they want. many men as is evident from here and all over the net still want it like back in old days where men had full control over women. you are all pathetic and are responsible for the mental decay of women who have been raped and assaulted across the world. I have been sexually assaulted 3 times in my life and I am only 20, and only once was I drunk. twice i was a 14 year old child and still sick people tried to blame me. you have no idea how it feels to be raped drunk or sober yet you have the audacity to tell women they should have been more careful. urgggh. i have nothing else to say. horrible. wonder if you'd think the same if it was your daughter or sister who has 'been irresponsible and brought it on herself'. lets face it you cannot stand these 'teasing' women and the fact they can do what they want and dont have to give themselves to you. it dents your fragile ego.keeley, female

i lost my virginity to some guy i barely knew because i was so drunk most of that night is a blur. i cried for like four hours after my friends told me what happened and i still hardly remember any of that night. it sent me into a deep depression and im just starting to deal with it. it hurts to be blamed for what happened because i used to drink all the time and just never expected anyone to do that to me. if you've never been through it and experienced feeling so broken and betrayed then dont judge.helen, female

it says on here that men use alcohol to incapacitate and assault women, but also use it to excuse their own behavior. When you say that a woman isn't responsible for what happens when she was drunk, aren't YOU the one using alcohol to excuse their behavior? This page is presenting a huge double standard that, like so many feminist arguments, portrays women as thoughtless creatures not fit to control their own livesconfusion, male

I don't understand. Of course we women have the right to drink whatever we want. But this country has a big problem with alcohol consumption with people drinking until they, literally, fall to the ground. A woman can never be held responsible for rape, never, but society needs to learn how to drink. If a woman is not that drunk, she might be able to cry for help and find it. Shouldn't the campaign put more emphasis in the whole of the alcohol consumption?Olga, female

I thought because I was drunk, because I was wearing a short skirt it was my fault. So did everyone I told. But I know I said no to him and I know he was wrong to have done it. I won't even bother going to the police, they won't believe me.Stargirl, female

I agree all rape is bad, all rapists are bad. But some of these comments are insane. "I should be able to walk around with diamonds the size of apples on my fingers, and pure gold chains around my neck, with stacks of C notes hanging out my back pocket, while drunk, alone in a dark ally and not get robbed." True, but honestly? My biggest concern with most female commenters is that they don't realize the "chilling effect" this type of thing has on *good* guys. In general it makes me feel that I am running a "life sentence" risk any time I have consensual sex with a new partner. I feel I have to be on guard to make sure she isn't the type to cry wolf after the fact(yes there are a lot of crazies out there, and you don't necessarily know that before you sleep with them). I see the campaign having three main effects: 1. Hopefully helping actual victims come forward. 2. Hopefully get the actual bad guys longer stiffer penalties. 3. Unfortunately will increase the fear of false accusal in men who are generally respectful. -- And I think this is the one most men are justified in being concerned about.Anon, male

A previous commenter said this campaign was not able "putting all the blame on the male" but rather "making the rapist take full responsibility". Is that not the same thing, bar a small percentage of cases? If a woman is so drunk she can't remember if she consented, can a man not be so drunk he can't tell what he's doing either? Is he to blame if he doesn't remember doing it? Is he to blame if he's so drunk he wanders onto the road and gets hit by a car, or is that entirely the driver's fault, since he was "too drunk to tell what was going on"? It's not a matter of *criminal* blame, and indeed no woman is "asking for it" but the drinking of both parties does need to be taken into account to decide if someone should be punished.Anna, female

This website has helped me greatly and to all the 'trolling' men out there who are criticising they are ignorant to the fate of the victim. I am a survivor of rape. A lot of women suffer sexual abuse (1/4 of women in the UK?) and they are unheard, punished with haunting images of the atrocities forever and often become increasingly distressed without proper support. I was attacked by my boyfriend at the time. We were both out drinking; both very drunk and we went to bed. I woke to him taking my underwear off and forcefully raping me, no consent was given; I was too drunk and scared to move. We never spoke of it and he eventually left me, by this time I was medicated for depression, often felt pressured into sex and had become detached- even hated and blamed myself. I am now with a supportive partner but have panic attacks, insomnia etc. Without campaigns like this how could women like me gain a voice in a society that lets (some) men think they can take sex from women when they like. Sex is supposed to be about 2 people. I cannot find such good support in England as this campaign. Without it I would not even be able to blame my ex- partner, I would blame myself, I did blame myself and didnt realise it was rape until I spoke to someone. All anti-rape campaigning is good. Of course we should blame the men for rape when they are committing it. Victims and survivors ARE NOT TO BLAME for their attacksAlison , female

When I was 15, I was raped by a 19 year old man at a party. I had been drinking heavily. He was sweet, and I flirted a bit. Because of this, and because I was too drunk to stop him, I blamed myself for years. Then I got mad; why does everyone think that, because he was drunk too, that it was okay for him to force me? I clearly and loudly said no, and didn't consent to anything past kissing. How society could ever influence me into believing it was my fault, and had nothing to do with his inability to control himself, is very sad indeed. I'm grateful that someone is taking a stand and saying, "men must take responsibility. Nobody deserves rape, under any circumstance." Thank you.Sam, female

. .I was raped after a night out by a boy I had known for a year who I said could stay over at mine, as friends, after we had shared a taxi together after a night out. I am a university student and highly involved in media at my university and regularly produce and present student TV shows. I want to help make students more aware of what rape is. Please tell me what I can do to help so this doesn't happen to someone else. Thanks.Steph Booth, female

Everyone knows you shouldnt get blind drunk because anything could happen to you. People know not to walk around drunk with an expensive phone in their hand or waving money around in the middle of the night. If they get mugged they didnt choose to get mugged, but they also didnt do anything to lessen the chance of it happening, and if anything just opened themselves up to the chance of it happening. The same applies with rape. If a woman is blind drunk and wandering around in the middle of the night she might get mugged, and she might get raped. She doesnt want either of those things to happen, but is leaving herself open to the possibility. There's no excuse for rape, but women need to take responsibility for there actions some of the time. We all take precautions in our everyday lives, we lock our doors, wear seat belts, wear crash helmets etc, we do it to minimize the chance of something bad happening. Why do people think they can do thinks like get so drunk they cant think and expect nothing bad at all to happen? Have some common sense.O, female

The men who commit rape are predators. They are on the lookout for vulnerable women. They don't care about anti-rape campaigns. Stay sober. Stay safe.Gareth, male

This campaign is fantastic. As a victim of rape while being completely passed out, I appreciate it and am totally moved. People ARE NOT ENLIGHTENED when it comes to such a tenuous subject -- thank you for working to change that fact!!Riva, female

It's shocking that these attitudes still exist today. Thank you for raising awareness with such a campaign. Knowing that many people want to change these demeaning outlooks is a good way to help those who have to deal with them come to terms with things.Helen, female

It is also very important to educate young woman to learn to say no whenever they feel so, at the same time, putting barriers is also a must. There are always hunting men waiting for a victim, it is necessary to let and educate them to avoid being in such situations, this is not a fact of blaming women, but the fact is that this is happening and we need to avoid more similar cases. Avoiding being alone when you feel you are losing control, telling to a confident and being also grouped with known people can help avoiding. We cannot just blame the raper, cause this only does not stop them. Educate men also to protect any potential victim (we can all recognize them) by suggesting them to go home or even escorting them accordingly.Sergio, male

I really dislike statistics like '60% of rapes occur when women are drinking' I'm pretty sure that if I replicated that experiment, gave 100 women a bottle of vodka each, locked them in a room alone for 12 hours, none would be raped when I opened the door 12 hours later. All these statistics should read as '60% of rapes occur when men are allowed to have unsupervised access to women who are drinking'. (needs to be adjusted for female rapists, of course). But they don't. Even our statistics promote rape culture.Andrea, female

I completely agree,, women should be free to endulge in the freedoms or enjoy a night out, a few drinks etc as men do without the worry of rape. However, this relies on all perpetrators of rape to be caught and punished for it. Yes all women have the right to enjoy their lives without the threat of being raped, but until all the people that our out that are rapists/will become rapists it remains very important for women to look out for themselves. The same is true for men, don't forget men are the victims of rape as well. As a male, If i were to go on a night out and get ridiculously drunk and get mugged, i would be annoyed at myself for letting it happen. For me to turn around and say that it isn't my fault because there shouldn't be any muggers in society, would be an unrealistic and very ignorant thing to do. The same goes for rape. There are horrible people out there and everybody must remeber that people need to do their best to avoid them.jonny, male

I`m seeing these comments about "If the man and the woman are both drunk and have sex, then why does only the man get blamed?" Its important to acknowledge and ask who approached who? Who had the intent of having sex upon meeting? Who initiated physical content? Who furthered the situation into a sexual one? Part of mens' drinking habits involves trying to "get laid", which is why it seems so innocent to them. It's part of their culture and the bar scene (Time for change is in need!). So when an intoxicated man and woman have sex and both were incapable of reasonable decision making, you have to consider that men preying on women is a regular occurrence and sexual intent is a usual premise for engaging the woman in the first place (of course this is not always the case, there are always variations and exceptions, but it cannot be denied that is it common). If the man had not taken any action toward sexual intercourse, you have to ask, would it have happened?Elle, female

I was raped at college. Never said a word because I was drunk.Anonymous, female

Even though I tested positive for the date rape drug the detective assigned to my case in Honolulu, HI, USA convinced me to drop charges due to lack of evidence. Matter of fact, he didn't even question my rapist. I was told that if I were younger or male I could probably get to trial, but since I was a young woman of legal drinking age, there were too many cases Iike mine. I didn't go out drinking with my girlfriends to get raped. Even close friends and mentors tell me I should have watched my drink better. This isn't fair and it needs to change.Karissa Osborne, female

If she says no she means it, my idea on it being in my mid 20's is if she's drinking she's off limitsBJRC, male

You make "huge" assumptions in the article on rape, which are frankly wrong! You also speak of 'double standards' but then practise these yourselves. It seems presently with the rape law, that a woman can drink very little - then claim she cannot recall consenting to sex, and therefore it is 'rape.' Seriously... 'and' you also make a huge prejudicial statement loaded with bigotry, when you say it is "men" who rape!!! Women do this as well... and are inappropriate with men! You hear little of this do we by society due to convenience... Myself, I have been behaved towards inappropriately on 'numerous' occasions by women, and this is the thin end of the wedge - from bum pinching, to a girl grabbing my crotch in front of the taxi driver, and her friend, because they had decided they wished to sleep with me. On another occasion, a girl made a pass at me on a night out, which I was not interested in... and then told everyone I had hit her! Huge double standards here... and the way the situation is presently seems to actually demean "women" from my standpoint - it seems a type of "inverse sexism" where we are saying the woman is never responsible for her behaviour if she drinks at some level, and worse the man should take responsibility for the "woman's" drinking. My experience, and this has happened on numerous occasions is unfortunately in the converse, that men do not particularly target drunk women, but women who drink too much can become very salacious. In respect of the poll on the right... well this is an "extremely" loaded question, is it not more the case women and "men" are likely to make unwise decisions, and be overtly promiscuous if they have had too much to drink, and therefore be responsible for their ensuing situation?Sean Sebastian White, male

It's a safety issue. You don't put yourself in a vulnerable position simply because you feel you "SHOULD" be able to. I've told my daughter that, "yes, she should be able to wear that little mini-skirt and low cut top, go down town and drink herself stupid without fear of an assault" but the principle of the matter wontmatter once she's been raped or is lying dead in a ditch. As a man I "SHOULD" be able to walk down any street in the country, any day of the week, at any time of day without fear of being mugged or robbed...but the reality is that some situations I avoid because the fact remains that there are predators out there. We all have to do whatever is necessary to protect ourselves.Dave, male

Being raped while drunk I think this campaign is excellent because I was drunk didn't give anyone the right to have sex with me. My rapists first said he was drunk and also didn't remember however after many months of this not sitting easy with myself he finally admitted he was not drunk and knew exactly what he was doingAnonymous, female

I was raped last night after passing out drunk completely clothed with a big knitted jumper and jeans, nothing that could be enticing or could perpetuate anything sexual. I was with a friend who I thought could be trusted and I woke up to him inside of me whilst I was on a very heavy period which was noticeable as I was wearing two pairs of underwear and a night-time sanitary towel which are very thick. I don't know why I am justifying my state out of fear of blame for being drunk but I should not have had to wake up to a friend I trusted using me to satisfy his sexual desires whilst I was completely passed out. I dont know what to do nor do I know who I can turn to. I feel violated, sick and dirty. I feel like if I did not drink, it would not have happened. I don't know what to do. I'm still in shock and can't stop thinking about what I felt as I woke up. I have not confronted him out of fear that he will blame me or tell people we were alone getting drunk because I know I will get the blame. Can someone who has been in this situation please shed some light on it and helpS, female

thsi past weekend, my friend and i wentout for a few drinks n dey became too many. afterwards we met my frends ex of whom we knew n went to hisplace to sleep it off. i took the couch in da lounge n passed out only to be awaken by my friend in my deep sleep n her ex on top of me. he literally took off my pants n sock n had a feast witout my consect just because i was wasted after he had a consentual sex with my friend, his ex, he still came out of the bedroom n did how ever he pleased with me. i felt so ashmed n dirty was even scared to lay sexual harrasment charges because i was drunk n passedout. this will forever haunt me n is crippling me slowly that someone felt a need to rob me of my privacy just because i could not defend myself. rape is rape.anon, female

Prayers for succes in your campaign. Women raped 30 years ago had nowhere to go for help and there's still a long way to go.Lynn Krafchik, female

I had been heavily drinking one night after suffering some loss. I was upset and had drank a lot more than I usually would. My friends needed to get me home and so rang a mutual friend of ours to pick us up from the nightclub we were at. I was last to be dropped home, my friend instructed our lift home to ensure I got home safely. Unfortunately, instead he took advantage of my extremely vulnerable state and coerced me into having sex with him, despite me continually expressing the fact that I really did not want to and despite the fact I was definitely in no fit state to consent. The exact happenings of that night are still a blur to me however what happened should not have happened and this is something that still affects me to this day.Lucy, female

Your comments on Relationships

To associate pictures of a Wedding with rape is just the confirmation I needed for taking my beautiful wife and children away from this country. I know you already hate me but as a husband and father of five children I will say this..... My children will not see one of your billboards, TV ads, or Newspaper articles. But I am totally confident my four sons will be in every way respectful of any woman they ever encounter. And I hope for them the same love a man can feel for a woman, the happiness of being with her, and joy of holding each newborn child. As for my daughter, I want her to love, be loved, and have her fairytale wedding. I wish for all of my children the happiness my wife and I have, which is captured in every picture of our wedding day. This campaign seems designed to destroy that image for all of my children.John Kirkwood, male

This campaign is challenging even to those who think their feelings on this topic are well-established. Culturally marital rape has long been brushed under the carpet, and the attitudes referred to about girls being to blame for being raped are commonplace. That's why I think this campaign is both necessary and effective - the idea is to challenge these perceptions. The association of rape with marriage is not perpetrated by Rape Crisis Scotland, but by the men who have abused their position of power within their relationships. I am so pleased that this campaign is sparking debate - maybe attitudes really can be changed and people will accept that there is no circumstance where it is acceptable to force a woman to have sex. Well done, keep up the good work, I fully support this.Leigh-Anne Fyfe, female

John Kirkwood, male, calm down, this is meant to make people more aware, which it clearly is. No need to leave the country. I'd leave the country if married woman were being raped by their husbands, and no one was taking notice.Leesah Williamson, female

John, best of luck with your new life. I would look in the brochures for countries where melodrama is popular. This campaign does not in any way seek to undermine marriage, it seeks to challenge rape myths. Many people, perhaps you are one of them, labour under the notion that rape simply cannot happen in marriage or relationships, the image concerned simply attempts to question that notion. The fact is, if you care to check out some of the statistics on rape and sexual violence, that women are raped most commonly by someone they know. This statistic includes rape by husbands and partners as well as aquaintances. I would want my daughter to know that if they experienced rape or any other horrible crime that they were not to blame, that they could tell someone without fear of being made to feel ashamed or that they had done something wrong and that they would have a good chance of justice. Your sons are much more likely to be influenced negatively by a woman blaming, sexist and misogynist culture than they are by a few billboards over the next fortnight, unfortunately. Unless of course you, and others around them, can instill values which counter this. Which I am sure you will.Andrea, female

I can't believe that a campaign raising awareness of rape, particularly in marriage (which, whether you like it or not does happen, and all too often goes unreported, as women feel that somehow as they are married they cannot be "raped"), would provoke such an extreme reaction in you, I hope to the stories of women being raped also provoke such a strong reaction and have you campaigning against rape in some way? I am a newlywed (2 months) and I dont look at that picture and then associate weddings in general, my wedding or any other picture of a wedding with rape. This is meant to be a hard hitting campaign and challenge people's thinking. Although I do not have any children I would be more than happy for mine to see this campaign in fact I would welcome it. Unfortuantely your over the top reaction to this campaign goes to prove that it really is the "new" generation we have to target as some people aren't open minded enough. Lets not forget it was only 1989 that rape in marriage was made a crime. I sincerely wish all the things for your children that you do within marriage, but the facts remain the same rape in marriage happens and if this campaign helps just one woman to recognise this and report this its worth the loss of you and your familly to another country.Kirsty , female

John, it is extremely worrying that you are more concerned with upholding the idea that nothing bad can happen in marriage than you are for the women who have suffered rape in a relationship. Try to have a little empathy and remember that the world does not revolve around you.JenniferRuth, female

Do you not wish your sons to have a fairytale wedding? Just out of interest of course....Joanne, female

I have to be honest about this i find this whole thing a little shocking, i was driving to my local asda with my dad to do my weekly shopping (i have saw this a number of times now) when i saw the bill board poster of the married couple and the saying, i found this deeply depressing as i myself was in a 6 year relationship with a previous partner, who had raped me a number of times ove a long time frame. It took me a long time to go to the pilce about this, infact it was two relationships later i am now married to a wonderful man who knows all abnout my past that i felt able to go to the police about it. The thing that gets me id the person who dome it to me did the same to my young sister and the guy had gotten away with it. nothing got doen to him and he still lives in the same area as i do. i am in constant fear that me may try to contact me again or try to see my sons (he is the bio dad). i am sorry but were is the justice? i have had to live with a secret for years and when i say something it is too late and he gets of 'scot free'. i still get terribly upset when i see things on tv about things like rape or even hear about it in the news it hits me in a place i wish i could shut of, and now when i go for my shopping i have to hide from this masive sign as it gives me flash backs and makes me depressed. All i can say is i was lucky i found my husband who has been nothing but my strength. i cant even begin to imagine what a person would be feeling who does not have what i have. while i can see the good that could and can come out of it, for myself it hits a raw nerve, the person who did it to me got away with it/Claire, female

Good work, as usual, Rape Crisis. You all do a fantastic job and should be proud of your achievements!! Claire, I feel bad that the campaign has induced flashbacks. Even though your life has moved forward positively, there is help out there for you if you needed to talk about how you feel. I was raped in marriage many times and only 8 years later did I realise it was rape. The rape was just one part of the abuse I faced on a weekly basis. I knew it was wrong because of how it made me feel but it felt less serious to me at the time because I was married. If this campaign makes women think and helps them realise it's wrong and it is rape then the more in your face and confronting the better I say. We should not shy away from the truth. The hidden shame should be tackled head on. As women, we should be supportive of each other and I hope that men support us too, to help diminish gender based violence.Julie, female

This is so true. It's sad to think that, in addition to all the other things women aren't allowed to do without "asking for it", like dressing and acting in the ways that make us happy, we aren't even allowed to have relationships unless we're willing to give up our right to say "no". Even when a woman breaks up with a guy and is raped later, you still hear people making these excuses for the ex.Megan, female

It would be a good conversation starter for you to explain that even when you are married, respect is important. Your children should be aware. Moving is kind of an overreaction and it does not help spread awareness.Rachel, female

Unfortunately I - along with every man I know - think that this advertisement campaign is an insult to men everywhere. To find it such a priority to remind men NOT to rape women is ridiculous. Implying that men think that women wearing revealing clothing deserve to be raped is an absolute disgrace. Do we need reminded not to murder or not to torture? I think it is reasonable to suggest that women would be up-in-arms if a poster were published stating A rich man is not an invitation to steal all his money via a divorce settlement and then take full custody of his children which I can assure you, happen just as much as invited rape. This is sexism at its inexcusable worst and I think anyone believing the average man is a rapist should be ashamed of himself or herself. In a new world that profits on the fear of individuals, this is not only exploitative to young females but also abusive to the average man. Remind yourself that you all have fathers and often thoroughly decent men in your family; do you remind them not to rape? An absolutely disgraceful campaign; shame on you all.John smith, male

John Kirkwood, you have seriously missed the message.Elle, female

We don't hate you, John, and for you to make that assumption you must not be very comfortable with yourself. Why do you wish to shelter your children from the truth? I want your daughter to have her fairytale wedding, too, if that's what she wants, and if you are respectful of women then I imagine your sons will be as well. But you do not do your children any favours by shielding them from reality. The sad truth is that many women are raped within marriage--your sons would do well to be aware of it so that they can stand up against it, and your daughter should know too so that she is informed and strong enough to protect herself.Isa, female

Yes this campaign is hardhitting and emotive but it does happen if people think it doesn't they are naive. Speaking out about marital rape can only be a good thing. Why are people so afraid of the topic being 'out there', this is 2008 we challenge wrong doing not accept or ignore it. I will purposely bring this campaign to the attention of my two teenage daughters, it is something I want them to be aware of. I do not only hope they find loving and respectful partners, I teach them this is something they are entitled to.Necia Lewis, female

Seriously John Smith - you have completely missed the point of this campaign. It is NOT saying that all men are rapists, it is trying to highlight the beliefs widely held in our society that women are to blame if they get raped in each of these scenarios. All of these negative and uninformed comments only go to show how necessary this campaign is.Amy, female

It is good to see a new campaign to highlight rape in a hard hitting campaign,but in a Cosmopolitan culture, I would like to see an advert, that just for once, did not feature an indiginious, caucasion male as the perpetrator. Even in the Zero Tolerance campaign it is nearly always the message that only working class males in the West of Scotland commit these foul deeds. Your advert and billboards are designed to shock and spark comment and debate and that is what is happening as I type, so its obviously working!! I have a lovely young daughter and a fantastic wife and I do my best for them and would never ever want them to suffer anything so brutal and appalling as rape, and make sure I am on hand to pick my wife up after a night out and see her home safely. Please be advised, all men are not beasts.Alistair, male

As someone who has both been raped and raped in a relationship I would say this is the right direction, but really leaves out much of the complexity of the subject. My situations were not violent ones - each of us did not want to have sex and the other thought they were "seducing" us, but since we did not want to flee or fight we submitted. It was not as brutal as a violent encounter, but disturbing nonetheless. What was difficult was acknowledging the fact that we had raped each other (once each on different occasions). Neither of us could admit at first that we had done it - there was denial, blame, rationalization. How do you admit to yourself that you hurt, violated, the one you love? It is much easier to deny that it happened. Far to easy to get angry at the person for making you feel this way. Far too easy to hide behind statistics that women don't rape, or laws that say consent was given as a part of the vows. Moral of the story: if your partner doesn't want sex and is resisting your attempts to get him or her aroused, STOP! There is a high chance if you continue you are raping the one you love.Mark, male

I think that rape in a relationship (marriage or partnership) is only part of the problem. Far too many people have been sexually abused at any early age by a family member like a sibling, parent, aunt, uncle, cousin and many more, when they are too young to know better - to even know what happened and understand it. I have a friend who this happened to by someone she trusted. It should have never happened.Jess, female

This "campaign" is laughably poor. John Smith's comments are entirely accurate. The whole idea is assuming this odd femi-nazi mindset that "every man is a potential rapist, even your husband!". Inferring guilt before any offence has even been committed. Pictures of married couples with this warning, is that a sick joke? Is the idea to terrify ALL men to not even approach women in case they somehow lose control of themselves and rape their wives?!?! Belive me, the inferred guilt we are ALL taking on behalf of a TINY minority of men is offensive. It's not attacking the rapists, it's attacking people BEFORE any rape has happened. Guilt before innocence. And yes, rape is horrendously offensive, though I fail to see why I would need to bring that up. Firstly, people trying to "justify" rape aren't worth listening to. Secondly, when exactly does that happen? In pretty much every rape case I've ever heard about, the rapist is immediately and rightly demonised. Frankly, I find it grossly offensive to suggest that the idea that men everywhere are ok with rape as long as the woman is dressed a certain way. "Widely held" suggests something more than the actual amount of rapists out there, no? Thirdly, is it now commonly accepted that women are just not capable of sexual assualt at all? If you want to work on removing rape, you'd need to do a LOT better than shock image posters attacking a microscopic amount of people and actually get into some serious pyschological work regarding the mindset and behaviour of rapists. ACTUAL rapists. I do not want to diminish the importance of working against rape, but I do NOT take kindly to even the merest hint that I could either do it or assume it was ok because the woman was drunk.Frank, male

You wouldn't be as cocky and judgemental if your daughter was in a very real situation like this one day, "John". The image of a wedding is (obviously) supposed to conjour up happy, content feelings, and that's the whole point of the campaign; to challenge what is otherwise overlooked all too often.Maria, female

Well, the ad campaign does at least have a shock factor, the first time I saw it I had to double check I read it right. So good job on that front, but I'm not in total agreement that doing it this way is the best method to educate. I've not completely read the website, but are there any plans to go to schools, workplaces or the like and gather up all the men, and condescendingly tell them, "now boys, no raping"?Simon Gilmore, male

Married or in a civil partnership? Your partner still has choices & must give consent.HW, male

Don't know why I have to give my gender, but nevermind - as a non-raping man (we do exist..) I can say that a lot of anti-rape campaigns seem to tar all men with the same brush. This one is much more enlightened in that way, although I still don't quite believe the statistics (about half of people thinking it's ok to rape if you're married and such) based on my own experiences, but with statistics you can prove pretty much anything. Basically from as soon as I started having sex education at school age 10 as a boy we were taken into our own classes as the girls were, and we have been told not to rape, over and over. There is something about it that makes you feel like people assume you are a rapist, or at least a potential rapist. So whilst it's important to get the point across, it's important to be sensitive and not further demasculate and demonise boys like we have already failed with many black children by telling them repeatedly not to commit crime and basically stereotyping them.Rich, male

I think its about time the law on rape was changed.There is a discrepancy between males and females on this issue.Women deserve to be protected but so do men,did you know that if a man is forceably penetrated his assailant cannot be charged with rape in Scotland.I believe men and women should be equal in the eyes of the law.This campaigns heart is in the right place but I would like to see it reflect the reality that this is a male problem also.Paisley boy, male

After having a disagreement with someone recently, who believed it was impossible for a husband to rape his wife, I was really pleased to notice your campaign. I strongly disagreed with him and I am pleased you are challenging opinions like this. I hope it will give females (and males) the confidence to take their assault further.Jennifer, female

Completely agree with John Kirkwood's comments, your advertising campaign is demonising men and using happy wedding photos to get your 'message' across is misguided and misleading.Chris, male

My mother was raped by my Dad. I was far too young to understand at the time but I realised what was happening when I got older. I'm so glad this issue is being looked at. We left my Dad and moved country but took no action against him.Lois Jackson, female

Sadly, John Kirkwood's comment is all too typical. Let's just pretend these things don't happen, because it might taint this fairytale idea of marriage. Sweeping it under the carpet does nothing to protect children. Our daughters need to know that, unfortunately, a lot of people still think that marriage or a romantic relationship is consent to sex, unpleasant though that fact may be. I for one am thrilled that this campaign is talking about it, it needs to be said.Miaow, female

This is so important, and it really saddens me that so many men are taking offense to this ad. These ads are not targeting men, or accusing all men of being rapists. They are targeting those people--male AND female--who assume that a woman deserves rape if she acts a certain way, or that a woman can't be raped if she's married or in a relationship. It's not a reminder "not to rape." And of course nobody's going to say they'd blame a victim of rape. It's not a comfortable thing to admit, and a lot of us aren't always conscious of it. I say "us" because I know that at some point, in my own mind, I, too, have engaged in victim-blaming. It's something that is very prevalent in western culture, and something I always have to be conscious of. I think campaigns like this are extremely important because they keep us all aware of how far we've come, and how far we still have to go.Rachael, female

I don't understand why there are so many men who feel threatened by these advertisements. No where does it suggest that "all men are rapists", it simply states that women in these situations are not "asking for it". The campaign is focused on removing blame from the victims, not demonizing every man or boy on the planet. I do, however, need to say, I'm not a big fan of the forced gendering of comments.M, female

@Rachael: Actually it's seems that this is a campaign's ultimate goal is removing the legal concept that the girl (well, "rape victim") can be held partially responsible (whilst trying to garner support with several, frankly, "well duh" points). --- This campaign likes to imply that the girl might be drunk but say "no", or get intimate but then say "no", and that the guy blithely ignores her and proceeds to rape her. But we all know it doesn't happen like that in real life. The woman is drunk, the man is drunk, they're making out, removing clothes, she says something vague like "I'm not sure about this", they both back off, but they're still half-naked and together, and so they both start escalating it again. Repeat until sex. --- To say that, legally, this should be treated legally in the same way as a predator forcibly raping someone is disingenuous. But it's the clear motive of this campaign.Guy, male

John, I love that you would rather have a woman raped by her own husband than have your children's image of marriage damaged. How pathetic are you? I think this is one of the more persistent myths, just because there are people out there who idealize relationships and marriage so much. Even the girl who has been raped might be confused - after all, he was her boyfriend, wasn't he? One thing I WOULD like to see in this site, though, is non gender-specific examples. It's not always women getting raped, nor is it always men doing the raping (although that depends on your definition - if you think it takes a penis going in for it to be rape, then you need to really think about it some more). Although the majority of cases might be that way, it would still be helpful to maybe even devote one small section to others who are raped that don't fit the set model (man on woman).Jamie, female

As someone who was raped and assaulted in my first committed relationship because my partner honestly felt I 'owed' him something, I have to say I don't find this campaign in the least bit offensive. If you truly don't believe that the way you dress or your level of consent changes the attitude toward rape against you, read up on the web on marital rape laws, on the rates of convictions for the rape of prostitutes, on some police attitude toward the way women dress, on the lesser sentences imposed on those who rape someone who's drunk and claim they thought she/he consentedSam, female

For someone who has experienced marital rape, I am not at all offended by the association of a wedding picture with rape. In fact, I feel supported by this campaign's bravery to address it in such a direct way. Marital rape is a shameful reality that needs to be brought to light.Marlaina, female

"This campaign likes to imply that the girl might be drunk but say "no", or get intimate but then say "no", and that the guy blithely ignores her and proceeds to rape her. But we all know it doesn't happen like that in real life." - Guy Yes it does, Guy. To say otherwise would be ignoring the facts. This campaign wouldn't exist if it weren't a real problem. The vast majority of rapes committed on drunk women are by sober men. "But it's the clear motive of this campaign." - Guy No, it isn't. The motive is to educate everyone that forced sex, no matter what the circumstance, is rape. Whether the woman is dressing provocatively, or being flirtatious, or drinking, or married to her rapist, it is still rape. You completely missed the point of this campaign. Good job.Hazel, female

The purpose of this campaign is not to say that all men are beasts. It's about educating the community - both men and women. I work at a women's refuge and I hear countless stories about men who have forced their partners into having sex by claiming 'you're my wife, you have to!' and women going along with it either out of fear of being further abused or because they feel like they have to because 'he's my husband.' This campaign is about reminding people that they have a choice of whether or not to have sex and that sex is not a right. For the men on this forum who are worried that their wife/girlfriend is going to cry rape if they try to initiate sex, don't worry, this campaign is not trying to destroy your sex life. It is just asking you to ensure that the sex is consensual. And to the great men out there who are sick of having their gender tarnished by other men who are violent against women, stand up to your mates/brothers/etc. and say that you are appalled by their behaviour. Get involved with White Ribbon Day which is an international campaign to involve men in stopping men's violence against women.Helen, female

I think this is amazing you've used this photo relating it to marital rape. I think rape comes from so many problems of our society, the main one to live in a fairytale world, an imaginary world, where our morals and ethics and religious beliefs create 'reality'. But fairytales are not the reality. And rape is. Thanks for the powerful images. Some people might react blindly and angrily, but some will be sure to question themselves and their own experiences.Bastian, female

If a woman or a man says no then thats the end of it .. no if buts or mabys .. it has nothing to do with someone dressing a certain way, being married or even if they have went up to a certain point and then felt that they don't want to go anyfurther. It is what it is and if sex is forced upone someone it's rape ... while i think that this is a grate campaine and that it is deffinetly getting the public talking about rape and what the deffinition of rape actually is, what i want to know is why is it all focused on woman ? Men can be rapped too, and i don't just mean by other men i mean by a woman ... think about it if a woman can be pressured into not being able to say no then the same thing can happen to a man can it not ? Why isnt their a campaine for sexual abuse against men?Christina Hunter, female

I'll fuck you in the ass you punk ass white boy. I'll fuck you in the ass you coward, you bitch. You fucking faggot! Come up and take me on you scared coward. You white bitch. You ain't man enough to fuck with me, bitch! There ain't no-one in the room big enough to take me on. You're just scared like a little white pussy. I'll fuck you till you love me, you faggot!Bertha, female

The obvious and immediate interpretation of these ads is that they patronise and demonise men. As can be seen from posts here, you've just alienated half your audience. Well done.Dan, female

Hey, John Smith...you who say 'Remind yourself that you all have fathers and often thoroughly decent men in your family; do you remind them not to rape?'. Wish you could have been there to remind *my* father this. He was the one that raped me.Anon 1, female

My ex-husband never raped me, but he did sexually harass me for quite some period of time. It was demeaning, left me feeling like a slut, unloved, dirty and powerless. I coped by sleeping in a different room. /////yes - being raped by someone you know, love and trust is extreamly traumatic and very difficult to come to terms with afterwards. Having said that, I also agree with what John Kirkwood said. I understand that you need strong images to make an impact, but not all marriages, or even partnerships, end in rape. My new husbadn is more loving, caring, understanding and protective of me, and our unborn son, that I could ever imagine. I know he will keep me safe and that he would never do anything hurt me, and would certainly never ever inflict any kind of sexual contact on me that I didn't want, even down to kissing. Please remember that not all guys are potential rapists, there ARE some good 'uns out there too. And - don't don't forget that is not just women who get raped - it happens to men too.A survivor, female

Thank you so much for bringing this into th open. And please ignore calls from people that images of marriage shouldn't be associated with rape - the fact that the majority of rapes are carried out by partners or former partners means that it is already associated, whether we like it or not! It's infinitely more important that people are made more aware of this than that children are shielded from this knowledge, and encouraged to believe in fairytales.Gareth Simpson, male

To John: you live in a bubble - and what a glorious bubble it is. Your romantic view on what a relationship should be seems over-simplistic and naive. Your own marriage seems ideal and you place great emphasis on being respectful to women and your confident hope that your sons will follow this pattern in the future. If only all romantic relationships were built on your foundation. What unnerves me is the fact you don't seem to acknowledge, or want to acknowledge, a primary concern that not all marriages are based on mutual respect and do not follow your fairytale guideline. If only they did! I suggest you do your research to gain some critical insight and knowledge into the very harsh reality of what some women face on a daily marital basis rather than running away with a blindfold and a very unfocussed ideology. I dont think this campaign is designed to destroy the image for all of your children. It merely raises awareness and promotes caution for women in order to understand and look out for themselves or to question the nature of a relationship if things go horribly wrong. Not all men have womens best interests at heart, unlike yourself. And no, I dont think the women who run this site are as quick to judge in hating you either.Justine, Sydney, female

question ... why are there no images of female - male rape? oh i know, because when a woman is pressuring a man for sex she is being assertive, but switch it around and he's a creep. marriage happens for a number of reasons. the least of which is love. culturally speaking, marriage is to legitimise sex and offspring. I can agree that a husband forcing his wife to have sex is bad and needs to be addressed, but it's not on the same level as "rape".reality, male

in relationships people should take no for sexryan philip, male

Marriage and marital sex are mutually contradictory. Partner rape is perhaps, a more appropriate term. The notion of marital rape is an idea invented by women libbers and has no place in a proper marital home. If you do not want your spouse to have free access to your body why do you marry him or her? You can stay spinster or bachelor and seek out sex from outside when you want it.Christian, male

I feel that this image conjours up exactly what it should. That to the public eye a marriage/relationship can look happy but no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors. I was in a violent relationship for 8 years from the age of 16. My ex always wanted to end every violent episode by making up with intercourse. I didn't want to but if I tried to explain the violence would start again and the cycle repeated itself until I gave in for the sake of my safety. It wasn't mutual intercourse and I was frightened. I am now married to a wonderful man but have developed clinical depression for the second time in my life. My memories of that time are now very vivid and invade my every thought. I never told anyone in the 8 years I was with him and have only come to terms with it in the last couple of year - it has been 7 years. My counsellor has confirmed to me that what he did was a form of a rape and this has shocked me to the core. I am not dealing with it very well and feel it is important for people to recognise that abuse like this in relationships does exist and we need to be aware that someone could be suffering in silence. I was 17 when it began and am now 31. It is ruining my life.Anon, female

John, you are missing the point. Unfortunately, rape can and does exist within committed relationships, including marriage. This campaign is not saying that marriage or weddings or bad -- simply that just because someone is married doesn't mean that rape legally and physically can't happen. Until the day comes when rapes no longer happen we have to have images like this to make ourselves confront our long-held myths. As long as you are raising your children to respect everyone's right to have sex only when, where, and with whom they want to have it, then you are in agreement with the campaign. The point is to educate about rape, and reduce its occurrence, which it sounds like you are in favor of. You are just confused by the ad, apparently.Gina, female

John, i understand if the style of the message conveyed isn't for you but it clearly is not seeking to link your marriage and rape, it is actually separating your marriage from those who use the bit of paper as a sham to protect their abuse of their spouseFran, female

Well it's a pity that people like John, below, are so disappointed that the image of the fairytale wedding hides another reality for many women. Where women are sexually assaulted by their partners, that image needs to be called into question. As long as people prefer to be ostriches about it, marital rape remains a crime that is committed with impunity, and women's lives continue to be endangered (Yes, it's a statistical finding that men who rape their partners are more likely to murder them). While we we all want our daughters to have fairytale relationships, saving their lives and spirits with awareness is more important.Louise, female

To John Kirkwood, I hope your daughter gets her fairytale wedding. I had mine. It wasn't until I was pregnant with our second child that my husband started sexually assaulting me. He is from a nice family with good values, a volunteer in the community, an okay father and a loyal employee. He is also a rapist. Think about how hard it is to face that truth.Carleen, female

Way to miss the point, John Kirkwood.Kat, female

reality I can not believe what you said "it's not on the same level as "rape"." You tell that to someone who has survived it.. you tell them when they are having flashbacks, you tell them that when they are waking up from nightmares, you tell them that when they are crying, you tell them that when they are sitting there with a knife and thinking where can I cut this time! You tell me that just because I was in a relationship with someone that I deserved getting raped! That it was not as bad as other rapes! HOW DARE YOU! you live one day in my shoe's and see how you feel! I do agree however that there definitly should be stuff about men on this too, because it is true that men can be victims of this too, and I don't think it is fair to put all the blame on men, because believe it or not woman do rape too!cathy, female

In response to John Kirkwood's post, I think that his attitude is actually adding to the attitude that women cannot be raped within marriage. Ignorance is no excuse, and sheltering your children from knowing that rape can happen within marriage will only help spread that myth. Clearly that advert is not associating all marriage with rape; that would be ridiculous to suggest. However, if his children are old enough to understand rape, then they are old enough to understand that rape CAN happen within marriage, not that it always DOES. He should be ashamed of his attitude.S, female

My husband raped me 9 years ago, and I'm still not over it. I lost my home, my dog and even my children, because I was so terrified, I left . My children and my own family don't believe me, because, sometimes he seemed like a "nice guy." My own adult children think I'm crazy. Since the rape, I feel like I'm in a nightmare from which I can never wake up.Anonymous, female

There are, unfortunatly, many people who think, "we're a couple, you belong to me, I CAN TREAT YOU HOWEVER I WANT..." unfortunatly I knew one of those once, and I am still having problems with committing to the new man in my life...Cher(notthesinger), female

I think the issue in this campaign is more than important enough to stand alone as a discussion. The issue of male rape is a related, but seperate issue to that of society's preoccupation with female victims' culpability in their own predation. This campaign would support, not detract, from a future campaign targeting the victimisation of the male image. This idea that anyone is not masculine enough/not powerful enough.., I find it interesting that male victims get called "wimen". I think it's a smart move to have us choose to reveal our gender as debates on this issue often descend to which 'side' the opinion came from. Honesty and intelligence without debating which kind of cleavage we own would be nice. Gender is a point of view: The Sex we're born to is simply an anatomical fluke, so should be a health issue, not a property one. Very strong campaign. Thank you.Lynsey, transgender

John, the campaign isn't claiming that the wedding itself is a form of rape/control, only that some men and women believe that within the marriage, sex is automatically not rape, and that rape cannot occur because the woman has consented to marriage. Which,a s you obviously know, is a different consent to consent to sex at any time. Moving is an overreaction to what, overall, is one picture by a charity, surely?Amelia, female

Kudos to these ads! I think this is a wonderful way to raise awareness that rape is a crime both emotionally, mentally and physically and while it isn't right to live in a world of fear, everyone needs to be aware that Rape can happen anytime, anywhere and by anyone. The victim (mostly women) should not be demonized or made to feel like it is her fault. It bugs me that the first thing that some of these men (and some of the women too) will see and then respond to is how offended THEY are. Guess what guys, this ad is in no way accusing you of being rapists or being potential rapists. It is to remind you that rape can happen at anytime and there is no excuse for it. It is not on the same level of reminding people to not murder. Rape in society is not given the same treatment as murder. Rape is also not on the same level as a gold digger - so yes John Smith - I don't actually make it a habit to tell all the Ladies to make sure she can pay for her own jack & cokes but I'll get started on that memo ASAP. I'm glad your insulted and offended and I'm glad that all men are looking at this but what's not good is that you're getting immediately defensive and missing the point. It's to raise awareness for ALL. Women can rape men, men can rape other men, women can rape other women - Rape is about power, not sexuality. So thanks for your analogies and complete failure to grasp the context. However - the ads, especially if they offended you have done the jobs and now, now you can See that there just might be a problem.Charice, female

John...this campaign is not designed to destroy the fairytale image of marriage but to educate people like yourself on the realities of the suffering some people endure. These poor women and men suffer in silence so it's about time a campaign reached them on such a personal level.Anonymous, female

There is no such thing as marital rape unless the couple is in the process of separating.WTF???, female

I find it sad that the majority of men who have commented above somehow feel threatened by this campaign. It is a rape campaign designed to raise both men and womens awareness and challenge perceptions of both sexes towards rape. I congratualte Gareth Simpson for being mature enough to accept the importance of the campaign and understand that it isn't pointed directly at him simply because he is a male. For those of you who feel the campaign should also be aimed at women who rape men, or those who are victims of rape in a same sex relationship, all you are doing is highlighting how easily the public moan and groan about things but never do anything about it. Go and start your own hard hitting campaign. Well done Rape Crisis Scotland.Amy, female

I was fifteen when my boyfriend raped me. He was seventeen at the time. That was in July 2009. I am now trying to press charges. With thanks to websites like these, i gathered the courage to get help and support and bring the bastard to justice.Anonymous, female

This program is fantastic! Australia really needs something like this. Most of the guys I know don't need to learn this, but I know that there are many out there who still have these medieval beliefs.Vv, female

I think a lot of the comments on here (many from fellow men) are "focusing on the lyrics and ignoring the song". Marital Rape does exist, right alongside Domestic Abuse. Yet, to think that this campaign is trying to automatically equate marriage with rape... is pretty silly and WAY missing the point. It's about the idea of being "in a relationship" doesn't mean that rape can't occur. "But we're dating, we've been sexually active before" is just as valid. We call it "date rape". But not EVERY date has date-rape. Martial rape does occur, but obviously not in EVERY marriage. From a "creating-a-website-design" point of view, they had to say, "We need a photo that represents a "relationship", what would that be? What's more of a relationship-picture then a wedding photo?" To harp on such a specific point... is ignoring all the other points that are being made. I mean, come on, people.Brian, male

I think this is a fantastic campaign-very powerful. I am appalled at the prevalence of ideas that there is any reason, any excuse for rape and sexual abuse. It is an act of violence. Highlighting that rape does occur within relationships really brought home to me that a woman (and a man) always has the right to say no and for that to be respected. Intimacy need not always lead to sex. I hope that one day women will be liberated from living in fear of sexual assault.Laura, female

I wish that this campaign had existed 17 years ago. I was told, "It can't be rape, he's your boyfriend."squirrel, female

John Kirkwood, the picture is there because fairytale weddings do sometimes end up in rape. Open your naive eyes and stop running away from the issue. CONFRONT it. You will be running away from a country that cares enough about its women to try and make a change. You are denying that it has ACTUALLY HAPPENED. Wake upAnonymous, female

I have had enough. I struggled and fought with my husband this a.m. so he wouldn't have sex or as he puts it...make love to me. He forcefully held me down and pulled my pants down and I heard them ripping and also my night dress. After an hour of trying my best to turn him off he eventually gave up. this is not the first time, but probably the most rough of all, over the past 18 years. Our sex life is not great but only 4 months ago he confessed that he had sex with another woman, a past friend of mine. This happened over 3 years ago and i got the blame, because i wasn't giving him, what he wanted and that relationship started because i gave up on this girl, as a friend and she started speaking to my husband then. They text each other. he didn't tell me anything about it for months, although i already knew all about it. Anyway, marital rape is emotionally draining and i used to give into him at least once a week, to keep him off my back and he would be content for another while, AND yet I was left in turmoil. I don't know what to do. I do not love him but don't want to leave either because we have 3 sons.Jo-Ann, female

How upsetting, so many good men simply go with their knee jerk "but I'M not a rapist" reaction to the campaign instead of stopping for a moment and considering it. You might not be a rapist, but do you perpetuate the victim blaming? That goes for women too. If you don't, congratulations, ally. If you do, look closer at this fabulous campaign.Autumn, female

Being raped in an intimate relationship is difficult, but the psychological difficulties of wrapping your mind around what has happened is even harder. Rape is rape; regardless of the context in which it occurs.Kate, female

These ads are absolutely amazing. Every single one of them. I mostly identify and find the relationship ad poignant because of my previous personal experiences. Being in a relationship with the person that sexually assaults you is not only detrimental but so fucking confusing. When I was 16 years old, my 'super, cool, older, then, boyfriend' sexually assaulted me. At the time, I had willingly coped with his emotional abuse on many levels which sucked but what did I know? He was my "true love". Just like any emotionally unstable relationship, it didn't take too long before the twists and turns got way off course. That is when he sexually assaulted me. I felt I'm not sure what I felt. It was a mixture between lost and empty. I honestly didn't understand what had really happened and so I put it on the back burner of my mind. I literally spent years erasing the fact that it even actually happened (totally crazy, I know!). After bottling such a nightmare experience, I finally recently told my therapist. It was years before I even said a peep about it. Saying it out loud, made me confront the fact that it was sexual assault, even though it was my 'super, cool, older, then, boyfriend'. I'm sharing this in hopes that someone else can take my experience and learn from it or perhaps relate on any level. My advice to you is: Don't believe for a second that because someone is your partner, it means that they are allowed to sexually assault you and/or overall disrespect you. Don't be embarrassed like I was and don't hide it. I'm much older now and although, it has indeed left a watermark on my life, I just want others to know that they can get out of it. It's not real love when your partner disrespects you.Caryn, female

When I was at University my first boyfriend & I had some drinks and went back to watch a movie in my room. We had a cuddle and a kiss, he wanted to have sex, I said no but he continued. I never felt the same about him after but didn't think I had a right to be upset because we were together & had shared a bed before. But it was rape. I said no. My body didn't feel like my own the next day. Being in a relationship is about respecting the other person, and doing something to them that they do not want, invading their body, that is a betrayal of trust.Magpie, female

John Smith- My husband was a decent, hard-working 'normal' man who raped me. He wasn't a psychopath, he wasn't a nutcase. He was just a man who firmly bought into the idea that he had 'conjugal rights' and I wasn't doing my 'wifely duty' if I didn't sleep with him when he wanted it. He wasn't crazy or deviant or evil. Just selfish. It ended our marriage, and to this day he doesn't understand that forcing me to have sex when I'd said no is exactly the same as forcing a girl he didn't know to have sex with him. Just because we were married and had had sex hundreds of time didn't give him the right of my body whenever he wanted it. So the fact is, 'normal' men DO rape, and don't consider themselves to be rapists. It's sad that we NEED to have campaigns reminding men not to rape their wives- but I don't see it's sexist...Chantelle, female

you were part of the family, so i showed you love. Does that mean you had the right to molest me?Michelle, female

Have any studies been done into the emotional impact on raped women of themselves believing in the concept of a mans conjugal rights?Sophia, female

Unpleasent ads is not a bad way to go. Then people actually react to it, and society can stand up together against these unpleasenties that are still going on unpunished. These ads shouldn't just be in Scotland - they should be all over the world especially in all the countries where sex is a taboo or where women don't have any say.Kristine (DK), female

Just because you may have a happy, respectful marriage does not mean every woman is blessed with that circumstance. This campaign is not targeting marriage as leading to rape, it is attempting to spread awareness that rape can still happen in a marriage. John you are awfully quick to take offense, maybe YOU need to come to grips with the fact that marriage does not always exclude violence.Caroly, female

I'm appalled to see some of the comments about rape on the websites. This campaign is superb and it needs to be supported. I'm an abuse and rape survivor, my rapist/abuser was my boyfriend, I suffered hell for one year. To all the ones who think rape isn't possible in a relationship I can say.. don't think you ever went through such an ordeal and you're just stating BS. And please, let's stop thinking that it's easy to shut the door and leave. And John, by chance my ex was a John and had the same narrowminded views on women than you have. I guess you suppose your daughter couldn't be raped or abused by one of her boyfriends or husbands. Well THAT'S FALSE. The most majority of women indeed are raped into a relationship. Of all the rape reported, only 15% happened in a dark alley, the rest of the victims knew the rapist very well. Where do you live, in La-La Land? Where I live, raped women expose themselves everyday to see if the conviction rate goes over the 2%. Maybe we've to thank the procurators fiscal up here that 98% of the rapists walk away undisturbed. How would you feel if your wife or daughter were raped and her rapist was laughing at you after the trial? Very happy if you move away, I might give you the advice to go to Saudi Arabia, when you can lock up your beautiful wife and children at home, so they can ignore for life that rape exists.HighlandMerlin, female

Thank you for this site. As someone who was raped in a relationship andwho's friends blamed me, it's comforting to see this.Brayden, female

thank you, this has been helpful in understanding the pain learning that rape is rape no matter who is inflicting it.Some of us are tokd otherwise and aren't understood. it helps to know, some do seek truth and justice.Nadine , female

This site doesn't mention, nor do any comments seem to clarify, whether rape in a relationship exists without physical or emotional abuse as well. In fact every commenter who says they were raped in a relationship also says they were physically or mentally abused as well (at the time of the rape or other times). If sexual assault in a relationship never occurs "in a vacuum" then will telling women that the sex was rape really improve things for them? If they can't leave a man who is physically and/or mentally abusing them, does sexual abuse somehow tip the scales? I think we really need to focus on abuse of any kind, as certainly I think the others are a slippery slope to partner rape. Whether you want to focus on men recognising that their behaviour is wrong or women on coming forward with it.Anna, female

It's impossible to be raped in a relationship. If my husband wants sex, it's his sexual right to take it from his wife. This is how a loving relationship works.Jessica, female

Wow! So in Scotland if you flirt whilst you're drunk wearing skimpy clothing, you're asking for it! I'm so glad I live in Wales!Jenny, female

This website has helped me greatly and to all the 'trolling' men out there who are criticising they are ignorant to the fate of the victim. I am a survivor of rape. A lot of women suffer sexual abuse (1/4 of women in the UK?) and they are unheard, punished with haunting images of the atrocities forever and often become increasingly distressed without proper support. I was attacked by my boyfriend at the time. We were both out drinking; both very drunk and we went to bed. I woke to him taking my underwear off and forcefully raping me, no consent was given; I was too drunk and scared to move. We never spoke of it and he eventually left me, by this time I was medicated for depression, often felt pressured into sex and had become detached- even hated and blamed myself. I am now with a supportive partner but have panic attacks, insomnia etc. Without campaigns like this how could women like me gain a voice in a society that lets (some) men think they can take sex from women when they like. Sex is supposed to be about 2 people. I cannot find such good support in England as this campaign. Without it I would not even be able to blame my ex- partner, I would blame myself, I did blame myself and didnt realise it was rape until I spoke to someone. All anti-rape campaigning is good. Of course we should blame the men for rape when they are committing it. Victims and survivors ARE NOT TO BLAME for their attacksAlison , female

I wish there was something like this in America, A lot of men over here just don't get it...Amy, female

Several years ago, I was raped by my husband. We had only been married less than 6 months. Like many women, I chose not to report it. However, unlike some, I left him, moved to another state, and filed for divorce. I think this campaign is excellent for informing men that just because she is your wife, having sex with you is not her "job" to be forced upon her against her will.Kina, female

Running from problems never actually fixes them. Wherever you go, there will still be rape sadly. Why not get your children if they're old enough, to volunteer at a women's shelter? Or start a drive to collect items to make a women's shelter kit, like shampoo, make up, purses, and the things they would have had at home, to which they cannot return. Acts of kindness are worth a thousand good words. Keep up the good work, it is sorely needed!Emily, female

Thank you. Not many people consider this to be rape. The first counselor I went to see told me did I want attention from my parents, and that should be dealt with first. Like she didn't realize that some of my trust issues were tied up with the rape. In fact, I can count on one hand the people who believed me when I told them. And I am constantly shocked by people who say that it isn't rape, that I wasn't and couldn't possibly be raped that way. Even my fiance says that rape in a marriage can't happen. That a woman should know what she is getting into when he puts a ring on it, and that it's a form of consent. But it's not, and never is. If you had asked me before my ex started raping me, I would have told you he was the sweetest guy in the world, wouldn't hurt a fly etc. That is no indicator at all of what can happen later. And my vagina reserves the right to turn down invitations.Jezabelle, female

Words cannot describe how ignorant and insulting this picture is. It's a poster that has been put up in one of my University Unions. Here is, what I would presume to be, a newly happily married couple, in the car home after their service, in which they declared love and dedication to one another. Such a thing would require complete trust in one another. However, what this poster is actually being used for is to send a message; the new wife is letting us know that this moment is not an invitation to rape her. (And yes, it is coming from the wife as several other posters have been put up, like this one, and they all concern the female point of view.) Now, what this is basically saying is that, since her partner is a man, she must remind him that he shouldn't rape her. After all, all men are, by default, rapists. Of course. See how fucking stupid that is? I don't see posters up telling me not to murder people because, guess what, I don't actually want to. I'm not inherently a murderer, and neither am I inherently a rapist. It's true, there are some sick people out there; but what the hell does this poster actually achieve? Do you think for one second that, just because some ridiculous poster told them not to, they'd refrain from raping someone? "Oh, I really thought I might rape someone today, but then I saw a happy wife telling her happy husband not to rape her, so now I've changed my mind." Bullshit. All this poster does is to spread disingenuous, misandric nonsense, and the fact that it (and many other) posters are stuck up in my uni behind a glass case is just really, really infuriating.Egalitarian, male

I was raped by my husband. I don't think he took my pleas seriously. He had so little respect for my boundaries in all respects. We have since divorced, and I have yet to tell any friends or family about the abuse I endured. I don't want to cause any drama or to seem vindictive, yet he is free to treat other women this way. I don't know what to do. Thank you to this initiative for helping to shed light on this issue.Courtney, female

John--in this world, unfortunately, you can't just assume your kids will grow up with the attitudes you hope they would have towards relationships unless you teach them, and moving out of the country to avoid an anti-rape campaign is not a step in the right direction. For me personally, I grew up believing violence against prostitutes was no big deal--"they sell their bodies, they're worthless women, who cares?" It wasn't until college that campaigns like this one made me realize how wrong and destructive my subconscious beliefs about sexuality were, which led me to stand up for myself and demand respect in my own relationship. It's up to you to educate your kids!Leah, female

I'm personally very sad that the recent commenter, John Kirkwood, believes that a campaign about rape that features marriage is not appropriate. In order to protect his daughters and show respect to his wife, I do believe it would be more constructive to back this campaign. I believe that girls would benefit if the significant men in their lives, especially their fathers, support respect for women and tackle the admittedly difficult issues that raises . If my father did not have the attitudes he does about female dress, appropriate images and so on, I may have felt able to share my experience with him, and would be able to love him as I did beforeruth, female

Its time to take the focus off women and start to put it on the men that rape. When stories are printed keep the man's name front and centre. Don't allow the defense to bring up dress, drinking or relationship status in the trial, again keep the focus on the man's behaviour not the woman's.Taylor, female

It's fine having a law that makes rape illegal however this is no use if it's impossible to prove due to our antiquated legal system. Rapists do not have witnesses to their crime. Victims are so traumatised that collecting evidence is not their first priority. The fact your spouse is raping you is abhorrent and terrifying and no one wants to hear this or help you. Relationship rape is sadly the worst betrayal of trust and the most severe human rights issue. Thank you for this campaign it's time to face this unaddressed issue.Jennifer, female

I would like to see more research and questions asked about whether or not a women is consenting if she doesn't struggle or scream. Many women know that if they go into a state of shock when their 'no' isn't heard, and effectively 'leave their body' when their 'friend' or date keeps going, this is not consenting, this is a frozen, paralysed woman. Many woemen have feinged sleep in the vain hope that this will interpreted as 'not interested' and not available, not knowing what else to do. Again, this is not consenting, but is interpreted, by a terrfying number of men as 'available for intercourse'. Why is this attitude still so prevalent and what can we do about it? The impact that such an incident, when a 'no' or tears are simply ignored - can have on a woman for the rest of her life is profound, particularly when she is likely to blame herself for not having fought harder. So many of these instances are avoidable if education about consensual and non-consensual sex is better implemented for young men. Father's need to take a role in this, but it should also be implemented in schools. Please, can we save our young women from the horrific incidents that so many of them are haunted by for years to come.Esther, female

I have never been raped myself but i have a close friend who was raped by her boyfriend a the age of 14. When she turned to her friends at the time for help the left her because they either didn't believe her or felt it wasnt rape because she was in a relationship with the guy. So many times the attacker is let off the hook because its "not their fault." Being blamed for rape doesnt just happen to women. Plenty of men get told, if their attacker is female, that they wanted it. Not all men want sex from all girls like many people believe. My point, no one should have to be blamed for their own rape.Rebecca, female

Is it a marital rape if I do not wish to have sex with my husband, but am forced to do it because of the psychological pressure that as a wife I have to satisfy him sexually because of social, cultural and religious beliefs that define my marriage.Salome, female

Its the hardest feeling to feel the man you loved could hurt you. when you look in there eyes its not them. Even harder is the stigma that exists and having to fight your battle that this " friend" of yours could and did rape me and abused me for a long time. I wish people would open their minds and stop blaming the victims or making them feel like they are lying because we are victims of someone we loved, trusted and saw our futures with and now its all gone.Ruth, female

I completely agree with your campaign to highlight the problem areas with regard to rape and alcohol. Though I have been conducting a thought experiment in drinking. Male A and female B have just passed an exam and decide together to go wild and go drinking the night of getting their results. Neither one of them coerces the other too drink and they both drink alcohol at their own pace out of their own pocket. Both of them end up irresponsibly drunk. And the guy invites the girl back to his house where they end up having sex (he never intended the night to end that way). i - Given that both subjects are lacking in capacity does this make it rape simply because the guy instigated going back to his and the girl lacked capacity and he lacked the judgement to see that she didnt have the real capacity to consent? ii a) If she wakes up in the morning not remembering much but puts it down to a drunken mistake, but thought it was a fun evening does it change your answer to the first question? iii - if in the morning the girl is distressed by waking up next to the boy and he cant remember what happened either does that make him a rapist retrospectively based on a sobering up reaction. My main reason for asking this is that I know that predatory men use alcohol as an excuse and method to rape women but if both parties are irresponsibly drunk, if the guy gets labelled a rapist then he is essentially being told that he is responsible for their joint mistake. I would like to point out that in a world where we are fighting for gender equality to assume that only the man is responsible would be to undermime the woman as an individual equally capable of making drunken mistakes. Simultaneously this sort of thought experiment kind of shows a grey area, simply because some women in the morning would wake up and just think that was a fun night and others might feel raped. Though each perception is only retrospective to the action and cannot be known by the guy before hand. Im not trying to legitimise rape. I just wanted to raise a genuine question.Scott, male

my sister has just been freed from a relationship of silent abuse which she has undergone for some years, she is now being treated as a pariah by her rapist family, she is undergoing the loneliest and saddest time in her life and I hope and pray she will gain the strength to recover from this. Her rapist would not admit that violating her time and time again without her consent was wrong, NO to him meant yes to violate her while she slept time and time again. His family through lack of education have provided him with support- how sick is that and castigated her for removing herself from this horrendous life. Her rapist is a nice guy by day, rapist by night! He told her that a lot of his friends said his actions were normal in relationships, how dreadfully sad! Please run this campaign in schools and colleges, the youth of today need to be educated and the topic of RAPE needs to be discussed openly within the context of the law, for prevention. Lives need to be saved- the post traumatic stress for the victim and families is soul destroying, we as a family are distraught that this has happened to our beautiful gently kind sister and we are powerless within our given society to fight it through the courts, as we know that the law would not stand on the side of the victim. Education is key I commend you for this website, as do all the silent abused victims of rape world wide.lou, female

Being in my 40's,I didn't think I would be raped again.This time I was in a relationship though and I still suffer from PTSD.It has been 7 months since I left him and I still need counselling for it.Physically I have healed but menatally I am still living in fear of men.How long will it take to recover from this??sheila, female

I think the campaign is a great and informative way in getting the message across about rape, myths and the facts. The four sub headings in defining the different types of rapes and how they can occur is a fantastic way in changing people's attitude about rape. Long may this campaign continue with all the good it is promoting on such a sensitive subject.Sarah, female

Im dismayed and disappointed by so many of the negative comments on this topic. It only highlights further the need for such campaigns. Yes not all men are rapists and there are many types of rapes between genders. But this campaign aims to dipel the myth of the most common and under reported crime in the world. Many women themselves don't often consider it rape when their partner forces themselves on them when they don't want it. For years I thought it was normal for my ex husband to force himself into me when I didn't want it whether I was awake or asleep. I thought it wasn't rape because I put up little resistance. I was left with serious internal injuries and as the years went on he because!e more brutal rendering me unconscious on many occasions. After I8 years of torment, being suicidal, depressed and having panic attack I finally report end him to the police. Not all the rapes were physically painful or violent, does that mean it wasn't rape? Some years I was so terrified I could barely speak and say no. Does that mean it wasn't rape? To this day he still thinks that what he did was not rape because we were married. And people over the years that I tried to tell made unhelpful comments that made me feel that as his wife I had no right to say no or fight back. I discovered many years ago that fighting back simply made it worse. Does that mean I consented? I didn't speak up much because of negative attitudes like I've read from the comments on this site. And going to trial means facing a jury with many who have attitudes like those on this site who believe the problem is exaggerated or the impact of partner rape is not as serious as stranger rape. Those of you who think that need to educate yourselves as the trauma of being afraid of someone I loved deeply and had children with is devastating. Those attitudes are what stop women like me from coming forward. We are made to feel ashamed and that what we've experienced doesn't matter. Furthermore it makes conviction is extremely low because of such prevelant attitudes amongst jurors. The campaign is not perfect but at least it is trying to change attitudes. And to say that it won't stop a rapist, well just as so many women do not consider what happened to them as rape, many men do not think what they do to their wives is rape. My husband was Mr nice guy by day, didn't have a temper, never hit me or called me names. But he did think that I should give him sex whenever he wanted because that was his right as a husband and he used in the bible to reinforce these notions. Most women I know have either suffered some form of sexual assault or know someone who has been assaulted so this problem is very widespread. Burying our heads in the sand and pretending its not happening is not going to change attitudes.sarah, female

I used to wake up to my husband having sex with me. When I woke pand tried to get him to stop, he would coerce or bully me until I gave in an I was frightened he would become enraged and wake up the children. I left the marriage when I woke up to him having sec with me and this time I really struggled to get away but he had me pinned down. I went to the police but there was not enough evidence for a conviction and during the investigation he did everything to discredit me. The police were amazing and did what they could but without evidence and the high burden of proof required to prosecute, it was never going to be easy. A year on, I am glad that I did it. If another woman goes to the police about him my case is on file. Unless more wives speak out, nothing will change. I did it to protect my daughters. I did not want them growing up in a society where they felt powerless.M V, female

The dictionary definition of rape is, "The crime of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will". Getting married doesn't change this, it doesn't automatically make what you want to do or what you don't want to do irrelevant. No matter what kind of relationship you are in you should ALWAYS have the right to decline sexual intercourse.Daisy, female

This just happened to me. I don't know how to stop it without ruining my marriage. Help!Amber, female

Just because a you marry a man does not mean you no longer have a right to say no. I was raped repeatedly by my spouse and didn't understand it was rape till he escalated how he would coerce and force himself on meKay, female

My husband of 21 years always had a higher sex drive than me so when he done things to me when I was asleep I was to be grateful he fancied me. When he was so persistent to the point I was crying it was easier to go along with it crying and then when he was done I could cry and clean myself in the bathroom he never once pinned me down to do this so it took me 15 years to realise what he was doing to meHeather, female

It's very good to know that I was right to end the relationship I was previously in because he was emotionally manipulating me into having non-consensual sex. It took me a year to even begin to terms with it and I am still suffering from it now. Non-consensual sex is always rape and people need to be more aware that this can happen even in relationshipsSarah, female

Please remove the comment from John. If your life is so amazing why are you even on this website? People are raped after their fairytale wedding and people need to be educated. Which ever country you go to, marital rape will still exist. Stop being so nave. Perhaps you will feel differently and regret your comments if your daughter is raped by her partner/husband later in life. This is a superb campaign. Keep it up.Jane, female

I found the acknowledgement that partner rape does occur extremely validating. I was repeatedly raped by my ex partner and felt that because I eventually would stop resisting and submit that this was not actually rape (even though I was crying). I would do this to avoid physical and emotional abuse or threats of infidelity. We were married and I would have said that I loved him at the time. To this day he would probably not think there was anything wrong with what he did and at the time he had me convinced that I was the problem in that my libido completely dropped off after having a baby. Both men and women benefit from an increased understanding of the need for consent to be freely given each and every time sex happens.Kirsty S, female

General campaign comments

This campaign is fantastic. It provides a much needed challenge to prevalent women blaming myths about rape and I'm sure that it will provoke lots of heated discussion and debate. Hopefully some attitudes will be changed but it will certainly, at the very least, make people think. Thank you for putting it out there.Ellen, female

This is fantastic. It asks all the right questions and probes into all the right preconceived notions, and turns them on their head. What it comes down to is the rapist should be on trial, not the person who has been raped. Any man that doesn't have the control to not rape a woman has done a severe wrong, regardless of the victims situation, dress, behaviour etc. I shudder to think that a man I was in a relationship with could rape me. Whilst it would be emotionally painful to be betrayed by one you trust, any man who thinks he has the 'right' to my body and can take it when he wants should be punished by law.Jenny, female

Thank you. Just thank you. Edie, female

I wish that I had known this all before. He told me that it wasn't rape because I was obviously aroused. They said I deserved it because I'd led him on. I blamed myself so much and for so long I let it happen again and again.Alexander, male

I respect and applaud this campaign, however, it's not only men that are rapists.Anon, male

An absolutely spot-on campaign.Roushan, female

What is the point of allowing a comment section if there is no room for open debate and discussion? Understanding comes through discourse and explaination, not simply sledgehammering messages with holes in them at people. I previously submitted a comment questioning one of the fundemental legal problems which leads to the low conviction rate in Scottish rape and sexual assault trials, it has been blocked and the comment no doubt lost. If people can't ask questions then how can they learn? I have hopes for this campaign but if all it will do is pay lip service to helping and making change then the money would be better spent funding legal cases and rehabilitation for victims. [Note see the Drinking section for original comment]The Devil's Advocate, male

Fact is it is predominantly men who commit rape and it is predominantly men who rape other men. Do we have to keep repeating the old mantra - rape is overwhelmingly committed by men against women and children. It is rare for a woman to commit rape but yes it does happen. The statistics for women committing rape are miniscule compared to the numbers of men and teen boys committing rape. Check out the campaign site for factual statistics on male sexual violence against women.Hecuba, female

This campaign's idea is good, obviously. The way it's carried out makes me wanna cry. It's far from "spot on", it targets wrong audience, it uses means of communication which are inefficient, it attempts to create a controversy where none should be. I already expressed opinion about this poor piece of "marketing" on its facebook group, and unless someone enlightens me why and how exactly this incomperhensible, impersonal, moot thing should help, I would be really surprised. I guess big posters with "Rapists should be shot. Period." would do better job than this. My 5p.PeterKraus, male

A fantastic campaign. However, the website URL is a tad long. Most men I know wouldn't be able to reach this address without assisstance. I always have a strange feeling I'm one of few men to have respect for women, as most of the afforementioned men tend to adopt the "They're asking for it" view, especially in the case of drunkeness and revealing clothing. I reckon I need new friends.James, male

Absolutely terrific campaign. Just the right message to get across in a very powerful way.Andrew, male

This campaign effectively states that ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS ! I resent this abusive feminist sexist slander. Go and get yourselves a wee life somewhere. The way most british women look nowadays anyway ( dress or should I say Sack-size 16+) I'm amazed that any bloke would want to have sex with them at all ! all, never mindAdam AndEve, male

I applaud this campaign. There are still an appalling number of people who believe women are partly to blame for rape. That this is being challenged head on can only be respected.Joe, male

"humiliation experienced by female complainers in court is well documented" And out of court? Accused men's names are revealed to press and word of mouth, public humiliation and mob mentality is far more damaging (life threatening in many cases) than the anonymity females get.Jeff, male

Adam AndEve, rape is not about sex. It about violence and control and in most cases nothing to do with whether the man thinks the woman is aesthetically pleasing or not.J, female

About time! When is this campaign coming to England as well? Why are women always asked to modify their behaviour when it is the sick perpetrators of rape who can make excuses. If we were all sober and wore clothes that covered our bodies would rape stop? I don't think so. Thanks again. We should all spread the word!Jess, female

I absolutely agree with the Devil's Advocate - what's the point of proposing a discourse on the subject of rape without providing a suitable forum within which a debate can take place? People learn from discussing issues not having them forced down their throat, that's called propaganda.clare, female

This is a great idea. I am in full support.John, male

Brilliant campaign posters really catch the eye. Shame we actually need the campaign in the first place! It seems like such an obvious thing to say 'dont rape'. But anything that gets people to report rape, change hideous opinions that the woman is to blame and gets the conviction rate to something resembling justice has to be a good thing. 2.9% is just disgusting. Now THAT's an invitation to rape- you're 97.1% likely to get away with it! People are up in arms over a wrong conviction but what about those 97.1% of victims who never see justice. What can I do to help change this?Caz, female

Adamandeve, rape is NOT a compliment. Saying that only women thinner than a size 16 are rapable ignores the reality that women (children and men too) of all sizes, shapes, and colors, are raped.lilith, female

If you feel "forced" to be here, then LEAVE. And, nowhere on this site does it say ALL rapists are men! What fragile egos y'all have! And, limited attention spans. Wah. Factually, MOST rape perpetrators are MEN! Go talk to your male friends and try and wake them up out of their idiotic, self-entitled misogyny. Love, a woman. P.S. If you want some kind of discourse, start by talking to your female friends about their experiences- it can be quite the shock to realise that most, if not all of them have been assaulted at least once in their lifetime. Imagine that.Doctress Julia, female

I was raped nearly 2 years ago when I was too innebriated to talk, never mind consent to sex. I felt for such a long time that it was my fault, and sometimes still have those feelings of doubt. There's still not a day goes past that I don't think about it and feel sick and afraid. This campaign is so important. No one should be made to feel the way I have over the last 2 years... No one has the right to someone else's body just because they are vulnerable and not able to say no. Your campaign has helped me to believe in myself just a little bit more. It wasn't my fault. Thank you.G, female

This is such a brilliant campaign, thank you. I studied the misconceptions around rape as part of a module on my degree, and I can't believe people in this day and age still engage in victim-blaming. Rape seems to be the only crime where it's seen as ok to put the victim on trial in a way that would not be tolerated in any other crime. How many victims of muggings have been told, "Oh well, you know it's your fault, you were wearing an expensive suit, you were practically asking for it?" Newsflash - it is ALWAYS the fault of the perpetrator. The sooner the public realises this, the sooner the conviction rate for this horrendous crime will go up.Natasha, female

This campaign is long, long overdue. To anyone in Glasgow's West End, look out for events and actions highlighting and campaigning against violence against women organised by Glasgow University Amnesty International Student group this month. http://www.guamnesty.org.uk/Andrew, male

its about time something like this came about,despite being a guy i think the idea that because woman dresses a certain way or behaves a certain way that she should be raped or was "asking for it" is completely ridiculous and just shows the stupidity of peoples views on such a subjectMike, male

This is truly the most shocking campaign ever. what makes it worse is the importance of the subject it's tackling, or trying to. Of course the statistics are shocking, the number of rapists convicted in particular, but this shoddy attempt at a message simply facilitates all the wee... [This part of comment edited due to abusive language] They're going to see these adverts and think, "hey, it's not our fault at all! let's be even [word deleted due to to abusive language] and get more drunk!" Is this really what the ads were going for? Well done if it was - let's see how those statistics go up now!campbell, male

Thank you... I want to do everything I can to support this.McKenna, female

Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic. People need to learn that the first No means No, regardless of what a person is wearing, how drunk they are, and what they've done in the past. Now let's add another option to that gender bar above and start including trans people as well, because I know this a pertinent issue for them too.Jessica, female

To those people who feel the website is blaming "all men", why don't you give examples of exactly what part of the website is blaming ALL men and give examples of how you would make the campaign better. Otherwise your comments aren't very helpful. How rape victims are perceived and blamed is a real problem and something must be done. The website is based on facts to counter that blame. I don't really expect this campaign to make a big difference but it is necessary and a start and I hope the people in charge of this campaign don't give up and do others about messages of same-sex rape, male rape, why it's hard to leave a violent relationship (lots of blame there too), and on this site make sure you're clear that unattractive, sober, older women get raped too. It is about power. So keep it up. It takes time to change decades of women blaming thoughts. Maybe at first this will do more for youth who have less strongly formed opinions.Lyndsay, female

This is a good campaign...I've seen so many posters about it and it has made me come onto the website just to see what they were properly about. well done. But I also think that it should be considered that it's not always the man that is the rapist and that in this day and age that fact should be strongly highlighted. The taboo concerning men being the rape victim is bad enough and I think this should be thought about.Lyndsey, female

I'm impressed with this campaign. Is it perfect? No. Is it mostly excellent and incredibly important? Absolutely. Having been an advocate and counselor for survivors of sexual violence for several years, I have heard these very myths repeated by perpetrators of sexual violence, by people who hearing about incidents, and most heartbreakingly of all, by survivors. I am so glad to see these myths challenged. We need a serious change in the discourses on rape, and this campaign is a step in the right direction. To all the men who worry that this campaign calls us all rapists, read it again, and look at what it actually says rather than what you expect it to say. To all the men who worry about false rape charges, a man may be falsely accused every once in a while, and that is wrong and awful. The fact is, though, that an abysmally low percentage of rapes are reported, and of those reported rapes, the percentage that are made up is between 2 and 3. This is not to say that it is any less wrong when it does happen, but rather that it happens extremely infrequently. To all the people out there who say that rape is not always by a man against a woman, you're right. But a single campaign can't save the whole world. Hopefully, more campaigns addressing different faces of sexual violence will come out in the near future, because the other, less commonly discussed faces of sexual violence are just as deserving of discussion. To anyone who thinks that a survivor of sexual violence is ever responsible for what happened to him or her, no. When someone is raped, choice is taken away from him or her by the rapist, and without choice, there can be no responsibility; that is what the title of this campaign is getting at. Remember, consent is not the absence of a "no" - it's the presence of a "yes." To all the survivors of sexual violence out there, stay strong. Peace from Massachusetts,Rob, male

The reality is however that there are people who would view these pictures as an invitation to rape. Education may be the answer.RR, female

I don't think these pictures teach girls personal responsibility - the wedding one is hard hitting and should make males address the issue of what constitutes rape - I do feel very strongly that girls should be taught that they are part of the problem if they lead men on either by dressing provocatively or behaving provocatively. You can't always blame men.G, female

Making young women aware of the dangers of excessive drinking & dressing provocatively and how some abusers perceive this. There will always be people who think women ask for it.R, female

glad to see there is now advertising for this subject that is appropriate to the people it is advertised to-I'm not sure about the whole "myth-" part but I hope this all contributes to reducing or stopping rape casesTom, male

Lyndsay - it's not blaming all men as such, but by mass-market targetting of presumably all men and informing them "by the way, rape is wrong" is presuming that the men who read it are too stupid to realise rape is wrong. Ergo men can feel patronised by it, and for many feel they have no chance to defend themselves. There is an implicit message that they don't know it's wrong, which is why they need to spend thousands on informing them. Imagine the frustration for a man who can't defend himself from a poster which thinks he's completely ignorant to right and wrong. What would you do in that position?Rich, male

After spotting a billboard of this capaign I did a bid of reasearch and I am appaled at the opinions of many young men. (and even more appaled at the opinions of older men) What kind of society do we live in, where a women can actually be blamed for being raped?! And how is it possible that such mhyts as presented in thsi campaign, are widely accepted?! I am shocked. Yet, the justice system does not take any action to punish rape harder, especially when the offender was the partner or husband of the victim. This campaign is exellent to raise awareness and might help to further push the boundaries to reach gender equality. Love, trust and respect between men and women is a beautiful thing and cases of rape and common 'myths' destroy the foundations for a healthy relationshi between the genders.Maria, female

Thanks for a brill' campaign. i t made me realise i was NOT to blame for illiciting an inappropriate response from a male professional, just because my nipples happened to be prominent!! I was wearing a bra and perfectly "normal" clothes, and did not in any way flirt, but still ended up in an extremely intimate text situation which i let go further than it should because i somehow felt i was obliged as i must have encouraged it. The guy has a girlfriend and i now feel used and taken advantage of. your campaign made me feel better about myself and not alone. thank you.Liz, female

I once read that the human brain does not compute the word "not" very efficently. eg if you continually say im feeling "not bad" then you sub-concise will think you are saying i feel "bad". If this is true then isnt this camapin sub-concisly promoting rape?Ben, male

My teacher told us that if you start to get intimate with a man then you have to follow it through, and if they rape you it is because you led them on because it is difficult for a man to stop. This really confused me.mary, female

"Imagine the frustration for a man who can't defend himself from a poster which thinks he's completely ignorant to right and wrong. What would you do in that position?" I keep trying to compare this to a hypothetical campaign about race. If a campaign were trying to get white people to put less blame on blacks for whatever issue, if the campaign were clear about the problem I would not be offended. But then, I already acknowledge that I have more opportunity and privilege than a person of colour. I can see how that hypothetical one and this could seem offensive to a person who thinks everybody has equal opportunity and that they are not a part of the problem of sexism and racism. But we have to do something to make people think. I don't see how it's possible to offend no one while still getting the message across. People seem to get offended easily rather than considering that a poster might have merit and be based on truth.Lyndsay, female

This is total bullshit. Women always want to have everything both ways. Equality: Anything that applies to men applies to us Feminism: We can do whatever feels good, and if we feel bad about it afterwards then men are to blame. Clearly these are both distinct and contradictory views, so for as long as women refuse absolute equality, men aren't going to take them seriously.Jeff, male

EVERYONE is talking about these posters and there seems to be much debate about what message they are trying to convey etc. I think they are brilliant! hard hitting, sharp, effective and I love that they are brave enough to say RAPE in them and, for me, there is no debate about the message....it's crystal clear...NO MATTER WHAT a woman is never responsible for being raped.....ever!lynne thomas, female

Great job! I also work with an organization to promote the same kind of awareness that you guys do, and it is a very rewarding experience to help empower women, and make sure that they are not the ones to be blamed for rape.Miruna, female

Good campaign, but it shouldn't just focus on women getting raped. A friend of mine was raped and since then it has definitely affected his relationships.Anon, male

This is a wonderful campaign that really highlights the prejudices still felt by people on the issue of rape. No woman is to blame when she is raped - it doesn't matter what the situation is - NO means NO. Thank you for the work you are doing.Gemma, female

you should probably consider a shorter domain name for this web...hellokitty, male

This campaign focuses on rape of women because most rapes are by men, of women, and every newspaper is full of these myths. This campaign does not say all men are rapists. It just states that in every rape, the rapist is to blame. Which is true. Good luck.Helen, female

I think it is brilliant that somepeople actually believe that it doesnt matter what you are wearing if you have been flirting or if you have drank to much its still never any womans fault that they get raped never has been never will beCatherine rae, female

This campaign is a fantastic idea. I truely hope it is effective and helps reduce the levels of rape in thic country and further afield. I would also say that there should be a campaign to raise awareness of male victims and encourage men to report sexual crime against them. We rightly encourage women to report these crimes, however little awareness is raised of them against men and many men feel that it is inapropriate to report these crimes because people would say "your a man, you probably enjoyed it". I work in an enviroment where intamate clinical procedures should only be carried out by men on women when necessary and with a female escort, while i agree with this completely i am sad to say that the same rule does not apply to women carrying out intemate procedures on men. As a result of this i have encountered men who are humiliated because they have become erect during a procedure. They feel they cant complain because people insinuate they enjoy it. All victims are equal and i hope this campaign helps to reduce the number of cases and give the victims the courage to report them. good work, keep it up.Scott, male

This site has helped me understand more about the rules and laws about rape !Julie , female

While I applaud the motives behind this campaign, I can't help but feel that it gives the wrong message. Rapists are not going to see the adverts and say, "Oops I thought it was ok to rape girls with skimpy clothes - but I won't now". However, it seems more likely that a girls will see it and think "Aah so I can wear that and be safe". We tell people to lock their houses and hide valuables, why not with this? It's sad that it's like this, but that's the way the world is, and we should be trying to protect people.Stuart, male

I think that this campaign is well needed and well thought out.Nothing at all is in a invitation for a man to commit rape. I have been in abusive relationships and been raped by partners.Men do not own women and no should always mean no, no question what so ever.S, female

Jeff, are you implying rape "feels good" for the woman? Maybe you should try a dictionary before using big words...Linda, female

I agree that rape is a horrendous crime where the assailant must be punished severely. However, I do believe that open flirting, engaging in sexual activity and wearing highly revealing clothing is not the best way to protect oneself from attack. After all, if I walked down the street with money hanging off my clothes and my mobile sticking out my pocket, then I should take part responsibility for the fact that I'd be robbed.James, male

I wish we had something like this in the US as well. The campaign is well thought out and thought provoking. THANK YOUGigi, female

Very educational and informational. This is a great way to get the message out there.Peter, male

Linda: If a women is raping a man then in general, feeling good is a large part of the reason for that. I realize many women don't like to acknowledge the fact that such a thing is possible, but it happens with far more regularity than you probably think. I don't know if you saw the comment on the alcohol tab near the top, but in essence it says that if a woman, who had been drunk at the time, later decides that the sex had been non-consensual, she could press charges for rape, and would almost certainly win. If a man did the same, how likely to win do you think he would be?Jeff, male

Every woman has the right to wear the clothes she likes, have fun with her friends and has the right to say no at any point, without the fear of rape. the publics attitude should support woman who have been victims of rape not blame them, societys views must change!Jo , female

The results of the survey I took were shocking. they should be advertised to let people know the true facts about rape, and the statistics that everyone needs to hear. thankyouLyndsay, female

Educate and prepare young men to be good citizens, ads like this do nothing to prevent rape, they only serve to stir paranoia amongst the female population. I don't live in Scotland but, I feel sorry for the men in those communities. Aside from the air of reverse sexism that I detect, it appears as though this campaign does nothing to address males being raped.John R., female

i am so pleased that this campaign has come to light as there are so many victims out the who are in the dark regarding this very touchy subject. As a victim of rape myself this campaign gives alot of hope to even the most timid person dealing with these issues. if theres anyone out there wanting to talk t6o someone whos been in this situation im always here to listen. be strong and remember its not your fault. theres light at the end of the tunnel.nicky, female

This is worrying to see that you are most likely to be raped by someone you know, and that so many people think that it is sometimes a womans fault for being raped due to the clothes that she wears or the way in which she acts, there as most people would surely have thought that it is never a womans fault as she never wanted to be raped.Emily&Heather, female

I trhink that rape is dwead bad and people should stop raping people because it is badMJ, male

Frankly, I think the whole campaign has been long - awaited, and will go to much use. Thanks.Marcus, transgender

we are enraged at the views jeff has expressed in the previous comment, rape for a women is NEVER enjoyable and we agree with Linda, you have missed the point that rape is non consented sex, a women should never feel that it is her fault. being treated as equals should consist in both sides as a man should never make a women feel worthless by forcing sex upon her.Emily&Heather&Kirstin, female

I find this campaign highly evocative, the snappy posters really provoke people as I have already heard. I admire your choice in domain name aswell it is rather long but super cool. Wel done scotland together i think we can exterminate those bad rapists. IMJ, male

Just had my attention brought back to this. You know the figures if you look at the actual study are very hand picked to give a very misleading picture. From the same study - 3% of respondents thought it was ok to pressure a woman into having sex. A far cry from the statistics here which have been misrepresented. Lyndsay - thanks for replying, but in my opinion there are better ways than putting up provocative posters to change people's thinking. Remember it was Germaine Greer who said all men are potential rapists - do we want this kind of culture of fear trickling down? Meanwhile, rape crisis centres are still in crisis from a lack of funding. Which seems to have got spent on posters. Oops.Rich, male

I think the posters and billboards are amazing, when i first seen them I was unsure what they were for but then I started looking for them to find out what they were for and then I just had to visit the website. I feel its about time that more was done about these things. I hope what is being done here help and ensures that the percentage of rapes in our country decreases because people that this happens to arent just statistics, they have lives and feeling and families - no one deserves rape, a rapest is the lowest of the low!Lou, female

"In Scotland, only 2.9% of rapes recorded by the police currently lead to a conviction" Do you mean 2.9% of alleged rapes? If not, what evidence do you have that the courts failed to consider? I'm in full support of your campaign but weak statistics will weaken it.Hamish, male

Jeff, what on earth are you talking about? That's nothing like what feminism means. And rape is rape. If you were raped, say by another man, would you just go "well, law of the jungle!"?Hamish, male

I think this campaign has caused more harm than good. It is more likely to be ridiculed than be taken seriously. Is the other message that we are receiving from this campaign that if we as males do not see a situation on one of these posters, then it IS an invitation to rape? Some may take this as being unreasonable, but surely this campaign is targeting those that are unreasonable (in that they have weak sense of reasoning). Why not have a campaign targeting black persons, telling them that "This is not an invitation to shoot me". Well done Campaign People, I shall be ridiculing these posters to all I know for years to come.Willie, male

This is great. Not so great as actually to be worth two hundred thousand pounds of all of our money, obviously, but great nonetheless. And by "this", I mean the comments section, not the website as a whole (which is preposterous): creepy misogynist weirdoes versus man-hating feminazi weirdos. It's like a Roman circus.Anonymous, transgender

This is a load of crap, that picture where the woman has undone the guys belt, what does she expect to happen in that situation. She deserves rape if thats how she acts.Big John Dyke, male

Tbh i think that the law needs changed... to both help protect women and men. As it is VERY easy for a woman to say he raped me when he may not have! I think that punishment should be put on women if they lie as it is a VERY serious offense! Also my thing is, if she says no, that's it!Nick, male

I've never seen such a load of biased, agressive, feminist crap in my life. If your "poster child" doesn't want sex she should keep her hands out of the lad's trousers!Amanda, female

Clearly this is provoking a lot of debate and only debate and challenging the myths and social conditioning can change our views on predators and prey. This is a complex issue, and public debate will hopefully get us all thinking and absorbing the message, which is so important. Legislation and the legal process must change. If we all tolerate the outdated beliefs and values, what will push change through ? Clearly this campaign cant be all things to all people, and some will feel targeted and left out, but at least it's a really important starting point for the largest section of society affected, so hopefully more campaigns can follow on the back of this as a result of this step. No one asks to be nor deserves to be raped, male or female, young or old.Annette, female

I am a two time survivor of rape. I can say from experience that it scars you for life. There is very little that can be done to help erase the images that are stuck in your head and the emotional scars that last a lifetime. Very rarely do the offenders get what they deserve. The victims are treated poorly and made to feel filthy, when in fact they did not deserve any of it. I know in my case alone I did not deserve it , I was only 5 years old the first time and the second time was when I was 12. No one deserves to have the sacredness of sexual intimacy taken from them. I loved this add. I wish that there were more of them out there.Lorraine, female

Whilst I applaud the need to address the appalingly low conviction rate for rape I have serious concerns about the underlying message of this capaign - that victims of rape are not responsible in any way for, in may instances, the vulnerable position they find themselves in. That is complete and utter naivety. Consider a young man walking in the dead of night alone in a high crime area carrying a large wad of cash. Whilst condeming rightly the thugs who eventually relieve him of his cash, would we not also consider his actions grossly irresponsible?. *Everyone* is responsible for their actions - from the rapist who forces a woman against her will to the woman who through foolishness or stupidity renders herself incapable of rational judgement and allows herself to be put in a vulnerable position. That is not to say she is to blame for the eventual outcome but she is partly responsible for putting herself in this position in the first place. Blame and responsibility are not the same thing and this campaign confuses that message, leading to more, not less, confusion on what is an extremely important issue.Neil, male

I am appalled at this campaign. It is basically condoning an already very present "prick teasing" attitude among girls ; warranting for their "right" to dress like harlots (in avoidance of a harsher word), and completely taking away the interactive dimension of flirting. This campaigns fails to address about 90% of its targets - AKA, men who are NOT disposed to raping. But it's not like advertising was gonna save the world anyway...Lexi, female

Has no one realized that the chances of a rapist seeing this campaign and changing his mind on his views of rape are very very small? Surely them money would be better spent on rape victim support or something similar.Boaby, male

To all of the men saying that this campaign is forgetting that men get raped too, it is YOU who are missing the point. Since when has general consensus been that 'men/boys who got raped were wearing something provocative/asking for it" ?? This is about changing peoples attitudes towards women.H, male

Obviously not. But do you think as many people would commit rape if it wasn't so easy to get away with it? The campaign challenges the statistics, the lack of convictions, and the awful habit of people getting away with rape by saying their victims are to blame. If there were less barriers like these for rape victims, more rapists would get just punishment; and hopefully more would-be-rapists, for whom the effects on their victim clearly isn't enough to stop them, might think about the consequences in their OWN lives - a jail sentence and being labelled as a sex offender are just a few examples. I think the campaign is a great way to encourage frightened victims to fight for results, and shake off their own guilt.Stacy, female

For all those people saying that a woman should not flirt with/kiss/go back to a mans house, if she wants to avoid being attacked. Here is another way of looking at it. Say you are invited to dinner by a friend. You get ready, you go round, you have a drink, but then you decide that you really aren't all that hungry for one reason or another. You feel awkward but you tell your host that you really don't want any dinner. Does the host then have the right to hold you down and force the food down your throat, because they went to all that trouble and you wanted dinner before, you turned up, drank their wine, so why not now? Great campaign by the wayJon, male

i think this campaign is great. it is about time people know the facts about rape. there are too many people out there who think women lie about it, due to their fashion sense or how much alcohol they have had but finally the record is being set straight.Katy, female

Thank you so much. Maybe people will finally stop saying "she was asking for it" and start looking at the rapist and saying "what a sick ba***rd"Fae, female

I spent close to 10 years being raped and abused by my mums now ex-partner... I was a child of 8- did i ask to be raped.. did i flaunt my breats and say "please rape me" NO the idea of it being the womans fault for not dressing appropriatly or revealing her cleavage is absolutely ridiculous! why cant we be proud of our bodies with out being seen as a "tart". why do men feel like we are theyre property and that it is their right to touch you or ogle you. im not a "man hater" because of what this man done to me but merely stating that yes generally it is a man that rapes/ abuses woman-no matter what anyone says.. I was just fortunate enough in my experience to of found the strength to never let him win and put him behind bars..it isnt easy and i would never lie to anyone to say that it is..by god its a harrowing experince ...u live each day in darkness..u feel like ur crawling barefoot in the woods with no hope of ever reaching an end..but there is hope there is light..it wont ever come quick as we all deal with out experiences differently but u have to find the inner strength to fight back ....think of it this way...they have only ruined your life for a short period of time (even tho this should never of happened) but believe me u have it in you because u deserve happiness and u deserve a wonderfull life..we all do..just dont ever give up please...they dont deserve to have justice on their side..they dont deserve to get away with it because if theyve done it to u ..theyl usually so it again to someone else.the hardest part i found was actually telling someone...going to the police..i actually passed out when i waslked into the glasgow headquarters but i knew i had to..i has no choice he was still raping my sister too and i had to protect her..and i did.being the coward he was he ran away..the police caught him tho and he kept saying it was partly consented!-(thats there things) u then have to prove(even tho u r the victim)that he did rape you! its a nightmare..he eventually pleaded guilty right at the last minute when i was just getting called to stand up in court-COWARD! he got 8years would of got 12 if he hadnt of pled guilty but hey..in my opinion im just happy that hes been regognised for the momster he is and hel never have a life again..whereas you/i can..free yourself from the bad anmd live your life..dont fear it dont fear him or her...you are strong and believe in yourself and never ever let anyone tell you you cant be who you r.im a stronger person now..i grew up early(i had to) but to be honest ina asad way im devasted as to the fact this had to ahpppen to make me a stronger person but as the saying goes ...the hardships we have in life make us stronger. so be strong..stand out and be proud..u never asked for it! good luck.nicky, female

yeah, the idea of having a penis and not being responsible for it seems to be social accepted 'norm', it is quite self-ptying and abhorrent though, not to mention invasive.... get some confidence and respect, for yourself and others. Keep well everyone.Jakob , transgender

deary me a whole website about rape.... granted a very important subject, but who thought this up anyone who has all these misconceptions about rape and such things wont be able to type the bloody name... so really its here for people that already knew about it all... sooo... byerobert, male

How is it always the guys fault? I personally feel that women have forced themselves upon me on numerous occasions. I feel my cute looks are quite an asset and I feel that I can not take a pride in my appearance any more as women seem to think this is an invitation to come on to me. To be perfectly honest, this campaign should focus in both genders instead of the "IT"S ALWAYS THE MANS FAULT" approach.Graeme Stevenson, male

A friend once told me that her friend was verbally trying to get a man to stop hassling her on the bus. They both got off the bus. He raped her. No one on the bus interferred. They said this was because they thought it was "just a domestic".Clare Murphy, female

I used to think that men had little control over their lust, because all of the myths are telling us just that. In fact this belief is very patronising to men. Men can take responsibility for their actions, which is why not all men are rapists. It is about time public awareness was heightened and this campaign goes a long way to dispel the myths. It is fantastic!Dorothy, female

You have done a brilliant job in raising awareness with this website. Thanks, and keep up the good work.Mike, male

What a great campaign. Someone once said to me, "When I was at school, girls were taught how to protect themselves, but the boys were never taught not to rape" - it's about time there was a campaign about something other than women having to curtail their actions to prevent rape.Mooji, female

I find this campaign wonderful. People have such a bad attitude towards rape. The public need to have a different attitude towards rape. It is never a woman's fault, she never deserves it so I think this campaign is phenomenal. I hope it succeeds in changing people perception of rape drastically.Taylor, female

Thank you, especially for the "Intimacy" myth. After reporting my rape to the police, they tried to make me feel like it was my fault because I had been flirting with my attacker. No still means no!B, female

It is really sad to see how many deliberately insulting comments are on this page (ie the one by "Big John Dyke" stating a woman deserves rape for behaving in certain ways). WHAT? Men AND Women have self control, and the ability to make choices regarding how far they go or changing their mind). It is ins Comments like that are insulting to most men, who are more than capable of using their brain to control their behavior, rather than a fairly insignificant part of their anatomy that a few depraved individuals choose to use as a weapon.alana, female

If a partner lies in order to get consent, is that still rape?Nikki, female

I've recently begun working with a psychology experiment that deals with rape and it has really opened my eyes to the full definition of rape and how common it is. I never realized how close I've come to being raped and how many of my friends have been raped. It's incredibly scary, but so good that people are beginning to pay attention to it!Catherine, female

To all the rape apologists and others bashing this website, you have EVERY RIGHT to criticise. However, why not try CONSTRUCTIVE criticism????? I fully support this campaign. I was raped and sexually abused from being under 1 until I was 17, ny my father. This is not covered in this site. It should`nt be, as it is a whole different crime. ALL sex offenders CHOOSE to act upon their sexually deviant ways. RAPE is NEVER OK, it is ALWAYS wrong to commit an act of violence. Unfortunately, our country is full of rape apologists and those who find it easier to blame a child, incapacitated woman, a ring on a womans finger, a low cut top for a WEAK mans way of trying to prove his dominance with what is, in reality a small part of their anatomy (NOT the other way round).Linda, female

It is not strictly men who rape, or women who are raped... I have known people on both sides of many different situations... it happens to anyone... the only thing that all rapes have in common is that, regardless of their reactions, the victims did not want the sexual attention they were recieving...Cher(notthesinger), female

Thank you! To all of you that have made this campaign a reality, women and society so much need it.voula, female

Will this campaign help? Yes I think it will.. you'd be amazed at how many young men do not realize that "no means no" no matter what stage of sexual activity is occurring at the time... if you are involved in sexual intercourse and she says "stop" any continued sexual activity is assault... yes I think boys and young men can learn from this... for more information.. I invite you all to view the IAFN.org website... (International association of forensic nurses)Holly, female

http://www.stamfordadvocate.com/ci_13048639 I think this campaign is extremely important but it saddens me that people still don't take the messages on board (see above link). There's still a desperate attempt made to blame the victim in these cases. If it's not drink and dress, it's some other behaviour or situation the victim has "put herself in" and very little focus on the perpetrator. He may be stuck in prison for a few years but once that's over with the focus turns back onto the victim again.Jeunese , female

I think the myths and some people's arrogant views to rape is disgusting and bacause of this i blamed myself. This campaign is amazing. Thank you, just thankyouShelley, female

Love, love, love these ads! I wish we were ballsy enough to have a campaign like this in the Americas.Taylor from Canada, female

I've been told it was my fault. Thank you for telling everyone in the same conditions that it will never be their fault. I wish someone told me that instead of blaming me.Jay, female

I've got mixed feelings about this website - we have been studying government media campaigns in an MSc class and one of the key questions about effectiveness is: Who is the intended audience of the campaign, and are they being reached? It feels like the intended audience are a general public, and especially men, who have problematic attitudes about sex and relationships. But the comments are mainly from women. Will this website help change all our attitudes or is it preaching to the choir?Sarah Armstrong, female

Surely one of the biggest myths that needs dispelling is that 'only attractive girls get raped'? Your choice of models for the images, I'm afraid, only goes to compound this myth...AdamF, male

Can I just point out to some of the people commenting on here that keep compairing rape & sexual crimes regarding clothing - to being robbed (e.g."After all, if I walked down the street with money hanging off my clothes and my mobile sticking out my pocket, then I should take part responsibility for the fact that I'd be robbed") - money, mobiles etc are material things people! Your body and it's violation without your consent is not! Yes you'll be pissed off at your money or phone being stolen, but again, no one deserves that either and you'll quickly get over it. The physical and mental scars inflicte y rape and sexual assault NEVER leave! Do not use something so trivial as money or mobiles as a comparison to how a woman dresses as potential provoking a sexual assault.Lemur, female

This campaign is wonderful and, seeing those statistics, necessary. I tried guessing the answers on the 'Do you know' section and got them all wrong - I knew the situation was very bad but I don't even see HOW it can be this bad. I think this campaign is just so necessary for people to realise! I'm following this in support of my dear friend who was raped habitually when she was just 9 years old, by a family friend, and made to feel as if it was her fault. Injustices like that are just so awful and I am so grateful to everyone involved in this campaign for raising awarenessNessa, female

This is an *EXCELLENT* campagin, I'll be linking to it from all over the place.Kathleen, female

I think this campagin is great and I would say the girl who initiated this is amazing and I fully back this campagin I myself is a rape victim, and dressing a certain way drinking alcohol etc is not a part in the crime that is being commited as if a rape happens this way the person who commits the crime already has decided that they are going to rape someone its not a spur of the moment thing, and it also happens in families marriage and from people who you thought to be close friends (my case) and the comment about size is rediclous and I am disgusted by it. anyone who has blamed the victim makes me sick, we have to live with this for the rest if our lives yet the culprit who commits the offence gets away with it, they dont get what they deserve so I fully back this campagin and good luck!!Samantha, female

RespectLisa, female

This is so important, what is being done here. It frightens me to think of the number of people who will blame a victim for being raped, even if there are no verbal accusations - it seems so ridiculous and awful that these ideas are so prevalent in society, when it seems so black and white. Hopefully this campaign will show people that rape is always the fault of the rapist, end of story.Erin, female

This is a truly wonderful site! It's great that you highlight that there are no circumstances in which a victim is responsible for their rape, especially in light of today's depressing statistics gathered for the Havens which show that women are even more likely than men to blame the rape victim under certain circumstances. And I though society was becoming more progressive!Simon, male

Why do so many men on here take this campaign as a personal attack? We KNOW most men in our lives are honest decent people, it didn't cross my mind that some men may take this as an insult! These people are missing the point. It's not trying to tell men everywhere not to rape, most men wouldn't dream of it, obviously. It's aim is to change the public's attitude towards the victims - so that juries stop letting rapists off the hook based on evidence such as - 'She was drunk/his girlfriend/had revealing clothes on...' etc. Maybe the campaigners should address this issue... it would be a real shame for such a posative message to be lost/misinterpreted.Chloe, female

I think this campaign is great as it really challenges some of the misconceptions around what constitutes rape. The statistics from the survey are shocking and it worries me that so many people still place some element of blame on the victim of rape.Anon, female

I've felt so much guilt for so long because I was intoxicated. Thank you for helping me heal a little more.Ann, female

I am a law student, and flipping through cases stating principles that men can get away with the rape charge if he genuinely (albeit not reasonably, though reasonableness is to be taken into account to judge the honesty) believe the women consent and the like keeps me pondering how gender-biased our criminal law is. I believe, and know there are noble decent men out there who honour women, but the media portrayal of women is so distorted that it is timely for campaigns like this to ring the bell. I am hoping to see or play a part in starting similar advocacy in my country too.Carrie, female

Nice site, nice campaign....Joe, male

I can't believe how ignorant people are. It really breaks my heart sometimes, but this page is reassurance that there is no excuse for rape.Anna, female

Thank you, fantastic campaign. It is NOT our fault and never will be!dee, female

I think many of the men who have commented are missing the point of this website. It's not trying to brand all men as rapists or potential rapists, but to change the conceptions that the general public have towards rape. If you look carefully at the questions on the site, for example "In a 2005 poll for Amnesty what percentage of people said that a woman was partially or totally responsible for being raped if she was drunk?", you will notice that the question is not what percentage of MEN, but what percentage of PEOPLE. Many women have also been conditioned by the double standards of our society into believing that rape victims are partly responsible for the crimes committed against them.Lauren, female

I found this website because my mind has been messed up by porn. Two of the images on the homepage aroused me. I am father to two boys and I want them to have higher standards than me. I want to teach them to be different. Most men I know treat woman as objects.George, male

please help to sign this petition for the sake of myself, family and society. http://petition.co.uk/no-early-release-for-rapist-karl-robertsnicky, female

Fantastic! I'm glad you're putting this out there. I'd like to know how "people" in these surveys shakes out by gender. So glad you're putting this out there.John, male

I'm from the US and I wish we had a campaign as direct and honest as this one is. You've confirmed terrible truths about how people the world over view rape victims and I sincerely hope your campaign works wonders to change attitudes. Thank you for being vocal in this manner, for the people of Scotland and in a small way, the global community. I'm sharing this site with all my friends.Margot, female

I just wish it was a web like this in Spain. Good job.Sally, female

No one intentionally sends 'invitations for rape'. Do you honestly think ANYONE wants to be raped?H, female

You should really consider expanding this campaign to Ireland. There are many myths surrounding rape and even a lot of my male and female friends and family think of it as our responsibility to stay safe, and concentrate on what we can do to look after ourselves, rather than focusing on the perpetrators and educating young men on what is and what isn't ok within relationships and also outside of relationships. Male rape is also ignored people seem almost unaware that it CAN happen, and a man can not only be raped by another male but a female as well. The idea that you subconsciousl wanted it is a load of bull, but defintely one notion that people seem to have in their heads.Siobhán, female

I couldn't believe the statistics :O I knew they were bad but... this is in SCOTLAND... it is not in Undeveloped country! wow.... THUMBS UP!M.L., female

It's high time that we get our voices out! More power!Hope, female

Love it, way to raise consciousnessAlison from Canada, female

The problem with things like this is everyone, male and female, have their own ideas about what this message is trying to say....of course we all know rape is very,very wrong but some guys are overeacting (judging by the comments) and i also worry about a lot of women who are much more prone to neurotic behaviour who seem to be becoming more and more obsessed with the false idea that ALL men are potential sexual predators and that seeing as its happened to them or someone they know then its better and safer to treat all men as "baddies" (this would be be exactly what feminist extremists would want, mind you). So this whole thing may have its routes in extreme feminism or at least the websites creators may have these leanings, whatever the case i think its more the fault of declining standards and general unfairness in our modern society in general that debases a generation to the extent to where they think women "deserve" it just because they wear certain types of clothes or are in certain areas at night etc...this was much prevelant in the 50's and 60's etcjason, male

This site is awesome! I want one for every country, not just Scotland!Jenna, female

You're completely delusional if you believe that attire is a zero factor in sexual assault. Perhaps it is not as large a factor as the general public believes - many of which are men - but to completely absolve yourselves of any autonomy or responsibility is sheer arrogance. I would not walk through a council estate talking loudly on my shiny new iphone as I am fully aware that crime will always exist and I must take the necessary precautions to avoid drawing attention to myself in order to avoid being mugged, beaten, knifed or even murdered. To use the "rape is wrong, period" card is to invoke the statement "crime is wrong, period". The nature of the crime - any crime - does not change the fact that an individual can take the steps to minimise the risk towards themselves in the vast majority of given situations, and in rape this can include sticking with your friends, calling a pink cab, not going home alone and yes, perhaps plumping for the jeans instead of the hotpants. Let's take another example from the list of precautions I listed just now. Transport for London advises women to take only licensed cabs home after a night out, the logic (and figures) indicating that getting into an unlicensed cab is getting into a stranger's car and therefore more likely to lead to sexual assault. Are you going to start a campaign for your right to take unlicensed cabs? The entire campaign reeks of post-feminist rhetoric over common sense.Alex, male

I completely agree that this campaign is essential. However, as mentioned above, it would do well to remember than not just women get raped.ed, male

Good point. I hadn't thoghut about it quite that way. :)Johnetta, male

I'm in a completely different country but you have some really helpful stuff on this website, it's really great how interactive and easy to use it is. Also, big thanks for the gender options!Alana, transgender

Women create delusions of safety by blaming victims for rape. "That won't happen to me if/because I don't do what she did." We have to accept that rape is not a sexual crime before we understand the motivations are not sexual. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!Anonymous, female

When I was raped several years ago, I was wearing old ragged jeans, boots, and a buttoned up shirt over another shirt. He was a friend, I trusted him. I screamed, I fought, I tried everything I could to get him off me. I pleaded, "Please, You're hurting me! Stop it!" over and over. He just kept saying, "I'm not gonna stop, b____!" The thing that sticks in my head the most is the blood. The blood, everywhere. I thought I was going to die. He beat me up so bad, I needed medical attention. He went around high-fiving his friends afterward, telling them how I "liked it" and it was "so good" and that I was a "freak" and a "slut". I still have the physical scars from what he did to me.Bonnie, female

Fantastic campaign. The only problem I can find in it is that rape can occur in same sex relationships (both gay & lesbian) as well, and that is an issue that needs to be addressed too. But since the majority of the population is straight, and that most rapes are by men against women, this is a good starting point.Marta, female

Im 100% for this campaigne!!Amy DONT LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN, female

I am a victim of repeated pre-pubescent incestual rape. This campaign gives me just a bit of hope that this despicable/violating/degrading act is finally being condemned for what it is, and that 'justice'- whatever that may be- will granted to all fellow victims. The more voices cry out against it the more likely we are to be heard! NamasteAnon, female

Kudos! Excellent campaign. As a victim of prepubescent incestual rape, this campaign gives me just the smallest hope that this despicable/violating/degrading act will finally be put to an end and that justice- whatever that may be- will be granted to all fellow victims. The more voices cry out against it the more likely we are to be heard!Eleanor, female

This is great. i was told it was my fault because not only was i drunk, i was wearing revealing clothing! I punished myself for that everyday until i met someone from rape crisis scotland that helped me to understand it infact was not my fault! thank you to that amazing advisor that helped me find my strength again.Rachel, female

Outstanding campaign! We men need to support you, challenge rape jokes and rape culture. Stopping rape is not just a "women's issue" - men need to speak out and support women's leadership to end rape.Ben Atherton-Zeman, male

This website is fantastic. Absolutely nothing is an invitation to commit such a horrific crime. It's up to the men of the word to stand up and show their support to sites like these. Keep up the good work! It's nice to be reminded there is still some humanity out there.Simon, male

I was raped some weeks ago while at a get together at a friend's house. I reported it to the police. When my "friend" found out she called me a slut and told me that I led him on because I was made out with him that night. I cannot say how much I appreciate this campaign and those like it.Daisy, female

Just came across this website. THANK YOU.Natalie, female

Thanks.Kelly, female

I am a sexual health educator in Australia. I have been following the "Slutwalk" movement and hence I love the concept of this campaign. This isn't about stopping rape, it's about challenging societies attitudes to victim blaming. I understand that 1 ad campaign can't address or solve all the problems that society has relating to sex, sexual assault or gender issues and I therefore see this campaign as something extremely useful, in your face and challenging AND I will be adding to my list of great campaigns to use in my work as an educator. I've seen some great stuff in America and Africa too that are very strength based. Keep up the great work. All of the dialogue happening on here is proof that the campaign is working- even if minds are not being changed, dialogue is starting and that is the very least we can hope for when we work in such a value laden sector. PS: thanks for taking the risk and being so creative. We have a long way to go in the land down under!Amanda, female

This is exactly what needs to happen. Thank you.Michelle, female

The ad campaign misses the entire point and will only prove to divide men and women. In fact, who is it aimed at? It's pretty much implying that all men are potential rapists and that is just as offensive as telling me how to dress, you know, because "all men are rapists" and can't be trusted. And that's pretty much saying they have no control over their sexual urges and putting the duty of maintaining morality back on women. How insulting. But I digress, I'm annoyed by this because it's detracting from a serious issue. And why make it humorous? It's just sitting there waiting to be satirised. According to the stats, I'm more likely to be raped by someone I know so I'm probably at less risk in a mini-skirt and drunk in an alley. Why not combat rape within relationships?Sam, female

I think the campaign is great -- It would be great to see the day when violent crime, is no longer! I believe that in the mean time we should take simple precautions to protect ourselves from becoming victims. This campaign is only one tool in raising awareness, we should be more proactive towards our own safety. You wouldnt walk alone in a rough neighbourhood with money and jewels clearly on display at night...or leave your valuables on a car seat in plain view and then leave your car unattended....The point about ---date rape - marital rape ---are all v.good!how many women stay in abusive relationships?? No means no! be smart!Gimmemoremoney, female

I am wondering how many of the people polled about a woman's 'blame' if she is drunk, showing a bit of leg or flirted were women, and what was the age range?? If females also made these grossly dangerous judgements then the situation is even worse than the results indicate. Giving reason for ALL the public to be educated in a big way...Annie, female

This is a great way of explaining that it can't be woman's fault. I wish this campaign grows and help us to feel safer on the streets.Abbie, female

I think the 10 tips to stop rape poster is a great tool to get people to talk about and discuss sexual violence. Love the irony.Bicepcurls, female

This is a wonderful campaign,it can change lives/give relief from the guilt and blame that surrounds rape. I was raped at 14 and my mind was filled with self blame:"It was my fault i shouldnt of broken my curfew" "I should of screamed no!" etc... I fully support your campaign,im 30 now and a SURVIVOR :-)Nicole, female

I am extremely happy to see that this topic is being brought up in Scotland. I hope it is discussed in Portugal soon as well. Mine is a very maxist country where unfortunately progress on the matter has been quite slow. Recent judicial sentences have shown some stepping back on a relatively good progress. Congratulations for your campaign! I hope it leads to very good outcomes!Ana (from Portugal), female

thank you so much for setting up this website!!! it gets really hard to fight this fight one on one, and explain over and over that no, the length of my skirt/the amount i've had to drink/whether i've flirted with you before doesn't mean you can rape me. its really comforting to know other people are campaigning against rape apologism and rape culture!!!!!mim, female

I wish this campaign would cross over to the US; this is such a worthy, informative site that I want to spread the link around to everyone I know.Autumn, female

Excellent campaign - makes a refreshing change from others that make clear the idea that women are somehow responsible for their getting raped.Helen-Rose, female

I was calmed and happy to find this great and informative site after browsing the web in general to see what kind of campaign sites were available in relation to rape in modern society, like many people that have commented below, i am disillusioned at the soft the sentences given out out to these people who discgrace our race and show no remorse or understanding, i hope this campaign will bring the awarness you hope to offer, whilst offering people in need something good, i am a young male and have never posted an online public msg of any sort but revent news headlines make me think to be sickened or to try to understand is not the answer, im happy that work is being done like this and wish you all the best.David, male

This is one of the best campaigns of its kind I've ever seen. I wish we had one like it in the U.S.GW, female

Ths is a great campaign and the website is very nice. Keep up the good work :)René Brungs, male

This website is amazing. I have never been a victim of rape myself and I am very lucky. I feel so much pain for the people who have been raped and I think what this organisation is doing is wonderful! Keep up this great job of spreading awareness.Lili, female

I fully support the campaign and all of the great work everyone is doing. Keep it up!Anjeli Shah, female

I think that everyone (especially males) should read this. http://oforganon.tumblr.com/post/11150747104/to-all-those-men-who-dont-think-the-rape-jokes-are-a I saw a lot of comments accusing this campaign of sending the message that "all men are rapists" or that it is hopelessly trying to change the mentality of "sick," "twisted," or whatever, "real" rapists. Unless what is commonly thought to be the case, males (for example) do not need to be mentally ill to be rapists. In fact, being a rapist is not a mental illness, but a product of our culture, often designated as a "rape culture". Rape jokes and other such things participate in the tolerance of rape in our society, and people (men and women alike) who are not rapists and who make such jokes participate in the rape culture (i.e. they encourage rapists in what they do). Denying their participation in this and setting rapists as monsters outside our culture and society is just another way of denying the problem of rape and the social interactions underlying it. Be mindful of what you say and do, not everyone understand it like you do.Carl Dion Laplante, male

I think that this campaign is really great but I have one concern. In order to truly and completely change things one must examine what is causing them to be the way they are. Yes society treats women like pets or children but why? This is not a natural thing. Why does society have this image of the female, these gender norms? What are the motives behind dividing the population along gender lines and making one gender have power over the other? Until we address these questions we can never truly address and fix their symptoms.Alice, female

i also believe that you should have included the case of prostitutes being raped. just because they get payed for having sex, doesn't mean that anyone can expect to have sex with them at any moment or with any means.kat, female

When I used to work in the police, we were often told that we were not allowed to advice people that dressing provocatively may increase the risk of sexual assault. I often wonder how many less assaults there would be if I was able to at least advice people on how to limit their risk by not dressing as provocatively (this goes for both women and men). Now, I would like to make it clear that I think that any suggestion that someone is inviting sexual assault based on the way they dress is disgusting, but some people will believe that. As such, I feel it would be wise to at least make vulnerable people aware of the risks, and I feel this campaign is not helping in that sense. It is not as though people are on the fence with issues like this, so I can't help but feel that protest is not the way to solve this serious issue, and that addressing the holes in the law regarding sexual assault would be more effective. No one should ever have to feel in the wrong for being a victim of any crime.Anonymous, male

Your "stop rape" campaign poster making the rounds on the internet is blatant misandry. Portraying men as slaves to some kind of insatiable desire to rape helps no one, and is a complete and utter fiction. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.Tom, male

I believe that relations between men versus women should be rethought in the context of ensuring women's rights to sexual freedom, habits, clothing and customs. We can not accept the rape as "inevitable" but as a matter of public safety, or better education, principles.Jorge Bazaga Jr, male

Amazing site - ignore the trolls on here - the trolls are the reason why we need the campaign. a woman should be able to feel confident in her sexuality without fear of rape. If guys can walk down the street with their tops off and not be assaulted, why should women have to watch their actions constantly for fear of attack? I hope the men that have made negative comments never have to go through that trauma or witness a female family member go through that? or maybe they'd think it was the family member's fault...?heather, female

Women certainly continue to suffer from a number of structural obstacles that represent a real challenge to gender equity in our modern day. But above all, women, like men, are victims of norms and social conditioning. This is especially nuanced in the area of rape and sexual violence. This is an excellent campaign which tries to undermine that. On a slightly different note, I wonder how many people would agree that because they left their bedroom window open/were too drunk that they forgot to shut their window that they have a right to be burgled? I don't think many would.Sophie , female

isn't it interesting that people who are opposed to this campaing gender is usually male...hannah, female

I'm glad this site is out there now. I'm sending it to my boyfriend. He's a great man & is always respectful to women, however when the subject of rape or sexual assault comes up, he believes all these crazy myths on this site. After investigating, I found it was his older brothers & male cousins that drilled this into his head when he was younger. I'm still trying to undo the damage they've done. Even though he would never hurt a woman, his line of thinking hurts us all & he still doesn't see it. These are wrong cultural beliefs that will only change when they're passed down through generations. Thanks for helping out!Laura Lee, female

This website is great, well done. It highlights why advertising campaigns like the one being criticised in the facebook link below are horrendous. Thank you. https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/298498736879283/Elaine, female

It's strange that some of the men posting on here are trying to play down the value of this campaign by saying that we're ignoring male rape, or lesbian rape. No-one is obliged to justify fighting their own battle by fighting someone else's battle too. If these men cared as much about the rape of other men as they claim, they'd get involved in a relevant campaign, or start their own. Any campaign of this nature is weakened if it loses its focus. This one is not simply 'against rapists'. It aims to change the attitude of society in general. Tacit (or overt) approval amongst people in general is partly what contributes to the number of incidents of rape in any society, not least because it's the members of that society who are judges, jurors & barristers. Lastly, I love my husband & know he'd never hurt me in this way, but that doesn't mean I think the issue of rape is irrelevant to me. I wish this campaign every success.Beth, female

I still Don't get it.......... how can you actually rape.......... There is a women lying beneath crying......AND MEN ACTUALLY ENJOY IT......................SICK!!!! .........IF YOU KNOW THE GIRL OR YOU LOVE HER..........HOW CAN YOU BREAK HER MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY......MEN DON'T DO IT.........MALES WHO COME FROM BARBARIAN AGES MAY DO ITKS, male

Many of the comments left here by men disgust me. I think this is a good campaign and I hope that for every feeble rationalization of privilege that gets posted here at least one guy understands.Rusty, male

If in every other crime created the victim is never questioned on provocation , why rape... lifestyles, drinking, dating, dressing cannot be questioned The only person who should be accused is the rapist. Every single person deserves to be treated with dignity.. and a rape victim deservs everyones empathy. As a girl i refuse to live my life by conpromising my lifestyle because people cannot contol their libodo!1 Instead of preaching about girls taking precautions .. teach morality and humanity to the men!Pooja Parthasarathy, female

I don't think anyone's ever put it better than Reclaim the Night: Whatever we wear, wherever we go, yes means yes and no means no!Paul Milnes, male

A coworker came across this campaign, I put it on my Facebook in Montana, USA and it is spreading quickly. Love the edgy message, the photos, and the catchy captions. Well done, and thank you for sharing.Katie , female

This is an incredibly important campaign and I am so relieved to see the issue of rape and sexual assault making its way into the forefront of the societal and cultural debate in Britain. Well done to all those that are involved. :-)Hannah, female

Andrew, Stephen and Danny you disgust me! its men like you that campaigns like this are put in place. I myself have been a victim of rape and can tell you now i knew the guy, i wasnt drinking and i wasnt wearing anything revealing. It has nothing to do with any of that, its all about whats in YOUR SICK MINDS that makes you think like that! no means no. bare that in mind.Charlotte, female

'This is a load of crap, that picture where the woman has undone the guys belt, what does she expect to happen in that situation. She deserves rape if thats how she acts. Big John Dyke, male' look up the definition of rape, she doesnt deserve it nor did she ask for it.Charlotte, female

Fantastic website, very informative. I wish we had more of this material in the United States. Still, I've downloaded your print posters and will be bring them to the next campus feminist meeting.Filip, male

I think it is absolutely disgusting that upon receiving documents from your organisation that the entire campaign is focused upon women being raped, with absolutely no mention of the men or transgender people affected by this issue. This is precisely the reason that rape among these groups is trivialised and if anything you are making the problem much harder. You deserve to be shut down.Jamie Jones, male

I would like to firstly commend you on you attempts to educate people on this matter. It is, beyond a doubt, true that women are the victims of sexual assault not because they "ask for it," but rather because rapists wish to exert some form of dominance over them. That being said, I must point out that this campaign/ website must be changed in order to also account for male rape. This is an often overlooked issue which statistically happens far more often than expect (and that is without account for the men who feel too ashamed to report anything). It is wrong to portray men as confused individuals who have an insatiable sexual desire and who will rape a woman (or man) as a function of "receiving mixed signals". Furthermore, the campaign must also take into account those rapes which are committed by women (be they directed at men or other women), as the current version of it at least seems to be implying that women are the only victims and men are the only ones to blame. I'm not saying that the victims are to blame in a case of sexual assault - that is never the case. However, I am saying that the campaign portrays women as the only victims and men (not all men, but still only men) as the culprits. I therefore urge this campaign to broaden its scope, therefore both helping many more people to cope and also educating others on the truth behind rape (not only of women, but of men too).Anon, male

Saying a woman did something that increased the chances of rape isn't at all the same as saying she deserved it. We say women shouldn't walk down dark alleys alone to avoid rape, why is it so wrong to say that women should cover up during or after their night out to avoid rape?J, male

You comment that even though women are the complainants in rape cases, they are the ones interrogated on the trial. I understand your point, but your wording is rather wrong-headed - the person accused is presumed innocent, and as difficult as it may be, the assumption is that the accuser is wrong or dishonest until proven otherwise.Bob Dole, male

I think this campaign is amazing and I fully support it. People's attitudes are appalling towards the victims of rape and more needs to be done to challenge the stereotypes and raise the conviction rates. Fully supportive of this campaign!Rachel, female

If I wear an expensive suit and walk down a dangerous neighborhood, I am likely to be mugged. It is not victim blaming, it is common sense. And rapists are a breed of their own, trying to teach them anything is pointless. You may as well be trying to teach a dog to be a vegetarian.Dave, male

Is it an invitation to rape, to wear revealing clothes and be extremely drunk ? No. Does it increase the chance of rape and is it the choice of the female ? Probably yes.wat, male

In a world where girls are taught how to not get raped and men aren't taught how to not rape, this kind of iniciatives lack everywhere. Thanks for giving a fuck on such a great issue of society.Javier, male

This website is composed of numerous straw men which do not represent society's generally held views accurately. You're chasing shadows on the wall and creating unfounded and exaggerated impressions.Jamie Palmer, male

I wish every success for this campaign. Too many people need to wake up and see the world women are forced to live in. As a man, i am ashamed by the opinions of many other men posting here. It is disgusting, and only reinforces how necessary this campaign is. Thank you for raising awareness, and good luck. You deserve it.Ignacio, male

I am the youngest of 3 girls, raised by a single mother and grandmother until she passed about 15 years ago. one of my older sisters went to school alone one day because us other two were sick. at the end of the day, she took the bus home. just a few yards from the bus stop, just down the street and visible from our house, she got too close to a car parked on the side of the road and was kidnapped and raped. I don't know for how long. I only know the general details of it. She was eight years old. she is almost twenty years older now, and still suffers from her resulting condition, post traumatic stress disorder. The piece of shit was never caught. If this man is ever revealed to me, I will assault him violently and I won't stop until he dies. According to my beliefs rape is unforgivable. Rapists deserve death and nothing else. Coincidentally, my alcoholic father raped my mother when she was pregnant with said sister. I am tentatively rebuilding a relationship with him after 12 years of nothing, and I can't get this fact out of my head. I am so ashamed that i am the daughter of a rapist. But the little girl inside of me wants so badly to be able to say she has a daddy. It's an impossible situation. In general, he's not a bad guy. He has an asshole's sense of humor but he's nice to people, and he's funny. And he's also a rapist.Kay, female

It's incredible (and embarrasing) that so many people can really believe that is possible to justify a rape in certain cases. I'm sorry but there is never a valid excuse.Anonymous, female

It's incredible (and embarrasing) that so many people can really believe that is possible to justify a rape in certain cases. I'm sorry but there is never a valid excuse.Isa, female

I have seen a lot of people here commenting about how rapists are "sick". Certainly, some small percentage of rapists are motivated by mental illness. But rapists are, in general, a fairly representative cross-section of men. While most men don't rape (and not ALL rapists are men), the vast majority of rapists are REGULAR DUDES who believe the kind of myths this campaign is trying to dispel - right now, many rapists don't think they've raped anyone because they believe these myths.Maia, female

Rape culture needs to be ended and society needs to start telling people that women are not just little walking dolls for men to hurt or violate us. feeling safe and happy is a human right and society and media are stealing that from us everyday by creating these myths about women who are "asking for it." im glad someone is making a fuss about it and made a campaign to educate people about the disgusting disaster known as "rape culture."Danielle Claws, female

its not our faultkelly, female

never okkelly, female

never okkelly, female

i was raped when i was 14/ just turned 15. i was a virgin. i stayed over night at my friends boyfriends house because she promised we could sleep together. but as the night went on she said kelly can you just share a room with him... young and nieve i said yes and that was when the guy didi it up my bum. i did say no. i felf like it ws my fault for a long time. its not i sid no but he did it anyway.kelly, female

Hi, i think it's kinda sexist of you on this website to portray men as perpetrators and women as victims. You're using widening the gap between men and women by making them afraid of each other.Erica, female

I really appreciate your campaign! I used to live for some time in the UK and have to tell you that situation around public slut-shaming women for being raped is kinda same in Poland, where I live. I am the owner of website focused on female sexuality and already published post about your action. It is only in Polish, but I also added link to your homepage and hopefully there will be more and more supporters in my home country. Thank you! http://www.proseksualna.pl/?p=95Nat, female

I am all in for this campaign and I think it's amazing. I am from Peru and things are by far worse for women than in the UK. Please tell me how to start a campaign like this. My biggest fear is that when women 'step out of their place' such as fighting old myths and sexism, men think that the best way of 'correcting' such behaviour is through rape. Here two stories: a couple years ago, there was an event called "Kisses against homophobia" and the police were called to stop LGBT couples from kissing. They attacked them and what they did to lesbians was to touch their breasts and genitalia so 'they can learn to be women.' Second, I was walking on the street and a man started yelling nasty things at me. I responded by saying "shut up a**hole" and he said "what did you say? I'll rape you so you know you place", his exact words. Nothing happened and I reported it to the police. But events like these make me afraid of starting a campaign a being a target for such people so I want to know how to do it and be safe. Thank you for reading and for the help you could provide.Grecia, female

What a fantastic campaign. Thank you!Renee, female

Hi, I am writing from the United States, and was very inspired by your campaign. Over 97% of rapists in the U.S. never spend a day in jail, and this will continue to occur if the myths that surround rape continue to be perpetuated. Showing men that it is their responsibility to say no, is so powerful, and helps take the victimization off women.Tess Bonn, female

Great campaign challenging misconceptions regarding rape! Well done :)Mary, female

Thank you. Thank you so much.Taylor Malone, female

I just tried the quiz to see how much I know and I'm totally shocked. My faith in humanity has taken a bit of a knock, having discovered the stats that reveal how much blame is still placed on the victims of rape. I think more should be done to educate people from a young age about the facts; that no means no and that just because a girl wears revealing clothing or has gotten intimate with someone in the past, it's not an unequivocal sex invite.Laura, female

I live in a country where speaking about sex is almost taboo, and this is a reaction to the malice and dirt that is associated with sexual acts and sexuality. Victim-blaming attitude, I believe, also roots from this. It is time for people to know the truth: regardless of how people act, or dress, a no to sex means no. Sex without consent is rape. Regardless of whatever "signals" the victim is supposedly giving.Janina Santos, female

This is a fantastic campaign and one which I hope is being used as an educational tool in schools and universities so both women and men learn young that nothing is an invitation to rape. People are raped because a rapist rapes them - that's the only reason for rape. I'd like to add to the no means no message that, just because a woman says "no" doesn't mean she's saying "yes". The absence of "no" is not enough - there should be enthusiastic consent.Kate Gould, female

Good on you, Rape Crisis, for getting the word out that there is no excuse for raping a woman. I read some of the men's comments here. They seem to think that men don't need to be told that women don't invite rapists. However, your posters depict some common excuses that are used to dismiss men's behavior and/or to blame women for getting raped. How many men do believe that a spouse cannot be charged with raping their spouse??Marion, female

Im an advertising student from south africa, and we have been given the opportunity to create an anti rape campaign here. We wanted to know if your have anything specific to focus on, or anything you want to say?Brittany, female

I think this is a good campaign. But theres something I dont understand, why do woman protect their husbands or boyfriends so often, when they raped them or something else?Matze, male

Thank you for these actions. As a victim of a rape I know how it is to hear all the time your male friends (I'm in a masculine environment) joking about this all the time whithout being able to tell them to stop it. I wish they were able to understand a little what this means... I know I'm partly responsible for not telling them but I don't want it to be discovered...Sonia, female

Well, I'm American but I found this through Facebook. And I kind of just need to vent... I was raped in February by someone I used to be friends with. Obviously, we're not friends anymore. I went through hell trying to get over what happened and it's still really hard now that I'm back at school again. What bothers me the most is how oblivious most of the world is to rape in general. And how much they think they can talk about it, when they obviously are uninformed, make judgements about dress, virginity, or previous relations with the rapist. I'm sick of it. The worst for me is when people joke about rape. Seriously? Because rape sure isn't a fucking joke to me. My roommate's friend picked me up that night in February, but last night we were out at the bars (I don't drink anymore) and my roommate left go get a drink. She told her boyfriend to sit with me and jokingly said "why, so she doesn't get raped?" I am so fucking pissed. People just throw the word around like it has no meaning. They don't know any statistics or what people who have actually been there go through getting over things like that. I went through so many psychological issues- trust, self esteem, I drank too much, sleeping problems, eating troubles, and I had flashbacks for months all the time. It was like I was reliving it every single day. So, I wrote a paper about rape and did a presentation in a class. And now I'm trying to find organizations to join to at the very least inform people that this is real and much more common than they think. You don't have to post this, but thank you for starting this campaign. It really means a lot. Megan, female

This site may just begin to educate men. We all need to respect ourselves and each other.Elliott, male

I love this campaign - the reason that so many rapes are committed and there is so much controversy surrounding them is because nobody is fully educated on what rape really is. I also think it's equally sad and horrifying that the men commenting on this site are all condescending and seemingly pro-rape. It's easy not to care about a fellow human being when you've never been de-humanized as some of us have.Corina, female

This is brilliant, so long overdue, and so depressingly necessary given how many men and women still seem to believe that being drunk or just having kissed a person already means that it isn't real rape. Strangers in dark alleys account for such a tiny percentage of rape statistics that there clearly does need to be more discussion and education, but ultimately consent is a pretty straighforward issue. If someone isn't conscious enough to consent, or doesn't want to, then it is rape, and the person to blame is the person doing the raping.Jane, female

I'm in the process of trying to put together a group in little Sheridan, Wyoming. A group with a focus on men and just generally getting information out there on topics that men in general don't think about in their daily lives in regards to women and how hard daily life and general routine can be nowadays due to issues like 'catcalling'. Which sadly a lot of guys see no problem with, but things like this are disgusting and ARE a big deal and need to change. By just informing men on these kinds of issues maybe, just maybe I can be that little change. Anyhow I was just hoping maybe I could get some ideas on resources and such that I could use in this fight. Any help would be great!Matthew Hall, male

This is stupid. What does a girl expect to happen when she does not protect her self. Girls, don't dress like a slut, don't drink till you black out and if you don't want to be touched scream, bite claw do something! Think about it. I am not saying rape is OK, but if you take a moment to think about the situations you are putting yourself in your chances of getting raped would be greatly reduced. If you leave your car unlocked and your cd player gets stolen do you blame a thief or yourself for not locking your car?Jenn, female

I love this campaign. In Central America there is a sexual harassment on the streets always justified as women we dress is very dificl deal with it. It would be great to have this campaign in Spanish. Greetings from Nicaragua.Carla Caceres, female

There is never a reason to rape and we need to make this clear! But most of all, we need to raise boys who know rape is never right. We have to fix our men, then we will won't have work so hard to shield our women.Elizabeth Clark, female

Don't rape. Simple.Amy , female

It's astonishing the length men can go to to cover up their own horrendous faults. To take advantage of their physical superiority is not only an inhumane act but also leads to a complete loss of their personal integrity (if that ever existed) It is astonishing how shameless men can be, and I hope that somehow this cruel act of rape will come to an end one day.naisha, female

Lais, female

It's never ok.Kirsty Penn, female

I'm from Mexico and this campaign should definitely spread across other countries. Keep up the excellent work!Rosie, female

This is a good campaign. Though, perhaps you could do something to show that men also get raped (by women and by other men) and that despite being less common, is still just as bad and that me should feel safe coming forward about it.Mr Reuben Adams, male

Good campaign. There is absolutely no excuse nor justification for rape. Ever.Mick, male

Are some of you actually serious with your comments? Of course a woman can change her mind even if she is halfway through sex. She may feel uncomfortable, begin to regret what shes doing, anything could happen. She has the right to say actually I don't want to carry on with this and he should accept that decision. It would work the same if the man changed his mind, are women expected to carry on if he says no? Because we don't want to be frustrated or toyed with. I would like to think two people in consenting intimate relationships would respect each other enough to stop no matter how far the intimacy has gone. Some of you describe men like animals "you cant expect a man to stop after you have led him on" "imagine the frustration" behave!! What does one let down do to him, nothing!! No one has to carry on with anything they don't want to., man or woman! Wake up to 2012 people, we are not the same society were women please men because it is their duty, as Beyonce says we are independent women!!!Rachel, female

I LOVE this site. Thank you for providing intelligent commentary on this very important issue, and for debunking myths surrounding rape culture. More people need to be made aware of these dangerous myths!Emma, female

Absolutely fabulous campaign. I have a website OurStoriesUntold.com that documents stories of sexualized violence in religious communities, particularly Mennonite. I'll definitely link this blog to my site. Thanks for creating this!Rachel, female

I think this campaign's general purpose is excellent, and I am happy to see awareness being raised among both genders. However, I believe that every human should take responsibilities for their actions. In which case, Intoxication, drugs and any other substance that would put you in a vulnerable position should not be used in a setting where you could invite potential attackers. If I am sleeping on the job and someone comes and steals my drawer, I obviously have put myself in a vulnerable position. I would like to see other campaigns that would promote smarter alcohol consumption, eliminate drug usage, and promote self and body respect among both genders. I don't want to see either men or women revealing their bodies. Please respect my opinion, I would always be anti-rape, and I would always go out of my way to protect and support women's rights. Unfortunately, If I have to choose between supporting two women, one which was raped while intoxicated by choice and one that wasn't, I would be forced to sympathies more with the latter. Moderation and consideration and self respect should be taken seriously by both genders.Nazek Osman, male

This is an absolutely brilliant website. In a society, where women are effectively told "rapists exist, it's up to you to protect yourself", it's refreshing to see attempts being made to change the male mindset. Congratulations! Wish there were more charities like yours. Keep up the excellent work.Priya, female

Way to get the word around! I am excited to follow you folks.Kim, female

Am i missing something or is near enough everything here about females being rape victims. Are men still partially blamed in thr same circumstance if they are the ones bejng assaulted or raped?Inquisitive, female

The depictions of women on the site are superb. Women should be allowed to drink, dress, walk home at night without the threat of rape.Sophia, female

Congratulations Scotland for an awesome campaign. Wish there was something like this in Australia! Keep it up, I'll be supporting the push over here for something similar.Tara Jay, female

hey there, just wanted to say that i think this campaign and website is amazing :) Also i have just started an anti-rape campaign on Facebook, would be great if you could support this and spread the word, the more people the better :) http://www.facebook.com/events/478131948912574/Lucy, female

I think this is a great website, but the "reasons for rape" listed here are not the only ones. I live in South Africa where someone is raped every four minutes. Women, girls, even babies are raped by the minute, even in their own homes or walking home from school or work for example.Emma, female

Wow this site is amazing. I wish there was an organized effort like this in the US. "This is not an invitation to rape me" is the strongest and most to the point rape awareness sentence ever uttered.Olivia, female

This website has been a god send! i am doing my dissertation on marital rape and this website has been brilliant with providing me with an insight of what some women have to go through as well as the legal perspective..... once again Thank youR Gibbs, female

this is NEVER ok! the law needs to tighten up!R, female

I agree with the message but this campaign is sexist. This applies to female perpetrators and male victims of rape too, even if they are less common.George, male

For those of you saying that these issues only apply to women, I disagree. If a man went to a gay bar wearing revealing clothes many would probably blame him if he got raped. And the intimacy, drinking and relationships issues apply to men just as much as women.George, male

Well done on an excellent website, and an outstanding service. My issue is not only with prevalent attitudes about rape (which are excellently outlined here on this website) but the attitude of police. Police officers are not held to account for mistakes made during rape investigations. In any other job this would not be the case, particularly in jobs that involve vulnerable people. When I complained to my local MP about the way my rape case was dealt with (not the outcome, but the procedure) it was admitted that the police investigator had made mistakes, was junior and needed further training. However, that police investigator was not given a warning or disciplined. How are we to expect changes when the police are fully aware they can make mistakes in rape cases and will not be held responsible?ruth, female

One of the most intelligent and sensitive campaigns I have come across with regards to debunking the appalling societal myths around rape and sexual assault. I'm using a lot of the statistics provided for a report, and I will be sure to credit. Keep up the good work.Elena, female

"if you go on holiday, leave your windows open and get burgled- yes, you are the victim of crime, but you also presented an opportunity for the crime to occur." What you are effectively saying here, Alex, is that a woman's body-- the body of a human being-- is essentially an object. You are comparing women to property. Take a moment to think about that. That is exactly the point of this campaign.Sophie, female

No means no! It doesn't matter what a women is wearing or how she behaves beforehand. Rape is about power; and the ascertion of it other another. Man on man, and girl on man rape also happens, and the men in question do not 'dress provatively'. Victim blaming is wrong; it lessens the severity of the offence and stops victims coming forward. This campaign is excellent - as a survivor of rape myself - I wish I found this when I was acutely traumatised by my experience. )Charlotte Ball, female

Just noticed, those who say that 'she was asking for it' are mainly men. Yes women have raped but its mainly men (as shown in surveys). No one deserves to be raped because of how they dress or if they've been a little tipsy. Those who do rape are vile scum and should not hide behind 'oh her dress made me think she wanted it'!!Amelia, female

For the men who argue that this campaign is sexist by not addressing all forms of rape and for the men who believe that women should be in charge of their own security: What do men do on a daily basis to ensure that they do not get raped? Is there a can of mace on your keychain? Do you hold your keys a certain way when you walk out to your car at night? Do you worry about being overpowered when walking at night? Do you make eye contact with strangers to make yourself seem more human so they will pity you enough to leave you alone? Do you even give it ONE SINGLE THOUGHT? Do you wear longer pants when you go out to a party so nobody will think to rape you? Do you always wear your shirt for the expressed reason of "I don't want someone to think I'm slutty and rape me"? Do you cover your drink with your hand and never leave it out of your sight because someone might put something in it? Give me a break. GIVE. ME. A. BREAK. Men need to start being aware of the fact that there are HUGE gender issues that they are avoiding by talking about how this campaign doesn't address gender equality. It's because this issue isn't equal. It's heavily female. That's the POINT. Men don't have to think about "what if I get raped" so women shouldn't have to either. And that's up to men to change because other than what they already do, women are powerless. Because rape is about power. And the power is obviously against them.Alex, female

Great campaign! I do my best to promote it. Thank you and good luck!!Angeles Crespo, female

It's great to see that there are people who act, who try not to let those myths go any longer. I'm Belgian, don't speak English so well, but I just wanted to say: Thank you. For all the people, especially women but not only, who have to suffer that, or even to fear that, all around the world. For all the girls like me, having to fight against those sexist guys who say that these comments or remarks are "just humor", but we all know they're convinced of what they say. For all the people that will maybe escape to that thanks to sites like this one. Thank you. I just wish more people would see this...Magali, female

wow, thanks for your work. I can't believe all the shit is happening everyday. I'm with every woman, who made such an horrible experience. I fight for you. You are not alone!paula, female

This campaign.Sarah, female

Thank you so much for that campaign! It really helps - not only to educate people, but also fight the shame and guilt that many survivors feel.Melanie, female

I've been on a jury and seen first hand how virtually impossible it seems to be to get 12 to agree beyond reasonable doubt (usually it's word against word, little in the way of physical evidence, sometimes delays in reporting) and get justice for the victims of these offences. Does anyone know of any campaign to get the balance of proof changed from the seemingly impossible level currently? I understand that trials and the justice system must be fair to all but I am frankly horrified at how many people I now realize must be getting away with rape. I'd gladly support any campaign to give real justice for more victims and more retribution where it is pretty obviously required. I don't want to discourage anyone from coming forward though as it's just as important that anyone attacked in this way does report it.Clayton, male

I love what you are doing gor women. Your campange is honest and straight forward. And I thonk mote countries should follow you lrad to protect women and their rights. Thank youJen, female

I think this is a brilliant campaign and should be National if not Global - as a young woman I am very conscious of putting myself at risk and I have always believed that dressing provocatively and drinking alcohol puts me more at risk of rape, but it shouldn't. Thank you for clarifying my own understanding and motivating me to get this message out in my community.Beth Main, female

Just because I came over to watch a movie with you and dozed off does not mean I wanted to have sex with you - WHILE your live-in girlfriend, my friend, was at her grandmother's funeral!Beth, female

Women never deserved to be raped nor do men yet both need to take better precautions to protect them selves. Just like why do you go into harlem at 2 am do you deserve to be shot, killed, robbed, assaulted, no but the risk is very high it will happen.Brent Willis, male

Sorry for the following harsh language. I applaud this initiative. Sadly there are a lot of degenerate fucks out there that only think with one of their two brain cells and think that any excuse is good enough, whether the woman wants it or not. A no is a no. It's not a play with words. I wonder if any man out there would think it is ok to get raped just because they got fucking stinking drunk and passed out somewhere. "Oh, HE had his *** showing and HE was drunk - I am sure that was an invitation to rape him." Personally I think that rapists should be put in shackles and whipped in public, and the whole thing televised - that might change a few idiots minds so they thought one more time before going ahead and FUCKING UP SOMEONE's life - since getting raped will not go away, it will stay in your mind, affecting you for the rest of your life. An alternative would be having a warning label tattooed in your face. RAPIST - BEWARE. And normal non-raping guys have to pay the price of that idiots think that porn is a representation of real life wishes and values of women. I get so fucking tired of all the idiots in this world... even here on the comments I see how stupid some guys are, so I went from not going to leave a comment to leaving one.Paul Kurenkunnas, male

I think this campaign is utterly necessary. The examples given are illustrative of certain cultural values that we should all pay attention to. I saw pictures on the media of the San Fermines in Pamplona where women were being abused (in my opinion) in an apparent festive enviroment. This left me troubled for days, and this campaign gives me some relief.Sara, female

I am a 17 year old girl from South Africa (the country with one of the highest number of reported rapes in the world). I am outraged by not only the lack of action that takes place when a rape is reported in my country but also the complacency that accompanies all parties involved, including the woman raped, due to the belief that it is a common factor of our lifestyle in SA. Boys at my own school (a highly rated and expensive private school) believe that women have a responsibility to themselves to "avoid being raped" and ignore the fact that by stating this, is condoning the actions of the rapist. They state that a woman should "reduce the risk" of being raped in order to avoid such an occurrence. This campaign has opened my eyes to the world wide support of acting against rape in the correct manner: by blaming the rapist. It is difficult to imagine that in my own home country, simply walking into school leads to a danger of being raped and/or assaulted. I am definitely spreading this campaign around South Africa - I think a lot of people would benefit from the education it provides as well as the empowerment it gives to women of all ages. Thank you for inspiring me, and for believing in women.Olivia Fischer, female

This campaign is such an essential step towards a more educated society. The idea that a woman's expression of herself through clothing is perceived by some individuals as an invitation for sexual violence is disgusting. Is there anyway to get more involved in this campaign? I am an 18 year old student with a passion for this cause. I believe it is important not only to condemn extreme sexual violence such as rape but also to re-educate our society and steer away from rape-culture. I'm referring to common things such as an indivuals being groped and touched without consent. As I believe an acceptance of that in our society really does play a significant part in creating a rape culture. Everyone should have to right to control there own body and to feel safe. Obviously groping someone is not a crime but it's a crime against people that it is tolerated and that people consider it acceptable. However, this campaign is fantastic and I find the fact that it is clear that this is not a war on men but a war on rapists and rape-cultural.Mollie, female

I'm glad to see more and more sites like this. It's time for ethical men to put a stop to the long-waged terror campaign against women and girls, and this site provides great information to open eyes..Kenneth, male

Even a naked no, means no. . . I think should translate the point to the male mind, that clothing is not the point, the wording is the point. . . Some men make decisions with their eye's not ears, they need to see the word 'NO' in big bold letters in front of their eye's, as their hearing seem's to not work at times. . . Ultimately attitudes are are the heart of this issue. . . It's up to men to have a protective attitude only.Kali, male

This campaign is amazing, really glad I found this when searching online. No woman ever asks for this! No matter what we wear, how we may act when intoxicated no one asks for this, the mental scarring will never leave and I think it's great you guys are raising awareness! The conviction rate needs to be sorted soon! Already we have lost so many beautiful, talented women to suicide following their rapists being set free. There's no excuse!Lynsey, female

This campaign is truly fantastic! It's about time people realised that the blame is not on the female. Instead of campaigns aimed at women on how they should dress, and how they should act. Men need to be directed on not to rape. No means no, there is no confusion between the two.Lauren, female

Hi, I'm running an anti-rape campaign in my University, and I was wondering if there's any sort of leaflets or information you would be able to send me to help us out? This is one of my favourite campaigns as it focuses on male attitudes rather than attacking 'victims'. I am a survivor of rape myself and really want to try and run a good campaign across campus. Thanks, AmyAmy, female

Some of the info is a real eye openerChris, male

A great campaign - and the comments of far too many men (and not an insignificant number of women) here just prove why this is so needed.Alex, male

You should address male rape as well, this is far too one sided in trying to prevent rapeMichael, male

I wish we lived in a world in which the pieces of advice in this webpage were exagerated or ridiculous. Sadly, they are not, and so it is very precious, keep it up. It should be as simple a rule as: guys, don't be bastards.Carlos, male

This is a great site and a brilliant idea. We seriously need to stop thinking that there exists an excuse for rape or any kind of abuse. Sick people are just that, sick people, and they need to be put away. Women deserve all the respect they were born with. And let's not forget we men were also born from women. Cheers from Argentina.Federico, male

No surprise that the vast majority of negative comments you are receiving emanate from those who are responsible for the vast majority of rapes: men. I can't see how men are being "demonised" by a campaign urging the public not to commit an appalling crime. Are men "demonised" every Christmas by the 'don't drink and drive' campaign? Keep up the great work with this campaign...you'll get nowhere fast if you let a few people dilute your message because they "nearly" crashed their car due to a poster.Richard Chambers, male

I wish they had campaigns like this in the States. I was raped by my husband and the damage done has been awful. He thought it was okay because he wanted to and that's what I was there for. There needs to be more education on this topic so that men and women both clearly understand what rape is.Kris, female

Hi I'm Kaela and I'm from the Philippines! I just want to say that I am really a supporter of any anti-rape campaigns. I am not a victim if you are wondering but I have been touched before in a malicious way by some guy in a public transportation vehicle and my reaction was nothing. I was acting like a stone, I honestly dont know what to do. So my sympathy for those rape victims who has gone further is really high. I want to help a lot of girls, especially rape victims to attain justice. It's not about how a girl dresses herself. Its stupid to blame us if we dress in a certain way, if a guy goes out without a bulletproof jacket does that give me a right to shoot him? Was it your intention to go out unprepared? Will you blame me also? Or shall I blame you because you're stupid enough to go out without wearing a bulletproof jacket? Or will you also blame a girl who has led you on? Did the way she talked and stared at you made your dick that hard that you cant control yourself? No one has a reason to rape someone. No girl, even the sluttiest one wants to be raped. Once it's forced, once she said no you have to STOP. There's a fine line between when a girl's willing to have sex with you and when you're forcing her to have it with you. If some guys just cant control their hormones I suggest they all just stay at home because all these pretty ladies deserve to be seen with all respect even when she's wearing the shortest skirt you have ever seen. No one ever asked to be raped. We will not be in debt because you took notice of our bodies. Catcalling and rape should be illegal and let's all start by showing maniacs that we take a stand agains them.Kaela, female

I understand all the rape concepts you state. But, how can power rapes be reduced? Lets reduce it!Tim Patten, male

I was raped in high school and people still think its okay to put me in vulnerable situations like before, it will never be okay to submit me to that type of vulnerability on purpose ever. I will protect myself. I will be strongkatie peltier, female

For a long time I blamed myself for being molested because he told me I wanted it, that I was leading him on. When I found myself in a relationship months later with a different man, he wanted sex all the time. He said that because I said yes before it meant I still felt that way. Sometimes he would have sex with me while I was half asleep or after I told him I wasn't interested. If I asked him to stop he would say, "Come on, you're my girlfriend." I let this go on for so long because I felt pressured to keep quiet - as if saying something was worse than what these guys did. I just want to say thank you because this website has helped me realize that I don't have to be ashamed, the blame is not on me and I don't have to tolerate pressure. I am now happily single and I know that if I ever get into another relationship, it will be based on respect. :)Katie, female

I am from the US but i stiumbled upon this website researching for a project i am doing for school. i am a junior in high school and i want to start a support groups for sexual assault victims. i just want to thank everyone who contributed to this website because it opened my eyes to facts i never thought would be true and portrayed women not as objects but as what they are, people. thank you for all that you have done and i hope you all continue to try to make a difference. From all that have seen the trauma of sexual assault, we thank you.Kim Romph, female

I was directed to this website for a social response regarding rape and sexual assault for my Criminal Justice class at university and I'm glad to have taken the time to read it. It really puts things into perspective and gives greater insight into the effects and general misconceptions. More informative than any court report or legal study could. I do agree with some of the comments before mine in relation to highlighting that it is not simply females that are the victims although the majority are. Perhaps the website could dedicate a special section to the minority cases? this article is thought provoking and certainly challenges that mentality... however do not judge it on its title http://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2015/01/confessions-of-a-serial-rapist/ Very proud as well to be at a university where these issues are being tackled by our student unions. Keep up the good work people in raising awareness!!Kathleen, female

Men can be raped tooAnon, transgender

I just wanted to tell a 'rape awareness' organisation about something AMAZING that is happening. A girl in my year (year 11) posted an image you may be familiar with (the one of the pie chart showing the justifications of rape - revealing the only liable one is 'rapists') A boy in my year then commented claiming it was a lie stating the common misconceptions; "you're not in control when you're drinking, you can't help it" "if she's dressed as a HOE (yes) then she's bringing it on herself" AND LET ME TELL YOU the response in my year was amazing !! we've had nearly 100 comments on the post, boys and girls from my year have put forward the most mature, educational arguments I really wish I could attach images to show you the brilliance ! Its amazing that so many 16 years are educated enough to educate OTHER 16 years olds misinformed I just think this is the start of mass recognition of something that should already be fact. RAPISTS ARE THE ONLY LIABLE CAUSE OF RAPE.Anonymous , female

this is full out one of the best campaigns I've ever seen. And I'm rather annoyed my home country (cough America cough) hasn't gotten the gist of it yet even (or should I say especially) in our own military. By saying women (or men) dressing sexy or drinking too much etc gives men opportunities for rape is honestly insulting to men, like they are baseless animals who can't control their inhibitions and make their own choices. Rapists choose to rape, choose to commit violent or power driven acts they are not forced to do so by simply looking at someone in summer wear. We are humans, we have the ability to make choices even away from our instincts for needed resources such as food, shelter, money, intimacy/friendships, etc. We CAN CHOOSE. Animals are easier to predict, they have less psychological nuances that let them fight their biological urges but we have choice and to say anything different is insulting. So good on you 'this is not an invitation to rape me' campaign, good on you for putting the truth out thereTessa, female

It seems to me quite a few people are missing the point here - I read this campaign as a way of highlighting to all parties (male and female) that unless you get a YES, don't have sex with someone. It's not calling all men rapists. I'd argue it's highlighting the fact that if you don't get an unequivocal, adamant, clear, completely sober "YES" just don't go there. Clothing, drink, dress and an intimate relationship are completely irrelevant. If either of you have been drinking to the extent that you or your partner MIGHT not remember giving consent, don't initiate sex. If you look at a person and think "god, that clothing is hot, they so want it" ask yourself if you have been told YES. If you're in a relationship and your partner is a bit "meh" when you initiate sex, either back off or ask outright "are you interested?" If the answer is NO, don't go any further. If they are still a bit indecisive, back off and let them come to you if they want sex. Having worked with young men and women where there has been a question mark over someone's actions the next morning and word has got round that "X pushed Y into it" and "Y was drunk and passed out part way through so of course Y must have given consent" my response as their tutor always was "Why put yourself in such a dangerous position? If either party is even the tiniest bit unsure or inebriated, just back off. It doesn't matter if Y was walking around stark naked - unless Y asked explicitly without any external influence for sex from X, X should not have gone near them." Some got it, some didn't. I think that is what this campaign is trying to say and I applaud it, though I agree that it is too gender-biased. Men in straight and gay relationships, and women in lesbian relationships, can be sexually abused - this should be reflected.Zola, female

I think the lniks to share on facebook could be easlier to follow please. Great campaign though.Sue Sulat, female